My husband is the worst human that can ever exist

[baari]

Currently stormed out of the house
we have a flight to catch tmrw and a billion things to do
needed his help to watch our toddler whilst she’s asleep I can go do some shopping but he’s left the house
stormed out because I asked him what should we do for dinner as there’s no food since we’re flying so fridge is empty. Said he’ll go grab some frozen meals and I said or we can take our toddler to soft play and she can eat there. Then he got annoyed and said If you already have something in mind then why ask me. I explained it was just a suggestion like his idea. Started to swear at me because my tone changed and he apparently hates if I speak with an angry tone. Said he’ll physically kick me out of the house. Proceeded to say f*ck a few more times at me and swear. Then said he wants to Divorce. Then said he never wants to buy a house because why buy a house if he’s planning on divorcing. Then I said you don’t have enough money for A down payment anywya. Financially he stresses me out. Has zero savings. Not sure what he wastes his money on. I earn less than him but have more savings. Whenever I mention this he says he doesn’t have savings because how much he spends on us as a family. That is fAr from the truth I do half rent and most groceries and swimming and nursery for our toddler and he does bills and we both share council tax. Now he’s stormed out after he went out for two hours this morning. I really need to go get my eyebrows done.
I feel so low like how could this happen to me? Just a normal nice husband was all I’d wanted and gotten this twat of a man

I think you are being OTT. Possibly because you are tired and stressed - but maybe he is, too. I think you need to calm down a bit - eyebrows not really important part of going on hol.

My first thought was cheating, some woman is putting pressure on him to leave. He’s trying to be a dick so you tell him to leave so he can feel less bad.

my dad cheated on my mum and behaved like this beforehand. But he ended up not leaving.

go on holiday without him.

He picked a fight so he didn't have to do any of the grunt work. He'll be expecting it all to be magically done for when he gets back and waits for your apology.

Leave the fucker behind.

This surely can’t be the first time he has behaved like this, has he form

He sounds very abusive, threatening to physically chuck you out of the house, he was looking for an argument by the sounds of it and turned the blame on you because your tone changed? Yet he can sear and threaten you?? I don’t care how stressed he is, the resentment he feels, saying he wants a divorce and then leaving the house for you to sort out everything yourself is immature. I’d be worried how he’d react when your toddler gets older and plays him up because your H has anger issues.

Look if you were that busy you wouldn’t be on here

Suggest you get your eyes done at the airport or take the toddler with you

Make sure your savings are well protected.
Go on holiday with your dc. If he tags along be icily pleasant.
Rethink when you get home. I can’t see how a couple of ideas of what to eat and where can suddenly be divorce unless there’s an underlying problem.

No excuses for his behaviour towards you.
But this also sounds very disorganised leading to unnecessary stress. You have many jobs to do in advance of your flight and in addition to eyebrows and shopping you also want to take your child to a soft play so she can eat. Feed your child at home. It sounds chaotic.

I was gonna ask him if he wants to take her out because I find it easier to do jobs if she’s outside.

Well is this usual or unusual behaviour for him?

"Then I said you don’t have enough money for A down payment anywya."

😂

I like a good burn.

Does he always get verbally abusive and have a tantrum and threaten divorce when things don't go his way? It sounds like you should take him up on his offer of divorce.

Grow your brows. Use a nice brow gel.

You both sound stressed. There is no excuse for the extremity of his reaction, but were you in any way goading him?
I can understand you might have felt resentment that he is not pulling his weight with the numerous holiday preparations needed for a family, but if you needed him to look after your child whilst you went shopping why didn’t you just plan to pick up an easy ready meal whilst there?
What he said and threatened though was wholly unacceptable and disproportionate to anything you said to him and I hope he is thoroughly ashamed of himself.

He knows that already.

I agree with a PP that he was picking a fight deliberately so he didn't have to do prep for your trip.

I had one of these husbands, to the extent that he "lost" his passport before our second holiday together. He hadn't and we did go online the holiday.
He turned out to be abusive - think picking me up and throwing me across a room, so I ended up with a black eye and couldn't go to work for a week.
Luckily we had no children.
Dump him OP. It will not get any better.

I have a friend who does this - asks me what I would like to eat/do. I make a suggestion. Then says what she would like and when I say, oh sure let's do that then she goes all stupid and says, no, no, you want to do xxx we can do that if you prefer.
So we end up with me 'persuading' her to do what she suggested and if others are involved she then plays the 'I hope everyone enjoys this - it was xxxx's idea'.
It is fucking tiresome.
Just start off saying what you want.

Take the toddler to get your eyebrows and shopping done

Rethink the marriage

At this point I think you just need to carry on prepping for your holiday and if doesn’t want to go then go on your own with your DS.

Does he normally threaten you with divorce when things don’t go his way? If he’s done it more than once I’d take him up on his offer. My DH said the same just after we’d got married, I told him if he ever did it again rid help him pack a bag. That was 15 years ago and he’s never done it since. It’s a shitty thing to threaten and smacks of him saying it to get his own way

Yet another awesome relationship on MN.

You’re both Being ratty because you’re going on holiday, it’s a bit like getting a divorce or buying a house it’s really stressful

Well no. He isn't the worst man to ever exist. I can tell you about my father for starters, but even he pales in comparison to a very, very long list.

Your DH doesn't like you. He was strategic in what he did. He didn't want to help. He behaves like my sister getting g out of drying the dishes when we were 10 and 12.

You need to decide whether you even want to be in a relationship with him. It certainly isn't a healthy environment for children to be in.

How long exactly have you thoroughly disliked each other, @baari ?

It will be easier for people to advise if they know whether this is a one-off or business as usual.

You’re berating him for no savings whilst whining that you can’t get your eyebrows done before you go on holiday 😂

Based on the scene you've described and what seems to be happening in the background, I agree you should divorce. Sorry.

Either go on holiday with DC and without him, or go together and try to discuss a civilised divorce while you're away. Nobody needs to be 'blamed' these days, it's simply that this relationship isn't working for the people in it.

Why’s she being shitty? I’m not getting that at all.