Husband fancies me less since I got fit?

[LolalaBouche]

Me & DH are both early 40s. One DS (10). Together 20 yrs. DH is gorgeous- tall, dark & handsome, a runner with a great physique. Also aging has improved him- he really suits salt & pepper hair etc. Pppl often comment on his good looks. (He’s also a lovely person). By contrast, I am decidedly physically average and have not improved with age!
Im an ED nurse and in the past 12 months I lost some weight due to work stress. I noticed I was feeling a bit better about myself so started working out, I’ve changed how we eat (always cooked from scratch but started prioritising protein etc), and I’ve started running a bit. So I’m physically now in better shape than I have been since my early 20’s- I’m 5’7 and around 10st 5 so not skinny by any means but slim. I’ve gone from a size 14/16 to a 10. I’ve been told I look well.
DH and I have always had a great sex life but since I’ve lost the weight, he just isn’t as interested. The only sex we’re having is when I initiate it, and it very much feels like he’s having sex with me out of a sense of obligation. He used to be quite handsy when we were alone but that has stopped. He has said that my body feels weird when he hugs me because I’d been curvy for a long time.
I really miss our former intimacy. I would still fancy him if he gained some weight and I feel like I’m somehow being punished for starting to take better care of myself. I’ve always been aware that I was punching but this is just making me feel crap.
Anyone else experienced anything like this?

When did 14/16 become not healthy, I've been that since my teens and hubby loves me as I am

Agree.

And I think it was the automatic “congratulations op for getting so stressed you lost weight “that started people saying the automatic assumptions that she is a) healthier and b) without a shadow of a doubt more sexually desirable that made people start chiming in with the anorexia etc stories.

It’s a bit sad how categoric the assumption is on a site for mums.

A dress size on its own is a very unreliable measure of health.

Without height they are really useless for anything other than buying clothes. Someone who is short could easily be an unhealthy weight at a 14/16.

I'm so sorry to hear you were hospitalised with sunburn, just on Monday 😢
I'm praying you feel much better immensely soon
Take extra divinest care of yourself & hope you will be able to treat yourself to something really special to cheer yourself up, as you most surely deserve
God Bless You&Yours
💚✨💚

And someone who is very tall could be unhealthy in an 8 or 10.

Why is it only allowed to be said in one direction on this thread?

@Calliopespa

they couldn’t. It’s BMI that determines if someone is a healthy weight. Clothes size is irrelevant.

It isn’t. Otherwise your post would have been deleted.

Sorry if I (unintentionally) struck a nerve.

Thank you. I'm just up at 3.30am having my dressings changed. Lovely BF stayed over to help. Typing this on his tablet as too uncomfortable to hold a phone & type on it at moment.

You're Most Welcome Sincere Soul
I'm So Comforted To Know You Have Such a Devoted Boyfriend Dedicated To Helping You Heal 💚
Phenomenal News
Thank you too for your compassionate enlightenments & thoughtfulness

Maybe he likes the extra weight? A lot of men dont like slim/skinny women. Some men like us built for speed, but others like us built for comfort - as told me by a man

No you didn't strike any nerves, I am just pointing out what perplexes me. I am an 8 to 10 but healthy weight.

However I am also above average height, but NOT extremely tall. I have a friend who is extremely tall and wears an 8 and is unhealthy.

My DH - slim, tall but broad, is apparently obese on his BMI.

Some men prefer a fuller figure. Alternatively, it could be that he enjoyed feeling that he was “the hot one” in your relationship and feels threatened now that he thinks others may think that you’re the hot one?

Look at centuries of art - so often naked women painted by men. And the one thing you'll notice is the curves.

If you're old enough to remember page 3 girls, it was the curves.

It's women's magazines that promote thin as the ideal. Have a look, if you can bear it, at some men's magazines. Curves.

They signify prosperity, fertility, lushness, eroticism. And (I understand!) feel nice. Straight men like curves.

There's a thread on Mumsnet by a woman unhappy that her husband is soft and curvy and has no muscle tone. She's getting some flak. We know what we like, and if he doesn't like what you're doing for yourself, ask yourself is it control? Is he suspicious that you're trying to attract someone else? Or is it simply he doesn't fancy the slimmer you quite so much?

Yes this is how it seems to me too
💚😇💚