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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband is the worst human that can ever exist

247 replies

baari · 03/05/2025 14:58

Currently stormed out of the house
we have a flight to catch tmrw and a billion things to do
needed his help to watch our toddler whilst she’s asleep I can go do some shopping but he’s left the house
stormed out because I asked him what should we do for dinner as there’s no food since we’re flying so fridge is empty. Said he’ll go grab some frozen meals and I said or we can take our toddler to soft play and she can eat there. Then he got annoyed and said If you already have something in mind then why ask me. I explained it was just a suggestion like his idea. Started to swear at me because my tone changed and he apparently hates if I speak with an angry tone. Said he’ll physically kick me out of the house. Proceeded to say f*ck a few more times at me and swear. Then said he wants to Divorce. Then said he never wants to buy a house because why buy a house if he’s planning on divorcing. Then I said you don’t have enough money for A down payment anywya. Financially he stresses me out. Has zero savings. Not sure what he wastes his money on. I earn less than him but have more savings. Whenever I mention this he says he doesn’t have savings because how much he spends on us as a family. That is fAr from the truth I do half rent and most groceries and swimming and nursery for our toddler and he does bills and we both share council tax. Now he’s stormed out after he went out for two hours this morning. I really need to go get my eyebrows done.
I feel so low like how could this happen to me? Just a normal nice husband was all I’d wanted and gotten this twat of a man

OP posts:
MyOliveHelper · 03/05/2025 14:59

You both sound really stressed

Reidwood · 03/05/2025 15:02

@baari stand up to him..don’t let him put you down….he clearly has no consideration or feelings for you both….holiday or not…you need to start thinking abt life away from him for yiur sake and your child! Do t feel you are alone…I’m here , many of us are here to listen , support and offer advice✊🏿

MayWelland · 03/05/2025 15:04

sorry this has turned out like this OP.

Agree with pp, you both sound stressed and knackered. Can you get some time together and take a bit of a break away from the drudgery of domestic life and childcare? Could someone watch your LO while you go out for lunch or something?

Either way, you need to be kinder to each other and stop keeping score, and the only way to do that is to reconnect.

If it’s really that bad, then leave, of course, but it sounds like maybe you both just need a break

Namechangedforgoodreasons · 03/05/2025 15:07

I was feeling really sympathetic, despite being irritated by your heading, until you got to the eyebrows… Hardly vital.

Blackdow · 03/05/2025 15:07

You both sound quite shitty. I actually 100% agree with him about asking someone what they want to do when you already have an idea, instead of just saying your idea. It’s one of the most irritating things to be asked for a solution, give one and then get, “Oh actually, I think…” as a reply. Just say what you want to do. It sounds like you do it a lot and he is fed up of it.

The rest, however, is not great. He sounds pretty awful, you sound argumentative. You don’t sound like you enjoy each other, you both sound unhappy and you probably should go through with the separation. You sound very very unsuited and stressed and miserable.

Azandme · 03/05/2025 15:10

You don't like each other much, do you.

Whatahardlife · 03/05/2025 15:10

Even if OP's H is stressed there is no excuse for this massive over reaction. Definitely no excuse for the language he has used and threat of violence.

He sounds an abusive angry man.

And there is obviously more going on given what OP has said about finances.

When you get back from this holiday OP you need to have a good think about the state of your marriage and decide what is best for you and your child.

Whatahardlife · 03/05/2025 15:13

I can't understand the way pp are glossing over the fact he threatened to physically kick her out the house.

And the number of pp who are turning this on to OP as though it's her fault.

I don't know what is happening on MN lately that posters are apparently on the side of male aggression. It's unbelievable.

TheMathofLoveTriangles · 03/05/2025 15:17

Both stressed but also probably just not right for each other

Original poster
baari · 03/05/2025 15:18

Namechangedforgoodreasons · 03/05/2025 15:07

I was feeling really sympathetic, despite being irritated by your heading, until you got to the eyebrows… Hardly vital.

It’s important for me to get them done as I don’t normally get a chance to get them threaded or waxed and I can’t do them at home as their quite thick. Esp before holiday like it’s one bit of prep I try to do. Otherwise going away with hairy eyebrows just mentally makes me feel not great.
but I obvs to do that I thought he’d be home so I could go. So that’s why their vital to me

OP posts:
Anyonefoundmysparesock · 03/05/2025 15:19

There is clearly more to this. And you two sound like neither of you like one another anymore.

Your eyebrows can wait.

Dont put your toddler through this stress as it changes a child forever to be caught up in this. The holiday will not go well if this is how you two are with each other at home. Arguments and stress dont go on holiday. You both sound like neither of you know how to communicate anymore.

SheldonandAmyFarahFowler · 03/05/2025 15:20

I’m guessing your title to this thread is tongue in cheek as there are definitely worse husbands spoken about on MN

Azandme · 03/05/2025 15:20

Did you swear back?

