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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My DH wants me to share my location with him

183 replies

1457bloom · 20/04/2025 11:01

Do you think this is a red flag? I feel it’s an invasion of my privacy.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 22/04/2025 11:33

@category12 I think we can agree that all families are different, and on the whole the decisions we make in our family are right for us, but might well not be for another family. I really didn't mean to imply that if you don't track, you don't care!

Shoezembagsforever · 22/04/2025 11:35

Five years ago I stopped sharing my location with my DH when he complained how long I’d spent in Tescos…

aylis · 22/04/2025 12:19

category12 · 21/04/2025 12:50

Because omg texting "here safe" is such a task and would in no way serve the same purpose, or possibly better cos they might include some reassuring info like "had a nice flight, hotel's lovely" because they care for each other in their family. 😂

I don't really see how all this about sharing locations when travelling or in other contexts has to do with OP being asked by a jealous husband to give him access to her location.

Show quote history

For me it's equally about the act of asking another adult to allow you to track them as it is them asking to be allowed to track you. Everyone IS different, but I just think that's a mental thing to bring up on conversation with someone.

ThisIsItNowOrNever · 22/04/2025 12:26

That is a humongous red flag. He is showing signs of controlling, obsessive behaviour. Misogyny of the highest order.
Just think about it. Why would someone in their right mind need to know where you are at all times? It’s not normal, is it?
He may even be projecting because he’s done something he now regrets. Are there any signs of infidelity on his part?

pinkyredrose · 22/04/2025 14:44

1457bloom · 20/04/2025 12:14

He has always been a little jealous which I find quite endearing. Maybe if he knows where I am it will stop him worrying and keep his jealousy at bay.

Endearing? Wtf!

pinkyredrose · 22/04/2025 14:47

zeibesaffron · 20/04/2025 14:22

We have always shared location, I have nothing to hide and couldn’t care less if he knows where I am (and visa versa). It was so helpful when I broke down before Christmas and I wasn’t quite sure where I was. I am often 3-4 hours away from home with work, home late/driving in the dark. DH was able to call the AA with the exact detail.

However, I know I could have said ‘no I am not sharing’ without repercussions or any issues. Neither of us are jealous I just like the back up of someone being aware something maybe up if I am really late home from work.

You couldn't have called the AA by yourself?

zeibesaffron · 22/04/2025 21:16

pinkyredrose · 22/04/2025 14:47

You couldn't have called the AA by yourself?

Show quote history

I explained why on page 7 of the comments - alongside my explanation (below) my DH is a nice, kind man who was trying to help me not to panic!!

My sat nav is linked to my phone, I was in rural Norfolk when I broke down - my maps app and phone had no signal. I had to walk away from the car to get a signal slightly panicked it was 10pm and I live in the midlands. I called my DH once I had some signal we pieced together where I was and he called the AA so I could get back to my car (wait for the AA) and lock the doors.

maslab · 22/04/2025 21:18

Mine asked the same. I said no, I think it’s totally weird. He didn’t ask again.

it all depends on how he reacts when you refuse.

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