Man 35 with no children is this a red flag?

[singlemumoffour]

Hi,

Just curious to know what other think on this matter? Would you say this is a red flag? He also hasn’t had very long relationships and lives with his dad?

Oh wow so now it’s gone to women who have multiple fathers are a red flag too?

Honestly the women on this thread 😂

diabolical some of these comments when it was literally a simple yes or no question really.

But have I been judgemental? NO

i asked a simple fucking question 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ but have been getting really shitty comments, assumptions and remarks by other women with hilarious judgments and opinions on single parents.

Asking the question in the first place implies to me that you are being judgemental about men in this situation. If you were not judgemental you wouldn't need to ask the question, instead you'd be giving him a chance and getting to know him.

OP, if two or more of this man’s friends implied that you are a red flag for having 4 children and he wrote a thread on here asking if this is indeed a red flag, I assume you’d be offended…

if you say so 🙄

Couldn’t care less if honest.

They prob have said this to him but that’s down to him isn’t it? If he was to ask people’s opinions then that’s ok and his choice.

Of course it's his choice but since your updates - if he wants children and you don't want any more children why on earth are you even considering pursuing a relationship with him. It's unfair to both of you and his and your current circs are irrelevant.

Why the anger? You did ask for our opinions 🤷

Anyways I’m off and I unwatching this thread.

Thanks to everyone that did offer their opinions on the thread matter and didn’t judge, assume and comment shitty remarks about single mums, single mums with multiple fathers and what I should be doing as a parent.

Enjoy the rest of your evening 😊

only opinions that align with the OP's 🤔

Not a red flag at all. A good sign that they haven't walked away from kids in a previous relationships.

It’s not a red flag at all, it’s fine.

I know lots of 35yos who don’t have kids (mostly women actually).
Gone are the days where you had to reproduce or be seen as having something wrong with you.

FWIW I have never lived with a man or been in a long term relationship.
I enjoy being single and I wouldn’t want to share my home with anyone else.
I may not be the norm but I’m definitely not a red flag.

I don’t understand why a man who’s never wanted kids is going to be in a relationship with someone with kids but I’m guessing your kids are grown up.

I don’t date men who want kids or have kids under 7, not because I’m a bad person but I just do not want to raise young children.

No. Loads of people are single at 35. But you aren't comparable because he wants children and you do not.

No not all. Everyone on here says how difficult dating is these days and we all know how expensive accommodation is these days too. Maybe it's just not happened for him through no fault of his own.

If you couldn't care less then why are you complaining about all the comments here?

I think there are people who have multiple children that can't quite understand why others actively choose not to. I don't have children, never wanted to and never will and have experienced this attitude myself. The notion that you would actively take precautions against pregnancy and have agency over this is difficult for some people to comprehend.

Did I say women only? Think you’ll find that I specifically sad “men or women”.

But yes. I judge anyone who has multiple children by multiple different partners. It’s a shit environment to bring children into, where there are multiple mummies and daddies, no full siblings, and a million step and half siblings. It’s just tacky and no-one thinks of the kids.

Shag as many people as you like, there’s just no need to have a baby every time you have a shag.

Ignore my comment, typed that ages ago and its only just posted 🙄

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

With costs in some areas, might be unavoidable (plus if he's split up with a partner, it's better than being lonely). In lots of cultures, even not so long ago in the UK, intergenerational living can be seen as a good thing.
While ideally I'd say it's better to marry and settle down younger, although there's nothing wrong with not getting married/having kids if you don't want to, it's harder these days. A lot of men and women talk about how they wish it was still normal to be like our grandparents were, instead of spending forever on dating sites and always thinking the grass might be greener...so it's really not surprising that a lot of people don't have kids by 35.

Maybe he just has a really good relationship with his Dad?

and can see that it is a mutually smart financial move to live with him and in full awareness that his dad won't be around forever so make the most of it?

I just wish OP had explained what kind of red flag she was asking about. Because when we suggested different kinds of red flags she went off on one about being judged as a single parent. So she must have had an idea of what kind of red flag she meant. But wouldn't say.

Why on earth would anyone expect a man of 35 to have children, or a woman for that matter? Unbelievable in 2025 - but then a lot of stuff on MN is increasingly unbelievable.