Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Argh! DD caught me with FWB in the house

1000 replies

Lionesseses · 09/06/2025 14:08

Long story short, my DD(15) came home unexpectedly from school earlier, and arrived home to find me in the house with my ‘friend’. She knows him vaguely as he’s the dad of a school friend of hers (we’re both single parents, and that’s how we met originally).

She didn’t catch us at it, thank God. But we were both upstairs (we had just had sex, and had got dressed again). I was all easy breezy about it saying ‘Oh, Andy is here! We weren’t expecting you home!’ But I was embarrassed and massively thankful she hadn’t been ten minutes earlier!

Then he left and she was asking why he was here, are we seeing each other etc. She doesn’t know that we’ve had this arrangement for a couple of years now, completely physical, friendly on the rare occasions we see each other otherwise but with no intention of becoming a proper couple.

I don’t want to explain our relationship to her because it’s not really her business and it’s not the kind of concept I’d want her thinking of (especially not in the context of me!). Am I right to do that…?

And I worry it might have spoiled things now cos my DD will tell her mate, and it might lead to embarrassment all round. Argh! Annoying.

Any thoughts? I guess I’m hoping it blows over.

OP posts:
Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 16:16

notadrift · 09/06/2025 16:13

OP is very, very proud of herself and not worried at all.

I reckon she got a kick out of the risk. School is very local, daughter doing GCSEs and little formal school time, she knew it was a risk and it added to her thrill

WhiteWidowWithAttitude · 09/06/2025 16:19

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at authors request

greengreyblue · 09/06/2025 16:20

Just say he was going to quote for some diy work. But the moment has passed now so what did you say?

Cyclebabble · 09/06/2025 16:22

You do not need to discuss your sex life with DD. Just say that you are friends and see each other on occasion- which is true. A few years older and she will find this quite funny, but she is at a delicate age. I have told the story before of DS clearing out his grandad's house when he had passed away aged 84. In his late 70s he had a girlfriend of the same age. We found 13 packets of viagra up on a high shelf. DS described him as "a bit of a legend" which under difficult circumstances was nice.

Gloriia · 09/06/2025 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at authors request

You've just got to decide what your values are. If you think casual sex is ok then fine, don't be surprised or disappointed when your kids follow your lead.

Cyclebabble · 09/06/2025 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at authors request

You should not give a flying one and I wish you every happiness after a difficult time.

Frittercakes · 09/06/2025 16:24

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 16:16

I reckon she got a kick out of the risk. School is very local, daughter doing GCSEs and little formal school time, she knew it was a risk and it added to her thrill

You need help.

lefthandedcat · 09/06/2025 16:25

Leave it. Unless she brings it up again don't mention the incident. By opening a conversation you're making it important and she'll get suspicious, just keep silent about it and it'll soon be forgotten.

TENSsion · 09/06/2025 16:25

FortyElephants · 09/06/2025 15:26

South? It's a FWB. How far south do you think it could go?

Good point.

FWB situations NEVER become messy 🙄

Bulldog01 · 09/06/2025 16:25

You have done nothing wrong, you are Human. I think most Mums have had awkward moments like this with young adult Children turning up unannounced.
I would have a lock on the door. I would not share my private moments with my Daughter, regardless of her age! My Husband and i are not intimate much now, that we are in our sixty's. The other night, we were in the middle of sex, our daughter kept going up & down the stairs. She is 31 years. We decided to quit & go to sleep!
If your Daughter, asks what is going on in the bedroom, you are not obligated to discuss your intimate life, especially when your Daughter is only 15.
She may not fully understand that people have physical & emotional needs!

pimplebum · 09/06/2025 16:26

sassyduck · 09/06/2025 14:49

I'm just jealous. Ignore all the grim comments.

