Man 35 with no children is this a red flag?

[singlemumoffour]

Hi,

Just curious to know what other think on this matter? Would you say this is a red flag? He also hasn’t had very long relationships and lives with his dad?

No.

Not necessarily unless he’s a virgin?

Of course not. I would rather date a childless 35 year old than one with kids.

How can you question whether a childless man age 35 is a red flag with a user name like singlemumoffour? 😂

Living with his dad at that age is much more of a red flag to me!

😂 Indeed!

Yes the irony hey 😂

The only part that would concern me would be living with his dad - fine if he's moved back in to save a deposit (& is actively doing so), or has stayed at home but paid a reasonable rent & contributed to day-to-day household chores. Not great if he's paying minimal keep, not saving & not doing his fair share...

Not having had a LTR and living with his dad are bigger red flags imo.

I know many men and women who were childfree at 35

My husband was 38 and childless when we met. But then I was only a few years younger and also childless.

Like others the still living at home would concern me more.

Agreed

No I’d love to meet a childless man I’d much prefer that! and yes I have kids of my own but we can all have preferences

I had an ex who was living with her mother at 33 when I met her and at 43 when we finally went our separate ways............

Living with his parents and never having a relationship are big red flags.

If he had relationships and didn't have kids and claimed to want/like children it would be a red flag. I'd assumed he'd probably have screwed over a few women and future faked them.

He has had relationships just never worked out. He does want children.

Yes, my thought as well.

Two people make a child, one of those people takes responsibility to take care of that child/children but thats a red flag?

Why? It might not be something someone would be interested in personally but can you explain why it's a red flag?

The OP's husband could be dead/abusive etc. I really would be curious how that's a red flag on her.

Exactly. That part's totally normal.

Nope

The childless bit would be nothing but a bonus in my book. No baggage, no step children to hate to have to have a relationship with.

But never had a long ten relationship and lives with his dad? Er, no. That’s weird.

Could he possibly still be living at home and providing care for an elderly or disabled parent?

I would worry the relationships never worked out because, he’s difficult or non committal, also no children and still not financially independent, red flag he can’t save or manage money well.

"He does want children" - so obviously you'll be leaving him well alone then? I really hope the red flag that he doesn't have children is a red flag because you don’t want a man who expects to have children with you. I hope.

I mean, you wouldn't dream of foisting a man they aren't related to, plus a potential fifth half sibling, on your four children, would you?

Given that they have presumably been through something in the breakdown of your relationship with their dad, and children really shouldn't have to live with people they aren't related to - and don't do well on it, they pretend they are ok but would really prefer not. You wouldn't do something so selfish and irresponsible.

I would expect you will be having nice, fun, loving relationships with any man you want, and making sure they dont get involved with your family and your children until the children are considerably older.

I am a 35 year old childless woman. Does that make me a red flag?

There are many reasons why people don’t have children at 35. Not wanting them at all, wanting to be financially stable before creating a life, not having met the right person, fertility issues.

Some people may say having 4 children (possibly by different fathers) and being single is a red flag. I guess it depends who you ask.

I know a few men who were childfree at 35 and hadn't had a LTR. Nice guys but relationships just hadn't worked out.

After reading countless Mumsnet threads about women stuck in very unhappy marriages and LTRs, I think being single is a better choice than being with someone just to avoid being alone.

My partner was still living at home when we got together. We were both about 30 at the time. It seemed weird to me as I'd been living in shared houses or renting my own flat since my student days. He said it just made economic sense.

The key difference between us might have been that I had left my home town to go to university and never gone back whereas he had always stayed in the same town.

It didn't put me off and the plus point was that he had been able to save far more than I had which really helped when we were putting down the deposit on our first house.