Can’t get over husbands porn addiction.

[ThisAmpleDenimCrab]

Hi, is there anyone out there that has experienced this? I’d really appreciate any input as I’m lost!

I’m married with kids. I’m just not getting on with my husband. We’ve had a lot of external problems over recent years, which hasn’t helped. I’ve always blamed things on that, but now I’m not so sure.

We don’t have sex anymore, he wants to, but I don’t since I found out he was addicted to porn. I know it’s not cheating but I kind of feel a bit like it was 😞 . He admitted to ‘liking’ girls porn videos, He says it went no further, but I don’t believe this. I don’t like the term ‘Ick’ but it’s given me the ick 🤣.

He says his porn addiction is my fault as I was so difficult around this time (we went through a bad patch). I probably was an arse, it was during covid and I wasn’t that happy.

There were times I tried to initiate sex but he couldn’t perform as he’d recently relieved himself to porn.

He says he won’t live in a sexless marriage (when I have had sex with him, it’s awful and I just feel like an ‘outlet’). He makes no effort anymore. I’m also in my late forties and feel so self conscious that he is looking at younger women.

Anyway, I’m rambling, this was a while ago but I still can’t forget it! Do I leave?

He is getting sexual gratification from other women, which is the very definition of cheating. And your gut knows this; that is why you are so uncomfortable with it that you no longer wish to have sex with him. He has betrayed your trust and his marriage vows.

Not to get political here, but the patriarchy puts great effort into convincing women that porn is not cheating. But our instincts know the truth.

@CuarloDeFonza uuuuuuugh uuuuuuuugn you pig 🐷

Thank you. I agree and think the same. The children don’t have any idea as we don’t argue. It’s just an underlying current of dislike.

Do you ever wonder about all the women exploited and get the ick Cuarlo?

Tanks mate. This is what I think too. Not even sure why I made the post. Just know I’m f’ked tbh x

Don't be rude.

I mean you sound so self satisfied. FYI your prostate will still be f…Ed no matter how many wanks you have.

Also, why are you hanging around on a mums forum as a 50 year old man? There’s plenty of websites for you available.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to post a link to my favourite Victoria Wood's comic song: 'Political Correctness Gone Mad;. NSFW.

"He has the tissues standing by"...

I think it's largely consenting adults. It's a billion dollar tax paying industry, I'm not the moral arbitrator. Governments could easily ban it if they wanted to, it's wouldn't bother me either way. There is daily exploration in all work places of women in many industries and societies. Porn serves a purpose, ask any politician. Have you ever taken cocaine? Or online gambling? There are victims everywhere if you look a little deeper. No?

This needs repeating, because objectification of women has been normalised to the extent that some women actually think it's ok.

Blow Dry? Really. Freudian slip..stop being rude.
And I'm not giving your advice. 🛑

You are sick and depraved and you need professional help 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Yes well, this isn’t a debate on porn as such. I was just asking for help in a difficult time. Wasn’t asking for a weird old wank obsessed man with a shrivelled old prostate comments was I? Enjoy the porn, those girls wouldn’t touch you xxx

@ThisAmpleDenimCrab ‘shrivelled old prostate’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣brilliant

Hello op so sorry you're going through this.
I have years of experience on this topic so feel free to ask away.

Il leave some resources for you

On reddit love after porn a wonderful group of women and resources.

Podcasts
Choose to be
helping couples heal
Pbse
Jake porter
Pam blizzard

Omar minwhall secret sexual basement

I'd reccomend the naked truth project and cat etherington for therapy for you and Chris jones therapy for your partner if willing/interested.

Yes you can absolutely leave and that's your choice and right. I do know couples who have stayed together with the addict committed to recovery and change. Who now have wonderful relationships. So it is possible but only if they are committed, recovery isnt a quick process. At some point you will also need to work on your own healing, which isn't fair but important for you to move forward regardless of the relationship status.

For now I would focus on what you need to feel safe if that's separate rooms, partner moving out/staying with someone to give you some space. Working with a therapist can really help to put in some boundaries that keep you feeling safe whilst you figure out how you feel about this and what you want moving forward.

Nothing grosser than an older man jacking off to 18 year olds with tiny bodies, forever ick.

Thank you. It’s the first time I’ve ever told ‘anyone’. I’ve almost been made to feel it’s normal. Yes, I know everyone, particularly men watch porn. But I feel this is different.