Original poster
baari · 03/05/2025 15:21

Azandme · 03/05/2025 15:20

Did you swear back?

No i don’t normally swear it’s not in my general personality.
plus once i did swear at him and he became quite angry

OP posts:
Tooshytoshine · 03/05/2025 15:22

Yep, going on holiday with a toddler is stressful.

You will be okay once you are away, it is just the getting there that is hard.

Sounds like he lost his temper and said reactive, hurtful things. Whether you are meant to stay together or not, I have no idea. Arguments are never anyone's finest moment.

Chances are he will come back and apologise, he gracious and pick a moment when you are both relaxed to have a grown up discussion about all the stressors that came out in the argument - money, buying a house, mental load, domestic share and inequality finances...

BorderTerrierTimesThree · 03/05/2025 15:25

Do you still want to go on holiday with him? Can you and your child go alone for some space?

Blackdow · 03/05/2025 15:26

Whatahardlife · 03/05/2025 15:13

I can't understand the way pp are glossing over the fact he threatened to physically kick her out the house.

And the number of pp who are turning this on to OP as though it's her fault.

I don't know what is happening on MN lately that posters are apparently on the side of male aggression. It's unbelievable.

Edited

It’s not been glossed over. They’re both shitty. His bad behaviour doesn’t wipe out the OP’s. Her behaviour doesn’t wipe out his. They’re both being shitty.

skirtingcurtain · 03/05/2025 15:26

You both sound like you dislike each other tbh.

WorthyOtter · 03/05/2025 15:27

Sounds like he's caused an argument on purpose to storm out. Does he do that often?

rubyslippers · 03/05/2025 15:27

I’d go on holiday without him
he can then pack up and leave can’t hE?
swearing sounds horrible - does he often do that? And does he often threaten divorce?
i couldn’t live how you describe
you have a job and money - do you even want to stay?
your poor kid as well

skirtingcurtain · 03/05/2025 15:28

You are both in that cycle of antagonising each other.

Whatahardlife · 03/05/2025 15:29

baari · 03/05/2025 15:18

It’s important for me to get them done as I don’t normally get a chance to get them threaded or waxed and I can’t do them at home as their quite thick. Esp before holiday like it’s one bit of prep I try to do. Otherwise going away with hairy eyebrows just mentally makes me feel not great.
but I obvs to do that I thought he’d be home so I could go. So that’s why their vital to me

Show quote history

You made the dreaded mistake of mentioning your eyebrows OP.

For some reason some posters are now going to focus on your eyebrows and forget all about your H's bad behaviour. Somehow wanting to get your eyebrows done before you go on holiday is
unforgiveable.

I really don't understand some of the unsympathetic unpleasant responses you are getting .

He obviously has real anger management issues.

Blueskies25 · 03/05/2025 15:30

baari · 03/05/2025 14:58

Currently stormed out of the house
we have a flight to catch tmrw and a billion things to do
needed his help to watch our toddler whilst she’s asleep I can go do some shopping but he’s left the house
stormed out because I asked him what should we do for dinner as there’s no food since we’re flying so fridge is empty. Said he’ll go grab some frozen meals and I said or we can take our toddler to soft play and she can eat there. Then he got annoyed and said If you already have something in mind then why ask me. I explained it was just a suggestion like his idea. Started to swear at me because my tone changed and he apparently hates if I speak with an angry tone. Said he’ll physically kick me out of the house. Proceeded to say f*ck a few more times at me and swear. Then said he wants to Divorce. Then said he never wants to buy a house because why buy a house if he’s planning on divorcing. Then I said you don’t have enough money for A down payment anywya. Financially he stresses me out. Has zero savings. Not sure what he wastes his money on. I earn less than him but have more savings. Whenever I mention this he says he doesn’t have savings because how much he spends on us as a family. That is fAr from the truth I do half rent and most groceries and swimming and nursery for our toddler and he does bills and we both share council tax. Now he’s stormed out after he went out for two hours this morning. I really need to go get my eyebrows done.
I feel so low like how could this happen to me? Just a normal nice husband was all I’d wanted and gotten this twat of a man

How long have ye been together and how long has he been like this

Whatahardlife · 03/05/2025 15:32

Blackdow · 03/05/2025 15:26

It’s not been glossed over. They’re both shitty. His bad behaviour doesn’t wipe out the OP’s. Her behaviour doesn’t wipe out his. They’re both being shitty.

Show quote history

Sorry but please explain how OP's behaviour was " shitty" .

Original poster
baari · 03/05/2025 15:32

Blackdow · 03/05/2025 15:26

It’s not been glossed over. They’re both shitty. His bad behaviour doesn’t wipe out the OP’s. Her behaviour doesn’t wipe out his. They’re both being shitty.

Show quote history

i don’t fully understand what my bad behaviour was. I’m happy to be informed.
was it asking him for a suggestion and then also suggesting something? He’s sworn, shouted, threatened divorce, and stormed out the house and left me with my toddler.

OP posts: