My husband is the worst human that can ever exist

[baari]

Currently stormed out of the house
we have a flight to catch tmrw and a billion things to do
needed his help to watch our toddler whilst she’s asleep I can go do some shopping but he’s left the house
stormed out because I asked him what should we do for dinner as there’s no food since we’re flying so fridge is empty. Said he’ll go grab some frozen meals and I said or we can take our toddler to soft play and she can eat there. Then he got annoyed and said If you already have something in mind then why ask me. I explained it was just a suggestion like his idea. Started to swear at me because my tone changed and he apparently hates if I speak with an angry tone. Said he’ll physically kick me out of the house. Proceeded to say f*ck a few more times at me and swear. Then said he wants to Divorce. Then said he never wants to buy a house because why buy a house if he’s planning on divorcing. Then I said you don’t have enough money for A down payment anywya. Financially he stresses me out. Has zero savings. Not sure what he wastes his money on. I earn less than him but have more savings. Whenever I mention this he says he doesn’t have savings because how much he spends on us as a family. That is fAr from the truth I do half rent and most groceries and swimming and nursery for our toddler and he does bills and we both share council tax. Now he’s stormed out after he went out for two hours this morning. I really need to go get my eyebrows done.
I feel so low like how could this happen to me? Just a normal nice husband was all I’d wanted and gotten this twat of a man

Agree.
Why are they together and puttting that poor child through living in a toxic atmosphere.

TBH if I were asked what to do about dinner and my answer was rebutted with "or we could go to softplay" I too would be like "then WTF did you ask me for??"

OP, I’m so sorry, you are getting the most awful replies on here. It doesn’t sound like you are both being shitty, it sounds like he is a shit. Threatening to throw you out of the house and get divorced because you made a suggestion about dinner is awful. You’re allowed to get your eyebrows done, by the way. It sounds to me as though you probably would be better off without him, and I’d have a good think about that. And again, I’m really sorry about the awful replies.

I think he sounds like a massive twat and you should leave after holliday.

I agree some of the women on here are complete bitches in their responses to other women

Fairly sure Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Ghengis Khan are up there vying for ‘worst human who ever lived’ status. Not sure your DH would even make the longlist, really.

The op has savings. Why shouldn't she get her brows done?

You e reached the stage of petty squabbling where you both find that everything about each other is irritating.

There's no coming back from the 'Can't stand each other' phase which will quickly turn into 'I hate you'.

He sounds unpleasant but can see his point of view not wanting to eat at a child's play area where the food is awful.

You also seem more concerned about your eyebrows than your relationship.

@Theroadt - jeez your a real womens woman aren't you. Now patronising suggesting the OP is being OTT 😳

I hope you are okay OP.

You shouldn't have to explain your regarding getting your eyebrows done...you needed your partner to watch the toddler until you get something done and he storms out.

I would be irritated by this as well.

Maybe you both need some couples counselling to work on the relationship, especially since he is now threatening with divorce

They’re going on holiday. Why is this unreasonable ?

Thankfully my toddler was having a nap through this.
i really didn’t mean to do what I said. It really was just a suggestion. I didn’t have any preference one over the other. I just said an alternative to give an other option because he was planning to take toddler to softplay anyway this afternoon

Going on holiday (or more precisely, prepping to go on holiday) is horrible. You're both stressed. And let's be honest, we've all been in those moments where we've argued with one another and said things that are designed to hurt. But you do need to nip it in the bud, both of you, for the sake of your little one. Maybe get yourself on holiday and see how things are once you're there and can relax?

You both sound stressed and absolutely ridiculous. You are playing the point scoring game which never has any winners.

You asked him what do for dinner when you had pretty much decided about soft play. Why go to soft play of you've got so much to do.

You both need to cop on if you want to continue in this marraige.

Whether it is vital or not to you, op made an appointment and wanted to get her eyebrows done before going away. There is no need to be so nasty!

Whether or not that's a priority for you is immaterial. It's a priority for OP, but her husband thinks it's ok to storm off and escalate.
Your husband sounds immature, reactive and unpleasant, OP. 😞

Edited to add that I was supposed to be responding to people belittling OP for wanting to get her brows done.

I also suspect you are both stressed and are on edge with each other. I think you both need to sit down together and agree to go on holiday and have a fresh start.

