My DH wants me to share my location with him

[1457bloom]

Do you think this is a red flag? I feel it’s an invasion of my privacy.

There's no right or wrong as such and loads of couples take different approaches. Some share all the time because it's useful in some way or they just like to. Others don't. DH and I don't because we just don't need to and I'd feel the same as you but we'll do it on occasion, like if I'm walking home from the train station in the dark late at night, so he knows I'm on the way and safe.

It really comes down to the dynamics of your relationship and crucially, why he wants you to do it. But you're not wrong not to want it.

He can ask, you can say no.
I don't because I'm not a small child or a possession and agree with you.
DH would prefer it but it's not up for discussion.

What's his reason and is this a new request?

I think it's a potential big red flag.

I know some couples who genuinely seem to use it for practical/logistical reasons such as knowing how far from home they are to get dinner ready/kids ready to run out for a club etc.

If you don’t feel comfortable with it that’s completely fair. What reason has he given for wanting it?

I think it’s an odd thing to ask of an adult. Very intrusive

Depends in the context of your own marriage. Only you would know if there's other red flags to make this one a concern too. In this day and age with all the awful things happening out there, if DH asked for my location I'd know it's coming from a place of care and I'd be fine with it. Nothing would make me think it's a red flag because I don't view my husband that way and know what his intentions are. The fact that you're questioning it makes me think there's more to it in your relationship?

If I say no he might get upset and think I’m up to no good. I just like some privacy.

It’s not that i particularly want to know where my dh is all the time.. I don’t even look unless I’ve tried to call and want to know when to get dinner ready for.. but id be surprised if he didn’t want to share his location with me.. I’d find it odd.

I wouldn’t like this. Why has he asked?

I think it's creepy and weird.
Red flag would be if you say no and he's funny with you about it.

He says he wants to make sure I am safe and know where I am in case something happens to me. I think he is being protective in a way.

The question is why? If it’s so he can see where you are so he can give you a lift home or practical reasons like that, that’s fine. If it’s because he doesn’t trust you, and wants to keep tabs on you, that’s not fine.

We share with each other because it was easier than asking if he's on his way or how far off are you or where shall I meet you etc. I do find it practical.

I can't remember which of us suggested it but it was always to share with each other rather than just one of us tracking the other which would be weird. I think it depends on how he's asking and for what purpose.

What’s the context here?

Is he prepared to share his location with you as well or does he only. Want to see yours?

When DC was younger I insisted on seeing their location but it was a two way street so my location was available as well. And when I was rushed to hospital by ambulance DC was able to use that location to see where I’d been taken.

I’m currently back in hospital and we’ve always continued to share locations, and now I can see when DC gets home late at night after working. Similarly my DP - he does a lot outside of home so I can see if he’s back so I can call him.

Nothing sinister or creepy about it.

Would he also share his with you? Has he offered? If not, why not?

DH cares very much about my safety, will come and pick me up late at night etc, but we don't share locations with one another. I wouldn't like to and would never ask for it from him. I am an adult and don't want to feel my movements are being routinely monitored, even for a good reason.

I'm a sharer... as others have said, it's more for practical reasons. I commute, and my partner is very into fitness/running, so it's handy to know when we're going to be back for dinner preparation.

'Personally', I'm the exact opposite to you. I'm married, so what secrets would I have? What privacy do I need? If either of us are out with friends/family, who cares if they know?

It's like sharing your phone... Unless it's after an argument where you're having a moan to your best friend, there's nothing on my phone I'd be worried about my partner seeing.

Calling to ask "How long are you going to be? I'm going to put the chops in the oven now" is as far as DP and I will ever come to "tracking" each other. If they don't answer, that's life and dinner stays in the oven being kept warm 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would never ask and I would never agree. Maybe it's an age thing? We're mid to late 40's and have managed so far without needing the other to monitor our movements.

Potentially you might compromise by turning it on for certain situations (walking home on a dodgy route, maybe long car journeys?) but it’s not really like you can predict an accident. Maybe it would be useful if you frequently lose your phone? I wouldn’t want to do it.

'Protective' can be a cover word. What's making him feel you need to be protected all of a sudden.

Look, only you know a) whether you're happy to be tracked and b) what he's like overall.

Is he suggesting you track him too? Because he's at risk of assault too.

Does he share his location with you?

Do you have access to his whereabouts?

OK, this update is a big red flag.

Why would he get upset?
Why would he assume you're up to no good?

We share locations because we have a family group on Life 360, which enables us both to track our pre-teen when he’s out on his own/with friends.

We could turn off the location sharing for ourselves, but I only really do that if I’m going somewhere I don’t want them to know about, like to pick up a birthday present or something! I find it handy being able to see when DH will get home, and if he’s away for work it’s nice to be able to show the kids where Daddy is.

We have family sharing on so all of us can see the others-DH and me included-it's really useful.

My wife and I have discussed this a few times as she struggles with anxiety and likes to message a lot. I'm not a big messenger and it's distracting if I'm in traffic and she's worrying. But we've always come back to both finding it a bit weird and uncomfortable as you could sit there stalking each other. So we decided not. I think it's ok to discuss and the worry would be if you feel uncomfortable or frightened to say no. That would be the line for me