Husband going to small festival on his birthday

[2025meme]

Hi my husband is going to a small festival on his birthday, I brought his ticket - I’m working so can’t go. I thought it was just him his mate and his mates gf
Turns out it’s now his mate his mates gf, his mates ex gf, his mates ex gf taking her 2 older nieces so I feel abit:( now group is going 2 men 4 women atm maybe another women going too.
I won’t be finished work by 3 so not worth me going, they won’t be home to 12am so I’ll be on my own on his birthday - I feel sad as it’s his birthday I won’t see him.

I know it’s 1 day but he rarely goes time off and I feel lonely x

Your issue isn't the festival, the issue is you married a workaholic who won't slow down.
I think the issue is she bought a ticket for an event for his birthday which is on his birthday and now she is complaining that he is going to the event and is complaining that she doesn't see him.
The options she had were
1 buy the ticket and be happy
2 buy the ticket and take leave and go with him
Or
3 buy something else and go out together.

His birthday's been the same day for years. If it wasn't possible for you to get the day/afternoon off work, and the event you wanted to get him tickets for only occurred on that day, all you can do is hope he enjoys himself and then maybe make plans to celebrate his birthday with him on another day when you're both free. I wouldn't worry about all the other people tagging along to the concert, as long as your husband doesn't mind. People probably heard about the event from your husband or his friend and thought it was cool and asked to come along, which is pretty typical for festivals.

In general, though - talk with him about feeling lonely and being unhappy about not spending time together, if you haven't. If this is a temporary situation, like a huge project he has at work that requires a lot of overtime, then sure you're going to feel a little sad (especially today) but you'll get through it. If it's ongoing, it'll likely feel worse over time, so try to figure out ways to get more time together and make the most of the time you do have, which may require changes and compromises from you both.

I think the "nasty" thread is, tbf, mainly because most of the posters on here (me included) don't trawl through someone's username history to check for any hidden backstory they've decided not to include.

If OP had said "My DH cheated on me and we're still rebuilding trust. He makes very little time for me but I've just found out that he's going to an event I can't make which I first thought was him and one couple but I've just found out will be him and lots of drunk single women and I feel upset and conflicted about it" that would have elicited different responses to "I don't want my DH to go to a festival I bought him a ticket for".

But you said in your original post that you brought his ticket.
So you obviously didn’t mind him going to this festival initially.
Why buy him a ticket to a festival on his Birthday knowing you couldn’t go too, but now decide you actually want to see him?
You make no sense.
I, like others on here, think that the only reason you now have the hump is because suddenly there’s a change in plan and lots of women are now going.
You need to explain yourself better and maybe provide us all with a bit more context.

You’ll feel sad on someone else’s birthday? Give over. Take him for lunch another day.

But you bought him the ticket. I really don’t understand your position but am guessing there is a big back story.

apparantly he cheated 3 years ago she wrote in another thread

@FrodoBiggins She mentions cheating IN THIS thread (post at 01:38).

I don’t trawl through back histories, I don’t have time for it.

I read between the lines

I agree she could have been clearer but tbf she is probably nervous of the responses when you’ve stayed with a cheat.

I looked at all her posts on this thread. She doesn’t mention cheating.

She asked someone else if they’d had been cheated on, never mentioned herself.

Yes it was a response to me but even that didn't make that much sense, she asked whether in my situation my partner (who's the one at home while I go out with members of the opposite sex) has cheated on me. She 'mentioned' cheating, she didn't say it had happened to her.

Your criticism of other posters refers to OP being cheated on 3 years ago, which means you (or whoever you gleaned tharlt from) obviously did go through her username history as that is not mentioned in her posts on this thread at all.

No I didn’t trawl old posts I have no idea why you’re trying to say I am lying. Odd.

The implication to me was clear from her post, I’ve been cheated on I got it. I don’t know why it wasn’t to other posters but that’s neither here nor there.

Other posters have confirmed that what I implied from her comment was true. Fair enough. They have time to check.

I ran with that.

Calm down mate noone said you're lying x

I’m confused, you booked it knowing you couldn’t go and you wouldn’t see him on his birthday as he would be there with his mate and his mates gf. But suddenly more people are going and now you’re pissed off you don’t get to see him on his birthday? But you weren’t going to anyway??

You bought his ticket @2025meme

If he had bought his own ticket knowing you couldn't go then perhaps fair enough have a moan, but you bought his ticket knowing you couldn't go.

But now it's arrived it's a problem and you are all "I want to see him on his birthday" so what's changed between buying his ticket and now?

Is it just the combination of people going?

And how old is he? I mean people just don't start snogging as soon as their partner is not there, it's much rarer than you think.

We are very definitely too old for lengthy festivals nowadays but say I did end up at one, I would happily sit there people watching, enjoying the atmosphere and occasionally thinking "he's a good looking BOY" because even at the tender age of 25 they would seem like a boy, but there is no chance in hell I would risk my whole life and marriage over a festival snog, that's just insanity.

Can you call a friend and do a lazy fun afternoon/evening in a local pub garden? Take your mind off husband and suggest a long weekend with you both doing something fun in the not too distant?

But you bought his ticket. WHY?

And why doesn't he ever take holiday or days off with you?

Mostly for good reason to be fair.

Your criticism of other posters refers to OP being cheated on 3 years ago, which means you (or whoever you gleaned tharlt from) obviously did go through her username history

Sounds like you were implying it to me 😆

Might be lost in translation - sorry if so. My typo probably didn't help!

I said either you, or whoever you got the idea from, must have looked back at her old posts to see she was cheated on 3 years ago. I think you agree that's what happened?

The issue is lots of people only look at the first post, or the first post & skim through OPs responses. I really don't think people would have reacted the same way if she'd explained the cheating.

Well no they wouldn’t

because it would be a completely different thread

You bought him the ticket knowing that meant you wouldn't see him on his birthday.

It sounds as though that was fine, until you knew some other women would be there.

So it isn't anything to do with you being lonely - your day won't be any different to how you expected it to be. Your concern is that he will be other women.

Do you trust him? If yes, then these women being present doesn't make any difference to your day.

Finally, why isn't it worth you going? You could go straight from work and still have half a day there.

If you’re so worried about your dh cheating, op, I don’t know why you would buy him a ticket to a festival on his own in the first place. There’s plenty of opportunity to get together with someone you start chatting to because you’re on your own at a festival. Less likely, I would have thought, among the group you’re with?

So weird for the mates gf that her bf ex is there

That’s what you took from this? Some exes are mates, including the gf

I’m not rereading the whole thing but someone defo said they’d seen an old comment from OP saying he’d cheated. Who knows. Looks like OP has checked out of the post anyway