But, without wishing to side with your husband, because he was also very unreasonable, I once absolutely blew up at my own, very lovely, kind husband as he has a habit of saying something like, "What would you like to do today" or "Where do you fancy going on holiday" and I reply and he then says "Oh, but I was looking into it and thought we could do / go to...." He means it kindly but aaaaghhhhh... Don't ask me, just say, "How about we...?". Don't give me a choice if you are going to have already decided what you want to do!!

Tbh if you have a "billion" things to do then taking a kid out to eat seems a bit daft.

Might as well just pick them something up whilst getting stuff for yourselves I would have thought.

When it descends to swearing, threats & point scoring though then have things run their course?

Is he normally like this? As annoying as it is when someone asks what to do then suggests something different, his reaction sounds wild. If he's usually helpful in preparing stuff for holidays etc, with your child, not nasty to you and this is out of character then imo it's quite different to him always being awful.

I asked him what should we do for dinner as there’s no food since we’re flying so fridge is empty. Said he’ll go grab some frozen meals and I said or we can take our toddler to soft play and she can eat there. Then he got annoyed and said If you already have something in mind then why ask me. I explained it was just a suggestion like his idea

I do think it's a bit annoying to be asked what to do for dinner, you suggest something and then your wife says "or can we...." meaning she'd had that idea all along. It might have been better to just say "Could you please take toddler to soft play and she can eat there because there's no food in or do you have another idea we could do?". What you actually did was shut down his suggestion because yours was better (seen from his perspective).

However, I suspect that even if you had phrased it the way I've written above he'd have kicked off about that too.
Everything he has done after you suggested the soft play has been well out of order and deliberately picking a fight.

Does he do this everytime you go on holiday? My ex used to do this. Every bloody time. He'd get stressed getting ready and because he'd wouldn't be going out drinking with his mates for 2 weeks while we were on holiday he'd deliberately pick a fight with me over nothing, storm out of the house blaming me and then go and get pissed with his friends, come back at 2 am saying he was sorry and blahblah, crash out and then wake up the next morning with a stinking hangover and then do fuck all but moan until it was time to get in the car and leave and of course we couldn't share the driving because he was still over the limit. Every fucking time.

I suspect your DH is like my ex.

Oh no I think it’s misinterpreted
he doesn’t have any issue with softplay. That’s why I suggested as he was planning to take her there this afternoon. It wasn’t me telling him to do that at all. It was just me saying here’s another option. She usually has home cooked meals three times a day

Sounds like he created the argument to skive off. Probably can’t be bothered to take her out so saw this as an opportunity to storm out and leave her with you.

Just do the packing for you and DD. Sort dinner for you and DD and hope he decides not to go on the holiday so you and your DD can enjoy it.

Oh and call his bluff on the divorce otherwise he’ll throw that at you during every argument going forward.

In all honesty OP he sounds like a low grade twat ! I would rather work my arse off on my own than put up with someone like this in life who resorts to the ‘divorce’ every time you don’t go along with him or dare make more than one suggestion

on the other hand I’ve got a friend who cannot go away anywhere without a very strict agenda of what she has to do - eyebrows, spray tan, nails - god knows what- now whilst I’m all for self care it really isn’t essential or anything to get in a fizz about - have them done whilst away if you want -

I would have a good think when you get back about if this is really what you want and if it’s a one off or the general vibe as it sounds a bit rubbish

I don’t know why people think you shouldn’t have your own idea - in my world this just creates a conversation. One of you says the alternative and either it’s a great idea or- oh yes let’s do that and after soft play she will sleep better or may suggest they would rather not and either way it’s a non issue. It would never necessitate swearing at someone, threatening them and talking of divorce. I would give the arse what he wants on that last one.

I really need to go get my eyebrows done.

Honestly OP, that's the least of your problems.

That poor child growing up in an atmosphere like that.

Take time on your holiday to think about how you can get your ducks in a row.

Without telling him of course!!

He sounds awful.

Looks like you haven't read OP's post properly, or don't really know what berating means. 😂 OP wasn't being shitty. The husband is overreacting, possibly to get out of the work involved in preparing for the trip. There's absolutely nothing wrong in OP wanting to get her eyebrows done before a trip either.