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Original poster

Husband going to small festival on his birthday

210 replies

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:18

Hi my husband is going to a small festival on his birthday, I brought his ticket - I’m working so can’t go. I thought it was just him his mate and his mates gf
Turns out it’s now his mate his mates gf, his mates ex gf, his mates ex gf taking her 2 older nieces so I feel abit:( now group is going 2 men 4 women atm maybe another women going too.
I won’t be finished work by 3 so not worth me going, they won’t be home to 12am so I’ll be on my own on his birthday - I feel sad as it’s his birthday I won’t see him.

I know it’s 1 day but he rarely goes time off and I feel lonely x

OP posts:
MoistVonL · 01/07/2025 09:12

I agree, @Funnywonder - given the time OP posted and the, erm, interesting quality of her typing. I think she had too much to drink and lost her shit about it.

OP, if you don’t trust your partner, where he spends his birthday evening is irrelevant. And if you don’t trust your partner, you’re better off single.

Starlight1984 · 01/07/2025 09:12

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:36

Why is it ridiculous to w at to aimed tune wiyh
my husband in hai birthday ?

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???

NeedForSpeed · 01/07/2025 09:12

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:18

Hi my husband is going to a small festival on his birthday, I brought his ticket - I’m working so can’t go. I thought it was just him his mate and his mates gf
Turns out it’s now his mate his mates gf, his mates ex gf, his mates ex gf taking her 2 older nieces so I feel abit:( now group is going 2 men 4 women atm maybe another women going too.
I won’t be finished work by 3 so not worth me going, they won’t be home to 12am so I’ll be on my own on his birthday - I feel sad as it’s his birthday I won’t see him.

I know it’s 1 day but he rarely goes time off and I feel lonely x

So take the day off and join them.

Or bitch about your life decisions. Up to you.

MrsSunshine2b · 01/07/2025 09:13

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:41

It’s too far away

so as it’s his birthday I simply should not see him that day lol

no wonder the divorce rate is so high when people think it’s a spices birthday and you shouldn’t se them

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But you were the one that bought the ticket.

If it was important to you to spend that time with him, you could have booked a day of annual leave, or arranged something to do that started after you finished work.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 01/07/2025 09:17

But you bought his ticket! Why buy a ticket for something as a present if you're then going to feel sad about him using it?

SamkaSabrinka · 01/07/2025 09:18

MrsSunshine2b · 01/07/2025 09:13

But you were the one that bought the ticket.

If it was important to you to spend that time with him, you could have booked a day of annual leave, or arranged something to do that started after you finished work.

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OP should have had a day off work along with getting him the ticket, of course.

OP it's totally natural that you feel upset at not going with him, of course you should be by his side. So can you be off work and go?

maudelovesharold · 01/07/2025 09:22

silkypyjamas · 01/07/2025 08:41

A classic case on MN to not ask a question if you're not going to like the answer 🤔

Especially when you’ve also answered it yourself in your opening post!

Hi my husband is going to a small festival on his birthday, I brought his ticket - I’m working so can’t go.

How did you see it playing out when you first bought the ticket? That he would just go on his own? A lot of people prefer to go to events like that in the company of others. He’s obviously one of them.

Funnywonder · 01/07/2025 09:24

GreyCarpet · 01/07/2025 08:10

Tbh, I can understand that a head decision made sometime in advance can feel very different when it becomes a heart issue closer to the time.

In theory, she was ok with it. In practice, she now isn't. It seems he has cheated on the past and she chose to forgive him. It might have been easy for her to put the thousands of strange/unknown women out of her head (a mass of people he'd be unlikely to have interacted with) but not so easy to put the women he will he spending the whole day with out of her head.

It doesn't make sense from a logical perspective but emotions aren't logical.

The only problem for her is that the only reason he is going is becaise she bought him a ticket. There isn't a solution to this beyond her telling him.she now doesn't want him to go or to go herself. Other than that, she just has to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and address the issue of them rarely seeing each other. Or end it because he cheated and she doesn't trust him.

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That’s an interesting perspective. You are right. People do make advance decisions to do things and then doubt/regret their decision closer to the time. I’m one of them! And then of course adding the new dynamic of who’s going to the festival into the mix. I suppose many of us go through thought processes like this, but we generally keep them inside our heads.

BeachPossum · 01/07/2025 09:26

Next time book the day off work and join him.

Taytayslayslay · 01/07/2025 09:32

malificent7 · 01/07/2025 06:12

I think it's about the ex being there on his birthday and not you. Normal to feel a bit sad abouy it but don't read to much into it.

