Argh! DD caught me with FWB in the house

[Lionesseses]

Long story short, my DD(15) came home unexpectedly from school earlier, and arrived home to find me in the house with my ‘friend’. She knows him vaguely as he’s the dad of a school friend of hers (we’re both single parents, and that’s how we met originally).

She didn’t catch us at it, thank God. But we were both upstairs (we had just had sex, and had got dressed again). I was all easy breezy about it saying ‘Oh, Andy is here! We weren’t expecting you home!’ But I was embarrassed and massively thankful she hadn’t been ten minutes earlier!

Then he left and she was asking why he was here, are we seeing each other etc. She doesn’t know that we’ve had this arrangement for a couple of years now, completely physical, friendly on the rare occasions we see each other otherwise but with no intention of becoming a proper couple.

I don’t want to explain our relationship to her because it’s not really her business and it’s not the kind of concept I’d want her thinking of (especially not in the context of me!). Am I right to do that…?

And I worry it might have spoiled things now cos my DD will tell her mate, and it might lead to embarrassment all round. Argh! Annoying.

Any thoughts? I guess I’m hoping it blows over.

Hmmmm. Do you think you could get away with telling her you're just mates? And that he was upstairs having a look at your plumbing? Which wouldn't completely be a lie I suppose....🤔

God I don’t actually have any advice, I have no idea how to explain the situation to your DD. I mean you’re both single, you’re not doing anything wrong, but equally I can understand why you wouldn’t want your DD (or his), to know about your situation.

How did she manage to come home from school early? Our schools don’t allow them to leave during the school day without a parent (at least until their last year, and even then they have to have verbal authorisation from parents).

I wondered the same thing but it’s apparently to do with exams. She did ring me but I was… busy.
School is only a little distance away as well. In Y11 they are allowed out at lunchtime so she does very occasionally come home. But never before without advance warning.

That’s not a bad call actually. If she asks again, I might try that.

She may have noticed the two coffee mugs in my bedroom (not only do I shag him but I also brew up afterwards. How nice am I?) but I hope not or that I can pass that off innocently as well!

Your attitude is grim.

I can almost guarantee that at 15 your daughter will be aware of the concept of FWB

I wouldn't say anything unless she asks but I also wouldn't go to much out of the way to deny it?

Ah, bloody hell! 😂

My kids’ schools are like fortresses, so they aren’t allowed out at lunch either thankfully! (I’ve never had any reason to worry that they’d come home at an “inopportune” moment, although absolutely no judgement!)

Maybe the above pp’s idea of “fixing the plumbing” might work!

To whom are you replying?

My 15 year old would laugh. When I have had my boyfriend over during the day she makes funny jokes and I’m the one that cringes.

The OP came on here for suggestions. Not judgement.

Nothing grim about your attitude OP.

I'd just say that you catch up for a coffee every now and then. I'd then tell your FWB to get your stories straight.

Sounds like a good arrangement you have OP. Just check there are no early finishes from school in future!

Surprised you didn't send him out the window down the drainpipe 😂

It doesn't sound like either of you were doing anything you shouldn't have been (cheating on partners etc). So I suppose you come up with a story together (helping you fix your laptop, fixing a dodgy wardrobe door, anything that would be plausible for you, although I suppose it depends how sheepish and flustered you were looking when you came down the stairs!!), stick to it, and deny deny deny anything else.

Why ?

If you wanted to avoid 'embarrassment all round', you might have thought twice about setting up a sex-only arrangement with the parent of one of your young Daughter's friends. Grim, just grim.

First of all go on shagger, at it on a Monday no less 😂. I think you should probably be honest with her. Have an adult conversation and ask her to keep it to herself. To be honest it is hard to say because I don’t know your daughter, you kind of need to gauge her maturity level. She will be a bit mortified because no one wants to know that their parents have sex at all, let alone a friend with benefits.

Alternatively you can deny and make up some story. Personally I would probably go with honesty, but it really depends on you and your DDs relationship.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it though. You’re not grim, you’re not wrong for having needs.

I wouldn’t worry about it - you’ll both be the ick amongst her and her pals for a short time and then they’ll move onto more interesting topics of conversation.

Blimey OP I have no suggestions for you but just wanted to say ignore the "Grim"
Posters!!

I mean what's grim about it? Two free single consensual adults having well needed fun.

There are some very strange people about!!

I for one think OP has a brilliant attitude. Monday afternoon shag? I could only dream of such things!

You can say you are just mates but she won’t believe you… 15 year olds are well aware of FWB arrangements

If a 'FWB' arrangement is what OP was looking for, there are plenty of men around that aren't Parents to her Daughter's friends. Why add the issue of the kids both finding out and being mortified that their Parents are having sex with each other? Teenagers are easily mortified, and this just seems like something that could have been avoided. Yuck.

what’s with all the grim comments?

I’d just say that you aren’t seeing each other but you do catch up for coffee from time to time.

And try not to wink when you say "coffee". Or do air quotes.

Good for you OP, bit of Monday fun and you were kind enough to make him a brew. Your daughter will want to believe you're just friends so I would go with that. Less said the better and maybe double lock the front door next time...

I'm just jealous. Ignore all the grim comments.

I'd just tell her the truth. She's going to see through whatever lie you tell her, or at the very least smell a rat. She's 15, most kids have had to come to terms with the fact that their parents have sex by this point. It's not like she'll never have heard of the concept of FWB by this point either.

😆😆😆
no it's not