To all the “grim” posters ? Wft is wrong with you ???

two single adults having a bit of fun, most kids don’t like the thought of their parents having sex at any time with anyone , so should we all clamp up our vaginas for ever post break up ? Get a life it’s not as if the op was caught swinging naked from a chandelier with a dildo up her arse !

op just tell your daughter he was having a look at you etchings/ electronics/ plaster whatever is most believable and make sure he sticks to same story

also put air tag on your daughter and bolt the door next time !

Lovewine1975 · 09/06/2025 16:26

This post has cheered me up this afternoon, absolutely hilarious comments honestly I'm chuckling away at work, well done OP have some fun life is to short!!

CantStopMoving · 09/06/2025 16:27

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 09/06/2025 15:21

It's not the casual sex people are saying is grim, it's the fact that you picked your DD friends' dad to do it with.

Why’s that grim? No idea how old you are but by the time you get to your 40s with children you social sphere shrinks massively. If you happen to come across someone you fancy I don’t quite see what the problem is.

It isn’t like the OP was FWB the daughter’s geography teacher! I can see that might be a tad awkward…

Flashahah · 09/06/2025 16:27

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 16:16

I reckon she got a kick out of the risk. School is very local, daughter doing GCSEs and little formal school time, she knew it was a risk and it added to her thrill

Your sick and weird for that to even come into your mind!

Flashahah · 09/06/2025 16:28

Flashahah · 09/06/2025 16:27

Your sick and weird for that to even come into your mind!

*you’re

LosingSleeping · 09/06/2025 16:28

Op, how does your FWB feel about being discovered.

Is he ok with it ?

Hankunamatata · 09/06/2025 16:28

Sorry op but I did giggle

I would front it out and lie through your teeth (and make sure he does the same with same story)

FortyElephants · 09/06/2025 16:29

Gloriia · 09/06/2025 16:10

It's grim because you'd hope the op will have taught her dd that sex is usually part of a loving, committed relationship and not to be used by men just wanting a leg over. Yes the op is an adult and can do as she pleases but in the same way we wouldn't get shit faced every night infront of teens because we are supposed to set an example having very casual sex in the family home would seem a bit shit.

Can't you book a hotel room for a couple of hours next time op?

Oh hush 🤫

CantStopMoving · 09/06/2025 16:29

Gloriia · 09/06/2025 16:22

You've just got to decide what your values are. If you think casual sex is ok then fine, don't be surprised or disappointed when your kids follow your lead.

Who doesn’t think casual sex is fine as long as both adults are consenting and suitable precautions are taken? Are we in the year 1883?

UnctuousUnicorns · 09/06/2025 16:30

FortyElephants · 09/06/2025 15:30

Eh, the only 'south' I ever see on threads about FWB is when it's fizzling out because one person wants more than the other or has met someone else. Hardly Cathy Heathcliff levels of drama.

Who the fuck's Cathy Heathcliiff when she's at home? 🤷‍♀️

K0OLA1D · 09/06/2025 16:30

Gloriia · 09/06/2025 16:22

You've just got to decide what your values are. If you think casual sex is ok then fine, don't be surprised or disappointed when your kids follow your lead.

God almighty.

FortyElephants · 09/06/2025 16:30

Gloriia · 09/06/2025 16:22

You've just got to decide what your values are. If you think casual sex is ok then fine, don't be surprised or disappointed when your kids follow your lead.

Well obviously if we think casual sex is fine when all involved are mature adults we aren't going to be upset if our kids develop the same perspective are we?

thecatneuterer · 09/06/2025 16:31

Praying4Peace · 09/06/2025 15:31

Call me old fashioned but derogatory all around and a bad example to your teenage daughter

Oh do give over 😂 (and you're using derogatory incorrectly)

Flashahah · 09/06/2025 16:31

Gloriia · 09/06/2025 16:22

You've just got to decide what your values are. If you think casual sex is ok then fine, don't be surprised or disappointed when your kids follow your lead.

Jesus how dare you preach to this poster!

You’re outrageous with your sanctimonious attitude!

minnienono · 09/06/2025 16:32

Sorry she knows, they are not stupid and pretty sure her friend knows too now. Just smile and say nothing.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.