How do I tell a man I want sex?

[Hmmmwhatshallipostabout]

I have met a guy online. Exchanged pictures of each other last week. We both feel something for each other and yesterday met up irl. It was a fantastic date, we got on so well. But at the end of the night he didn’t invite me back to his hotel room. I would definitely have gone back with him had he invited me but instead he took me to my station for me to catch the tube back home!

How do I now tell him for our next date I want to rip his clothes off and have mind blowing sex?
he never steers the conversation in flirty or dangerous territory so I feel it’s upon me to do so.

this is the first man I have spoken to since my separation from husband a year ago so I know alot of it has to do with that.

any helpful hints from you all in this predicament of mine are greatly appreciated!

Yes it is for both your enjoyments but I'm assuming your partner wanted to pleasure you. Men you've just met... 50/50 they only care about their own pleasure. As for instructions, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Does he know this? I think it’s only fair to make that clear. He’s travelling a long way to see you after all.

If he thinks you're out of his league, he probably thinks you're not interested in him sexually.

Anyway, good luck with the seduction.

I think you may be jumping the gun here if you’ve not heard from him after the date. If he was interested, however busy he is today, you’d at least get a short ‘I had a lovely time message’. If you have to message him on Monday, he’s definitely not interested.
I’d calm down your expectations a bit until you know you’re seeing him again. It sounds like he was being respectful and it’s possible you could have given the vibe that you were coming on a bit strong? Not all men want sex on a first date. Or even a second.

And if he does know then I’d just suggest meeting for a drink at his hotel (room) first

I don’t care how selfish this sounds or how crude but during sex after a lot of heavy foreplay I’ll only give blow jobs or give him the chance to orgasm after I’ve orgasmed.
I know there are a lot of men out there who only look out for their needs only but that’s not happening with me.

Because it's in the rules.

He is probably a gentleman

He did mention a few times on our date in a laughing manner that he can’t believe I met up with him as I’m out of his league. I just laughed it off as I don’t think I am.

well I’m not going to jump to assumptions that he’s not interested until I hear it from him. I understand he could have sent a quick ‘hey’ but we’ll see I guess

I would say you need to be upfront about what it is you’re looking for OP. It sounds like you want FWB, and that’s okay, but you need to make sure he is also happy for that set up.

Then TELL HIM you'd be up for some filthy squeezing. I'm sure he'd jump at the chance.

FFS!
at least wait!
He will have no respect for you if you’re that desperate to jump into bed with him!

I’d be a little 🤨 about that.

This… he’s just not that into you.

Save yourself for someone who doesn’t even make you question if they are up for sleeping with you.

Take the lead and suggest a 2nd date. Then do some heavy flirting. If he responds positively let him know you are DTF.

Maybe he’s looking for a long term thing over a casual sex hookup.

He came all the way from the south coast to see you, spent all day together, he was staying in a hotel for this date and there was no kissing….
I have to say I think that’s weird and unusual. That neither of you initiated some kissing during a whole
day, knowing it was a date and the effort involved.

I’m mid 30s and can’t imagine being in this situation.

Some guys really enjoy letting the tension build.
He may be with someone else this weekend and ending it respectfully with them before starting things with you.
He sounds like a decent man given it's only one date.
Relax and don't be over eager or it might ruin it. You can't get these early days back!

Do you know any of his dating history (divorced, widowed? Etc). Did either of you talk about your dating hopes (generally speaking). Anything for either of you to gauge the other’s expectations of dating.

He’s divorced with 2 children. Im divorced and no children.

our online conversations have never been flirty or sexual, its purely been a getting to know each other and general chit chat. Our vibe online and in person was/is very relaxed and easy going. We’ve both said we could go on talking to each other for hours.

OP it sounds like you might just want someone to have sex with, but maybe that isn't his goal. I do think if this was gender reversed it would be jumped on as unacceptable. It's not at all unacceptable, but requires an adult conversation with mutual respect. Either see how the next few dates go (anticipation can be a great thing!) or be honest about what you are looking for in a respectful manner. I hope it works out well for you both!

He doesn’t sound very interested or he is ‘playing hard to get’ which isn’t great. I think you need to move on OP. Nobody doesn’t have time to send a text!

Crikey, you sound full on!

If you just want hook ups, make that clear in your OLD profile or stick to sites that are just for sex.

If you were a man posting here and annoyed or frustrated that your first day together had not ended in sex, you'd be savaged.

Maybe he just doesn't fancy you?
Having a nice day doesn't equate to wanting to tear clothes off.

We’ve both said we could go on talking to each other for hours.
That's what good friends can do. It doesn't mean he fancies you.

I think you should take it more slowly, find sites that are just for sex if that's your goal, and let this man make more of the running.

Read the signs is my advice.

I might sound full on here but I can assure you I was my normal self with him. I’m sure of it 😬

Realistically, do you think men who don't respect women because they have sex early on, just like they have, EVER respect women?