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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner has left with no warning

231 replies

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:38

Hi all just need a hand hold or some advice really.
I've been with .my partner 2 years in general it's been good. However whenever we have a disagreement his reactions are always way over the top.
We have been away this weekend and have had a minor disagreement. His response has been to storm off block me on everything and not come home.
For context he doesn't come from my area and moved here a year or so ago so has nowhere to stay.
All his stuff is here including passport ,driving licence etc. He quite regularly storms off in huff's but not to this level. We have joint bills etc and now I have no way of contacting him. I have a DS and he's really bonded with him. Before when he's stormed off he hasn't been present but now he's aware of what is going on,and is really upset.
This isn't normal behaviour is it? Just feel so confused

OP posts:
groovylady · 05/05/2025 19:46

Omg.
Pack his shit into black bags and get him the hell away from your child!

SpryCat · 05/05/2025 20:32

Well done OP, I’m so glad you’re not going to put up with him x

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2025 22:42

46

that is almost unbelievable

sounds and acts like 6...

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 22:45

So for an update I have been told to bin all his stuff including passport and laptop ? Should I?

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 05/05/2025 22:46

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 22:45

So for an update I have been told to bin all his stuff including passport and laptop ? Should I?

No.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 05/05/2025 22:46

No. He will want you to replace both.
put both somewhere safe, or deliver to his place of work / a friend or even a relative of his.

and get a receipt !

Diarygirlqueen · 05/05/2025 22:48

No! Too much unnecessary drama. He's stormed off and relationship is over.
Pack up all his belongings and hopefully he'll come and collect them. If not, store them for a while and when things have cooled, make a decision.
No need to be destroying his belongings.

SheridansPortSalut · 05/05/2025 22:53

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 22:45

So for an update I have been told to bin all his stuff including passport and laptop ? Should I?

No! Ffs. Who told you that? That's a crazy thing to do and I can't believe that you even have to ask the question.

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 22:57

Sorry for clarity he has told me to !

OP posts:
Shadesofscarlett · 05/05/2025 22:57

i thought he had blocked you. Give his stuff to a friend or his parents or something - then block him for good.

Gyozas · 05/05/2025 22:58

Do not bin his stuff. He will then claim that you did it all to punish/spite him. Bag it snd drop it at his family/a friend. Inform him, through whomever is contacting you on his behalf, that you have done so. Then forget about him.

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 22:59

Hia family are 300 miles away so this isn't possible I have an email stating I can do this

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 05/05/2025 22:59

If he put it in writing then yes, I would because fuck him.
Or at least reply OK, will do, then block him.

PullTheBricksDown · 05/05/2025 23:00

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 22:59

Hia family are 300 miles away so this isn't possible I have an email stating I can do this

I'd just thumbs up emoji it. He's said that to get a reaction where you beg him to return. Don't give him the satisfaction.

PullTheBricksDown · 05/05/2025 23:02

I would go with your original plan and put it all in the shed for a few weeks. If he calms down and makes contact like an adult you can offer to return it to him. If not after a cooling off period then go ahead and bin it. But he's trying to upset you and or get you to chase after him for now. Deny him both those things.

TwistedWonder · 05/05/2025 23:05

PullTheBricksDown · 05/05/2025 23:00

I'd just thumbs up emoji it. He's said that to get a reaction where you beg him to return. Don't give him the satisfaction.

Show quote history

Totally agree. Reply with 👍 and don’t give him a reaction.

Bag his stuff up and keep it in the aged or somewhere. Don’t make any contact with him. If he wants his stuff, let him contact you.

Floralhousecoat · 05/05/2025 23:13

PullTheBricksDown · 05/05/2025 23:00

I'd just thumbs up emoji it. He's said that to get a reaction where you beg him to return. Don't give him the satisfaction.

Show quote history

Agree, this is your cue to start begging and pleading. Be strong, yes your son will be sad for a bit, but he's got an amazing mum who's putting him first so he'll be fine 🙂

And temporary sadness is a million times better than the permanent misery of living with such an awful twat. How on earth can anyone take this huffy drama llama seriously?? let alone be attracted to him. urgh

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 05/05/2025 23:14

SheridansPortSalut · 05/05/2025 22:53

No! Ffs. Who told you that? That's a crazy thing to do and I can't believe that you even have to ask the question.

Show quote history

The passport in particular- deliberately destroying someone else's passport would be an offence.

PullTheBricksDown · 05/05/2025 23:19

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 05/05/2025 23:14

The passport in particular- deliberately destroying someone else's passport would be an offence.

Show quote history

You could always post it back to a passport office and say you found it, or the holder left it behind and you can't contact them now. Then it's out of your hands and you've done nothing wrong.

Catoo · 05/05/2025 23:42

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 22:45

So for an update I have been told to bin all his stuff including passport and laptop ? Should I?

No he’s being dramatic to make you beg him to come back and discuss.

Pack the important things like the passport and laptop, drop them off at his work or post to his parents. Small price to pay to make sure he doesn’t come back. Maybe store anything else for a bit in your shed but I worry that if you see him you’ll end up getting back with him. As you already have 7 times before.

Also, change the locks just in case he got a key cut.

If you are lonely, plan some ways to meet new people so you can expand your social circle.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 05/05/2025 23:43

PullTheBricksDown · 05/05/2025 23:19

You could always post it back to a passport office and say you found it, or the holder left it behind and you can't contact them now. Then it's out of your hands and you've done nothing wrong.

Show quote history

Saying she found it is a lie. Lying about anything to do with a passport isn't a good idea. If never collects it, or provides an address she could return it to the Passport Office with that explanation.

CruCru · 05/05/2025 23:51

In that case, could you box it all up and take it to a police station? In a normal person, telling you to destroy his passport and laptop would be really concerning. If he has now blocked you again, they will still be able to get hold of him.

CruCru · 05/05/2025 23:53

My God, this man thrives on drama. I am now old (ish) and I will say run far, far away.

2JFDIYOLO · 06/05/2025 00:02

Don't bin his security docs - passport and driving licence are best posted to the relevant issuing offices. Tell them the truth about what he has done.

Copperoliverbear · 06/05/2025 00:15

Get rid of him, my first boyfriend was like this, they don’t change, they get worse.

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