Partner has left with no warning

[Confused225]

Hi all just need a hand hold or some advice really.
I've been with .my partner 2 years in general it's been good. However whenever we have a disagreement his reactions are always way over the top.
We have been away this weekend and have had a minor disagreement. His response has been to storm off block me on everything and not come home.
For context he doesn't come from my area and moved here a year or so ago so has nowhere to stay.
All his stuff is here including passport ,driving licence etc. He quite regularly storms off in huff's but not to this level. We have joint bills etc and now I have no way of contacting him. I have a DS and he's really bonded with him. Before when he's stormed off he hasn't been present but now he's aware of what is going on,and is really upset.
This isn't normal behaviour is it? Just feel so confused

What you do s to change the locks and leave all his stuff in bin bags by the front door - you can double bag them if you're feeling generous!
Then tomorrow morning, when he goes back to work after the bank holiday, you phone his HR dept, since you are blocked from contacting him directly and you ask them to pass on the message that his stuff will be in the garden one hour after he finishes work (assuming you have a private secure garden) and he can collect from there. Change any joint accounts/bills and get this complete manchild away from you and you own dc!
Honestly, any man is not better than no man and all the time you waste with this idiot, you cannot be finding someone who is actually good for you!

That's it OP, you were already alone as he could never be relied upon. And if you let him back he will wreck your DSs childhood. Take your power back.

I've been married over 20 years, that is not healthy nor normal. You shouldn't take him back because that's actually damaging for your son. Your son comes first, you should protect him from this I'd give his things to his friend, so he doesn't have an excuse to come back. I'd change the locks too. Do not allow him to return. I know you're scared to be alone, but you will meet someone better.

46. Texts then blocks. Deletes Facebook.

What the actual fuck is this? My teenager grew out of "omg I'm soooo blocking you" at 15.

Well done on deciding this can’t continue.

A nice walk and hot chocolate for you and your DS will distract him and I recommend changing the locks as quickly as you can.

I found the part about being long-term friends before being a couple very interesting as I’m sure that everyone else was always the problem (his parents, two exes etc) and now you know.

46 ????? I thought you were going to say 22.
He needs to grow up.
Dump. He’s not worth the drama.

@NOTANUM yeah everyone was always the problem. He spoke to his mum and dad until he moved up here and then all of a sudden stopped talking to them.
He owes them money which I've just discovered .
Be interesting to see what his ex wives had to say especially the second one

You've come to the right decision @Confused225 and I hope you can stay strong. He will no doubt be trying to get you to talk to him when he sees that you are not chasing after him, desperately trying to make contact.

He sounds extremely childish, probably more so than your actual child. I do understand you don't want to be alone but better to be single in the hope of meeting someone nice in future than stuck with this man-child. It's a form of emotional abuse to behave like this - having done it 8 times already you know it is a pattern and that it's only getting worse.

you sound very isolated, been there as well and it makes you so vulnerable to this shite. Being a single mum with mates is so much better than being stuck in a volatile and isolating relationship. I’m sure you’re in a lot of pain right now but if you can focus on building community around you whatever happens, you’ll be in a much stronger position.
this is also really good and may be helpful open.spotify.com/episode/1QLvXjD9YpYs3jXGNmNuA6?si=ngeGwhiNR0C9MDyj7SlpkQ

Sorry to hear this. You must feel absolutely gutted & super frustrated. I wonder why he had such a disproportionate reaction? He is clearly pained to the core to behave like that. Hope you get some closure soon whatever happens. My mum behaves similarly - she’s emotionally challenged so I understand how hard these people are to discuss things with. All rational behaviour goes out the window. Scream into a pillow and then try and have a nice morning.

Well done. Don't let yourself get pulled back in. As others have said he's been training you to not to react etc. Seen this first hand. It's manipulation. Don't be scared of being alone. That's what he playing on your vulnerability.You're not. You have your ds. Make join somewhere like Gingerbread if there's a local group like that for single parents.

He's done this 8 times in 2 years?
That's 4 times a year, every 3 months...
He's blocked his parents and he owes them money, he's scum.
End this for good before he gives your son abandonment issues.

Guarantee he will be back - he has nowhere to go. He'll be on best behaviour trying to get back into the house. Don't let him, please. For your son's sake.

I know you’re scared to be alone, but really remember how you’ve felt tonight when you’re tempted to give it another go.

This is having a negative impact on your child and your mental health. It cannot continue.

My ex used to do this, and when he came back (they always come back) I’d tie myself in knots trying to keep him happy so he didn’t do it again. I was walking on eggshells, and you will be too. He knows what he’s doing. It’s abusive behaviour.

Please end it and focus on building friendships and a support network. If you stay it will only get worse.

My DP was a huffer. I totally ignored the huffs, didn't acknowledge them, and then on a particularly bad one, which happened when we were away, explained that I couldn't see how a relationship would work if he huffed instead of talking things through.

The huffing ended thereafter. It turns out that huffing had worked a treat in every other relationship he had been in. If he held out long enough, his partners would always try to coax him back. His huffing worked. Teach him that huffing doesn't work. If he learns, fab. If not, bin. Life is too short for man baby shit

Whatever you do, do not forget how this has made you feel and do not let him back in when he inevitably gets over it and just wants to get back to normal.

His stuff is his problem. Pack it up so it's ready to go.

I had an ex like this and he was a complete twat in other ways too. I'm so glad for you and your son that you've seen through his shit tricks. He'll be back alright, expecting you to apologise. He can get to fuck.

Twice divorced
Doesn’t speak up his family
No contact with his DD
Owes people money
Throws tantrums and storms off like a child

Wow you really found yourself a price here!

Your fear of being single has made you desperate and you’ve ignored the huge red flags this man is waving in your face.

Thank your lucky stars he’s blocked you and DO NOT under any circumstances let him work his way back in. Being single is a million times better than having such a low bar to allow a man like this into your DS life.

Be honest, does he contribute fairly to your household financially and doing his fair share?

@Taytoface we've had a conversation about it. Sadly doesn't look like they have worked! Xx

Put it in bin bags. When he contacts you tell him it will be outside the house ready for collection at x time on x date.

He’s controlling you right now, you just don’t see it.

@TwistedWonder he does yeah so on that level I can't say much.

The trash has taken itself out. Rejoice! Change the locks, bag up his stuff, and enjoy your life without this controlling man-child (he’s 46? Jeez). You and your child deserve better.

Get rid. I grew up with one parent who used sulking and silent treatment as punishment and it was very damaging. Even now it affects how I deal with conflict and rejection in relationships and at times I've made very poor choices because of it.

Protect your son, don't let him grow up feeling like people can withdraw love in an instant.

The guy has no emotional maturity and there is no mileage in this relationship. His relationship history should indicate this. It’s a good thing he’s ended it as you can move on and find someone who isn’t such a knob.