My DH wants me to share my location with him

[1457bloom]

Do you think this is a red flag? I feel it’s an invasion of my privacy.

I have a very hypocritical standpoint on this because I wouldn’t share my location with a partner but I do share it with my kids. Reason I wouldn’t with a partner is due to bad experience as he was using my location to ensure I didn’t catch him abusing my child.

I like having my kids locations because they are useless at remembering to text me if they are out drinking and I worry. Especially when my son travels back to uni by train; i always tell him to message me when he’s home safe but he invariably forgets. This way I know he’s ok and got home safe. They have my location too as I do think it has to be equal. I can’t expect them, as adults, to share their location with me if I’m not doing the same. I have been known to turn it off when I went to dominos one night after work as I knew my son would spot it and start asking for pizza

We find it super helpful, that said I barely look at DH’s location. Perhaps a couple of times a fortnight.

I sometimes check when to start tea or not to ring him if he’s driving.

@1457bloom id be asking him now precisely him knowing where you are keeps you safe op. I’d love to hear his logic for that.

How would that be helpful then as you wouldn't have your phone so your location wouldn't be accurate

How accurate do you need to be? Usually, which building, site or even town is all you need to know.

Why would someone need to track your location whilst you are working? Surely they know your working times and if you are going to be late I'm sure you could message in your break etc.

Believe it or not, not everybody works set hours or has breaks at set times.

I don’t.

This! I have my 90 y o DF on it too, simply so if he gets lost (he has once) I can find him.

nothing remotely weird IMHO. But that’s our family. I do absolutely nothing that I would worry about my DH finding out about.

We’re the same, we can all see each others locations on Life360. We all find it really useful as a busy family that includes 2 teenagers.

I don’t see it as a red flag that my DH likes to check an app to see where I am. It saves him having to call me. But then, I have nothing to hide I guess.

😂

That’s how we do it. We always share our location. It’s something we do for practical reasons and it genuinely is incredibly practical (for us). But I also understand that some people wouldn’t want to do this 🤷‍♀️

We share locations, as a family. No big deal. We rarely use it. I think it’s weird to turn it off, rather than leave it on.

I would definitely not share my location in order to try and allay someone’s jealousy. His jealousy is his problem, not yours. So not engage in trying to make his feel less jealous.

DH and I share our location 24/7. It’s not a problem because we trust each other and I know he’s not checking up on me. We only really check when seeing why we’re not home on time - ie he can see that I’m stuck at the train station likely due to a delay. Also if we’re on nights out without each other - I have once been stranded with a dead phone because the taxi driver got the address wrong and drove off. DH was able to drive to my last known location and find me.

You don’t have to share your location. But thinking it’s a red flag shows the relationship has other problems.

My best mate and sister also have my location.

Just want to interject that not wanting to share your location doesn't indicate a trust problem. It's perfectly normal.

In your case it sounds like him asking for your location is the trust problem.

I think the red flag is that you feel you can't say no to your husband.

I do absolutely nothing that I would worry about my DH finding out about.

Neither did I. But still I wouldn't have shared locations with my late husband.

I find it bizarre that any kind of privacy, freedom and independence has flown out of the window over the last few years. These tracking apps are basically paving the way for 'Big Brother'to monitor a passive and compliant population. And with what's going on in the US at the moment, I think we should all be worried about that.

So long as he shares his location too, would it be a problem? My DH and I do this. It’s useful when meeting up somewhere.

The basis of the creep of all privacy erosions - "if you're not doing anything wrong then you've got nothing to worry about". Braindead.

It always amuses me how much anger this causes that some people make different choices.

and the name calling - you don’t come across as rational or well balanced

I would never agree to being tracked. I think it’s incredibly intrusive and creepy. While I have absolutely nothing to hide, I value my privacy and see no reason why anyone should be able to see where I am at all times.

I have been known to turn it off when I went to dominos one night after work as I knew my son would spot it and start asking for pizza

Christ… I couldn’t live like this, hiding what I was doing because someone else was being intrusive and would start being demanding

Context is everything here.

If you are happy to share, and there's a practical reason to it, and it has nothing to do with jealousy / not trusting you, then go ahead.

But if you have any suspicion at all that it's because he doesn't trust you / thinks you're cheating, then don't do it. That's his issue, and he needs to deal with it. He either trusts you or he doesn't. If he doesn't, he shouldn't be with you.

Jealousy shouldn't be endearing. It means you aren't trusted.

We all share - DH, me and both DC - never thought about it being a problem. It saves the DC having to remember to message to say they have got somewhere or are on way home. DH generally messages anyway unless he is driving. I am happy for my family to know where I am. But I don't have an issue with people making different choices.

whoops. Posted on the wrong thread

Did you just get married ?
if not, why has this just arisen ?

It sounds as if you’d prefer not to share your location-so don’t.

We had a discussion about this as a family and decided not to use Life360. It’s whatever you’re personally comfortable with.

What does he want to protect’ you from?
What dis you need ‘protecting’ from before you met him?
You’re an adult woman, to you need this ‘protection?’