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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner has left with no warning

231 replies

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:38

Hi all just need a hand hold or some advice really.
I've been with .my partner 2 years in general it's been good. However whenever we have a disagreement his reactions are always way over the top.
We have been away this weekend and have had a minor disagreement. His response has been to storm off block me on everything and not come home.
For context he doesn't come from my area and moved here a year or so ago so has nowhere to stay.
All his stuff is here including passport ,driving licence etc. He quite regularly storms off in huff's but not to this level. We have joint bills etc and now I have no way of contacting him. I have a DS and he's really bonded with him. Before when he's stormed off he hasn't been present but now he's aware of what is going on,and is really upset.
This isn't normal behaviour is it? Just feel so confused

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 05/05/2025 04:40

How do you see your relationship working with someone who can't have an argument without storming off?

How are you meant to resolve anything?

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:45

After this weekend I don't think I can just feel very flat . I've no family apart from DS so perhaps some of it is I'm scared to be alone.

OP posts:
BlueMorpho · 05/05/2025 04:45

I dated someone like this for a while. It was too much drama, I felt like I had another child. You need to prioritise your DS who needs stability. I'm assuming you're living together though? It's unlikely to improve.

MakeItToTheMoon · 05/05/2025 04:48

No definitely not normal behaviour! Storming off is one thing but then he blocks you off. What was this disagreement about?

How old is your son btw? It’s not healthy for him to watch your partner behave like this.

Is he controlling or manipulative in any other ways?

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:50

Yeah he lives with me . He's done it about 8 times now but this is most definitely the worst. We were away when he stormed off this time and I have no idea where he is or anything.
Messaged me to say he wanted his work stuff then sent another.message to say he didn't want it then blocked my number.
I'm unsure what to do next

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 05/05/2025 04:52

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:50

Yeah he lives with me . He's done it about 8 times now but this is most definitely the worst. We were away when he stormed off this time and I have no idea where he is or anything.
Messaged me to say he wanted his work stuff then sent another.message to say he didn't want it then blocked my number.
I'm unsure what to do next

Enjoy what's left of your holiday with your son.

Then when you get home tell him that if he does that again it's the last time. I'm guessing that he's training you to stop challenging him.

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:52

@MakeItToTheMoon DS is 8. The argument was about his DD who he does not see. I can't say too much as it would be very revealing.
He's not controlling on other ways just the huffs

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:54

@MiloMinderbinder925 we've already had that conversation and it's got me nowhere. A mutual friend messaged him and he said we were done and then took his Facebook down.

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 05/05/2025 04:56

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:54

@MiloMinderbinder925 we've already had that conversation and it's got me nowhere. A mutual friend messaged him and he said we were done and then took his Facebook down.

There you are. He's not going to stop so it looks like it's over. I'm sorry OP.

BlondiePortz · 05/05/2025 04:58

Why are you letting this around your child? just pack his stuff up tell him to collect it and put your child first - why do women need to keep on being told the same things? I dont care if this is needs to be sugar coated the message is obviously not getting there

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:58

Yeah I know it's just a huge over reaction. Not sure what to do with his stuff etc as I have no way of contacting him

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 05/05/2025 05:00

Confused225 · 05/05/2025 04:58

Yeah I know it's just a huge over reaction. Not sure what to do with his stuff etc as I have no way of contacting him

If you're in a hotel, leave it at reception.

BlueMorpho · 05/05/2025 05:01

Is it your house? If so pack his stuff, ask him to leave. TBH I wouldn't let him back in again. Change all bills back into your name.

MakeItToTheMoon · 05/05/2025 05:01

It’s a bit like a child throwing his toys out of a pram. He’s causing a big drama and also making you and your son feel emotionally unstable.

Even if he’s emotionally “triggered” by your disagreement, the reaction is excessive especially as he’s done the same to your friend and blocked them. It’s embarrassing for a grown man to behave like this.

The reaction is overboard! He most likely will cool off and come back but you should really reevaluate if this is what you want in life. The behaviour possibly may get worse and what would happen if you ever had a child with him?!

It’s all very attention seeking and he needs to grow up and work on this behaviour.

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 05:06

He's not a child either he's 46 . This is the first time DS has witnessed the huff and the fallout but it is once too many as it has really upset him. Hes asked where he is and if he's coming back and why he's just asked out.
Obviously I don't want my child seeing this.
He did this in previous relationships with both of his ex wives he openly admits he's huffy but this is next level

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 05:07

@BlueMorpho yeah it's my house

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 05/05/2025 05:08

You say no warning-but he has already done this 8 times in 2 years. That’s kind of a warning, isn’t it? You need him to leave and not come back. Do you have someone you trust and who loves you to stay with you for a while so that you don’t fall for whatever he’s done in the past to let him back? Are you frightened of him?

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 05:10

@CurlewKate no I'm not frightened of him. I don't really have anyone else my parents died a few years ago. I have two siblings but they live about 200 miles away from me so don't see them very often.
I think I'm scared of being alone ,which I know sounds pathetic.

OP posts:
Gettygrip · 05/05/2025 05:12

Both of his ex wives !!

user1492757084 · 05/05/2025 05:15

It seems that the relationship has run it's course, Op.
Pack his things out of your room, ready for him to collect, particularly his work stuff.
He needs to find a place to live and move out.
Have a goodbye chat but I would not entertain going out with him again without proof of him addressing his huffy out bursts with a professional.

Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 05:16

@Gettygrip yeah it's not great is it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused225 · 05/05/2025 05:17

@user1492757084 I can't contact him as I'm blocked on everything

OP posts:
Soonenough · 05/05/2025 05:20

Is there anything more unattractive than a petulant stroppy bloke. At 46 ?! What an immature arsehole he sounds. Really think about what he brings to your life and weigh it against the thoughts of tiptoeing around a man child that runs away when he doesn't like or agree with what you are saying to him.
He sounds like a total nightmare. And two wives have already got rid of him . Join them.

Boreded · 05/05/2025 05:24

@Confused225 priority 1) change your locks

itsnotachicken · 05/05/2025 05:25

Sounds exactly like my ex - same age, doesn't see his (my) DD and regularly didn't speak to me when we had arguments, the longest silence being a week. He couldn't storm out though as he had nowhere to stay. He was emotionally damaged and I was forever walking on eggshells and doing things/not saying things to avoid any of his drama. It's no way to live.

8 times in 2 years though? He's not going to miraculously change. Do the right thing and just end it. Do it for your son. You are saving him from growing up seeing all this and from him thinking this is what a normal relationship looks like. It isn't.

In some of my lowest times after I split up with my ex I used to give myself a pat on the back knowing I had 'saved' my DC from experiencing and growing up with ex's emotionally stunted behaviour and luckily they were too young to remember any of it.

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