Crushing so badly on my sons primary school teacher.

[93Queen]

Ok so before anyone jumps on me for this, I KNOW how wrong and inappropriate this is. My son started in his class in September and from the moment I first clapped eyes on this man, I couldn’t help but find him extremely attractive. I’m not with anyone by the way and haven’t been for a few years now. Just recently, I think I’m seeing things that just aren’t there and it won’t go away. We had a meeting in school recently, and I’m not joking when I say the chemistry is real! For me obviously, not him. It’s all one sided. Anyway, as I walked to the school, my heart was racing and I’ve never felt ‘butterflies’ as bad as that before. As I waited in the reception area of the school, I could see him staring at me through the glass whilst he was quickly getting himself a drink. I also saw him give me a quick stare as he walked into the office. As I said, I know this is wrong but I can’t help the way this man makes me feel. I’m not sure if he’s in a relationship, all I know is, he’s the same age as me but doesn’t yet have any children. How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine? It’s an embarrassment feeling this way in my 30s! He has also invited me in for an additional parents evening, that was just before Christmas, but again, I know all of these things are just him being nice and a lovely teacher. Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too. Thank you for reading if you got to the end and sorry for rambling on.

Deep breaths.
Even if he did fancy you it’s not a relationship unless you commit to each other. See how far off that is? So just slow down and if he wants to or thinks he can, he’ll make it happen.
Theres bugger all you can actually do in this situation.

Enjoy the tension of a flirt and make sure you have lots going on in your life.

Yes I put ‘relationships’ for the topic because I couldn’t find what else it would come under 🫣 but of course it’s not a relationship by any means 🫣I just wish I knew if he found me attractive too, or if he feels this ‘chemistry’ that I feel when I see him

Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too.

It doesn’t matter.

It sort of matters to me, because if he did like me as well, maybe something might happen naturally

Realistically you have very very little interaction aside from the odd snatched minute at pick up or parent consultation.

What is your life like generally? Work? Friends? Hobbies? Happy?

It won’t

Yes that’s the issue. My life is fine generally, I have a good job and I’m working full time, have my children. Great family around me. Pretty settled on the whole I’d say.

Maybe you should start dating?

Ok well focus on that then

Not this

Just enjoy the butterflies knowing it's not going anywhere.

What about friends and social life?

I have a small group of friends but as you can imagine, it’s hard to get babysitters etc to go out, so I’m either at work or home with my children for the most part

In my experience that level of chemistry is rarely one sided if it’s not just lust and you’ve had some banter ! But yes he could be with someone - can you find out? I’m on the fuck it life’s too short to ignore chemistry camp- if you’re both single. You’ll have to make the first move tho it would be inappropriate for him to do so he won’t but you could. If he’s taken he’ll just be super flattered id imagine. Doesn’t need to be weird your adults. I had a parent ask me out but I was with my finance - he was lovely and would definitely said yes had I been single. Which I told him! I wasn’t remotely embarrassed. Have since seen him on parents evenings and I couldn’t care less. People find people attractive.

How many interactions have you had with him op?

That’s the problem, trying to find out. Honestly the first time I met him last year how I didn’t melt when he walked into that classroom I don’t know! I met him 1:1 with my little boy and honestly that first time I just thought woah what a beautiful man!🫣 we had a 2 hour meeting last week (sons on an ehcp) and that’s the day I noticed him staring at me a couple of times. During that meeting even my watch notified me my heart rate was 120🫣 I was sooo nervous going to school for it but in a good way. I can’t even explain the way he makes me feel, I know it’s cringy and embarrassing at my age but I can’t help it. Just wish I knew if he liked me too

A few but not loads. My little boy is on an ehcp but I don’t always do the school runs due to being at work

There is nothing wrong and inappropriate at all with what’s happened so far! I’m surprised at the negative comments here.

From what you’ve said it seems there’s a mutual attraction so could there be a way to find out if he’s single?

You were in a 2 hour meeting with him

was he staring or was he simply interacting with you as a part of the meeting?

That’s what I’d love to find out, but I lack in confidence and I don’t think I could ever approach him and ask if he’s single. I would be mortified beyond belief if he then said no I’m not and I’m not great at hiding my feelings either. He would spot the disappointment in my face a mile off if he was to say I’m not single

This was before the meeting even started. He was getting himself a drink and you can see through the glass into the office as it’s just like a big window thing if that makes sense. I was chatting to another mum whose son is in a diff year group but I know her outside of school. When I looked up, he was staring directly at me. He then walked into the office where the meeting was taking place and again, he stared at me as he walked in. I was still in the reception area at this point and then 5 or so minutes later he came back out to invite me into the meeting room. I was sitting there as well looking down at the table reading the paperwork and it was like I could feel his eyes on me. Might all be in my head which I know is silly at my age

It doesn’t matter because even if you are the hottest thing he’s ever seen, he has to decide if he can be in a relationship with a parent.
He might want a career more than a partner ( ie not having to swap schools), he may not want a blended/ready made family, he may have a girlfriend or be getting over someone.

It’s not your choice. Even if he fancies you.

Isn’t it obvious what you have to do? Write a note with “do you like my mummy” then a box for yes and no and ask your son to give it to him….

Seriously though, I agree with a pp that you need to be the one to ask if you want to find out. Is he likely to be your son’s teacher next year? If not, can you wait til closer to the end of the school year and then maybe ask him if he’d like to go for a drink sometime?

Yes I totally get all that. It’s just the not knowing for me that’s all. I just wondered if he might find me attractive too and how I could find out

Maybe he fancies you too. It’s impossible for us to know here! But maybe there’s an opportunity to invite him to something non-datey to test the waters? Like a fundraiser or volunteering thing or I don’t know, something along those lines?

I think he'd try to find some way of finding out about your life so he could accidentally on purpose bump into you out of school So if you went to a fitness class say, and he'd be in the gym at the same time.