My DH wants me to share my location with him

[1457bloom]

Do you think this is a red flag? I feel it’s an invasion of my privacy.

Excellent post there, @1457bloom . Please read and re-read category 12's advice, because this stuff will come up again and again in your relationship.

My husband, son & I share our locations with each other.
We do it purely from a practical point of view. Husband & son work many miles from home, so for me I can see where they are in terms of getting home to make sure kettle is on, dinner is ready etc.
Was particularly useful when our son was involved in an accident with a deer, he was really shaken up, didn't know exactly where he was on the dual carriageway, but we could pinpoint him on google maps and were able to get to him quickly..
We have no trust issues, we don't stalk each other, it just helps in a practical way.

Unless the location app also comes with a free chastity belt it's not even going to stop that 😀

Yeah, we do Life 360 too. It's not an issue for either of us but there is no one rule that would work in every relationship.

We share locations because we want to.

It’s not ‘endearing’ and if you need to give up your privacy to prove you’re not cheating on him because he’s paranoid and believes the worst of you, he’s a cunt. Sorry.

But, apparently, he can imagine that you would. In other words, he has a much lower opinion of you than you have of him.

Wake up.

Good point from other posters about whether he'd be looking at it all the time and checking up on you. There's a big difference between having it there just in case somethig bad were to happen, and constantly checking your whereabouts.

He wants you to share your location. So he's not said 'i'd like us to share our location with each other'? And he has a problem with jealousy. I don't think sharing your location is going to help. It'll just ramp up the jealousy and questions.

The main thing is, YOU DON'T WANT TO SHARE YOUR LOCATION WITH HIM. If that's how you feel, that's all that matters. If he doesn't respect that, you've got a problem. I'd personally hate to location-share with a partner. I can see my daughter's location for safety reasons. But I think it has the potential to cause a lot of jealousy and interrogation (depending on the state of the relationship). It's not necessary. You're a grown woman 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's just going to use it as a "gotcha!" tool. I predict it will go something like this:

Him: What did you get up to today?
You: Work, popped to the gym and grabbed dinner from Sainsbury's, nothing too exciting.
Him: Nothing else?
You: No
Him: Well apparently you were in that coffee shop in town for half an hour, you obviously didn't want me to tell me about that for some reason...

Phone calls aren’t practical in all situations. If one or both of you don’t have your phones with you all the time or are not able to use them while working, for example.

No, it'll make him obsessive. He'll start questioning you where you have been if it glitches, which it does sometimes and puts you places youve just passed briefly.

Not if he's jealous. Absolutely not.

I wouldn't like it, nothing to hide just find it a bit odd needing to know where someone is. The big thing that's stands out about you as you are worried about not sharing, that's not good and maybe needs a further look at your relationship.

How would that be helpful then as you wouldn't have your phone so your location wouldn't be accurate? Why would someone need to track your location whilst you are working? Surely they know your working times and if you are going to be late I'm sure you could message in your break etc....

No no no.
When someone is anxious, giving them more knowledge and control over your whereabouts doesn't appease the anxiety. It feeds it. It promotes them checking constantly, over-analysing, questioning anything out of the ordinary, obsessing.
I will admit that I'm strongly against location-sharing in general and perhaps overly so - for me it's an ideological position really. But I am also very confident in saying it does not alleviate anxiety and jealousy.

I personally have my husband, mum, dad and sister on Google maps. I find it helpful and not intrusive or a trust issue at all.
Why don't you want him to see where you are?

I share my location with my husband and children, as does he. He travels a lot for work and it’s useful if we’re picking him up from the station or he’s on his way back from the airport etc.
We don’t check it that often but the children sometimes like to see where DH is when he’s abroad.
None of us mind and we certainly don’t feel like we’re being monitored. We’ve just about got to the stage where we’re able to have the odd night/day or two away without the children (range from primary to adult age) and they find it reassuring to be able to see where we are if they need to.
I suppose it all depends on your relationship or family dynamics.

I think OP has already answered this. She values her freedom. People shouldn't have to justify why they don't want to share their locations - that is the 'if you've got nothing to hide you've got nothing to fear' argument and is exactly how the erosion of freedom gets justified. Her DH has form for jealousy - is it a good idea to let a jealous person have total knowledge of your whereabouts at all times? I think not.

I've recently thought of asking my DH for us to do this for safety purposes - I come home from work late at night sometimes, for example and DH could make sure I am safely making my way home. Also I am anxious so worry about DH driving, which he does long distances often. If he said no I would understand as it is a bit of a grey area even in my mind. It really depends on the reason and both parties have to be respectful of how the other feels about it.

It's absolutely an invasion of your privacy, and if my husband asked this of me I'd make my feelings very clear!
(I'd probably also think he'd been kidnapped by aliens, because never in a hundred years would he make such a request).
You are entitled to your independence and privacy, as is he.

We have always shared location, I have nothing to hide and couldn’t care less if he knows where I am (and visa versa). It was so helpful when I broke down before Christmas and I wasn’t quite sure where I was. I am often 3-4 hours away from home with work, home late/driving in the dark. DH was able to call the AA with the exact detail.

However, I know I could have said ‘no I am not sharing’ without repercussions or any issues. Neither of us are jealous I just like the back up of someone being aware something maybe up if I am really late home from work.

Exactly this. All this "safety" stuff is completely illogical.
Also, I'm not a wilting flower - I can keep myself safe!

Don't you have sat nav? And why did he call them instead of you?

We share, it's fine. Mostly not used. But every update you post rings more alarm bells for me. I bet if you do share, you will v quickly be getting calls "why are you spending so long in the coffee shop, who are you with?" Etc etc.