It's not his ex it's his mates ex

Nofrogslegs · 01/07/2025 09:49

Doyoumind · 01/07/2025 01:45

I'm so confused. You bought him a ticket but now you're annoyed you won't see him? Why does it matter who's going? He's going because you got him the ticket. I don't understand your grievance.

Exactly. I’m confused too.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 01/07/2025 09:55

Your issue isn't the festival, the issue is you married a workaholic who won't slow down.

Tillow4ever · 01/07/2025 09:57

Starlight1984 · 01/07/2025 09:12

???

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@Starlight1984I think it says this: Why is it ridiculous to want to spend time with my husband on his birthday.

Dahliasrule · 01/07/2025 10:11

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:41

It’s too far away

so as it’s his birthday I simply should not see him that day lol

no wonder the divorce rate is so high when people think it’s a spices birthday and you shouldn’t se them

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But you bought him the ticket so knew you wouldn’t see him.

autumn1610 · 01/07/2025 10:12

@2025meme im so confused your upset he’s going to the festival but you brought him a ticket to it? If you wanted to spend the day with him why would you buy him a ticket to the festival??

BuckChuckets · 01/07/2025 10:15

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:41

It’s too far away

so as it’s his birthday I simply should not see him that day lol

no wonder the divorce rate is so high when people think it’s a spices birthday and you shouldn’t se them

Show quote history

Can't you book the time off work? Surely that would be the obvious suggestion - did he suggest that?

Menapausemum1974 · 01/07/2025 10:31

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:41

It’s too far away

so as it’s his birthday I simply should not see him that day lol

no wonder the divorce rate is so high when people think it’s a spices birthday and you shouldn’t se them

Show quote history

@2025meme i'm confused, why did you buy him the ticket if you wanted to spend the time with him?🤷‍♀️

Twiglets1 · 01/07/2025 10:31

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:41

It’s too far away

so as it’s his birthday I simply should not see him that day lol

no wonder the divorce rate is so high when people think it’s a spices birthday and you shouldn’t se them

Show quote history

No one thinks that.

But you chose to buy him a ticket to attend a festival on his Birthday knowing that you wouldn't be there too.

Either book a day's leave yourself if you can, or go after work or suck it up.

Chewbecca · 01/07/2025 10:37

I don't get it.
You bought him a ticket so presumably was happy for him to go.
But when more people he knows are going, you aren't happy about it any more?
Why does who is going change whether you are happy for him to go or not?

DiscoBob · 01/07/2025 10:40

OP, you're deliberately avoiding the reason why people are criticising you. It's because you were happy to have him go, and bought him a ticket. Now suddenly you claim you're going to miss him too much because there are several other women attending.
Why don't you address this rather than saying people are being nasty?

PotolKimchi · 01/07/2025 10:54

I am confused @2025meme - you wouldn’t have seen him ANYWAY. No matter how many people are going. The additional number of people are just that- more people. How does it actually alter the plan for the day?

You weren’t going to see him and he was going to a festival you booked for him (which was very nice of you) with 3 people
versus
You weren’t going to see him and he was going to a festival you booked for him (which is still very nice of you) with 8 or 9 people.

What is the difference?!

PotolKimchi · 01/07/2025 10:55

If you wanted to spend time with him then why did you book him the ticket? Did you expect him to say no or to ask you and then you could take leave and instead he’s going with a bigger gang that doesn’t include you?!

notacooldad · 01/07/2025 10:58

misswd the point my husand works a lot we don’t spend much time together so won’t be able to do anything another day
Sorry, im a bit baffled.
You bought him the ticket in the first place right?
So you wouldn't have been seeing him.anyway......right?
So why did you but him something that was taking him away on his birthday?
You finish at 3, if you hadn't bought the ticket you both could have gone out together in the evening

no wonder the divorce rate is so high when people think it’s a spices birthday and you shouldn’t se them
Im not sure what you mean
What's the divorce rate got to do with anything? Its you who got him a ticket.

Mumble12 · 01/07/2025 11:01

2025meme · 01/07/2025 01:35

The Nieces aren’t children they are in they’re 20s

misswd the point my husand works a lot we don’t spend much time together so won’t be able to do anything another day

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but you wouldnt have spent the day with him whether one extra person was going or one hundred. Your issue isn't not spending the day with him, its the other attendees.

LoveSandbanks · 01/07/2025 11:03

You’re not making any sense. You bought the ticket for him to go and now you’re pissed off that you won’t see him on his birthday!

why did you buy the ticket? Why didn’t you book the day off so you could go?

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