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Original poster

Crushing so badly on my sons primary school teacher.

398 replies

93Queen · 30/03/2025 08:35

Ok so before anyone jumps on me for this, I KNOW how wrong and inappropriate this is. My son started in his class in September and from the moment I first clapped eyes on this man, I couldn’t help but find him extremely attractive. I’m not with anyone by the way and haven’t been for a few years now. Just recently, I think I’m seeing things that just aren’t there and it won’t go away. We had a meeting in school recently, and I’m not joking when I say the chemistry is real! For me obviously, not him. It’s all one sided. Anyway, as I walked to the school, my heart was racing and I’ve never felt ‘butterflies’ as bad as that before. As I waited in the reception area of the school, I could see him staring at me through the glass whilst he was quickly getting himself a drink. I also saw him give me a quick stare as he walked into the office. As I said, I know this is wrong but I can’t help the way this man makes me feel. I’m not sure if he’s in a relationship, all I know is, he’s the same age as me but doesn’t yet have any children. How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine? It’s an embarrassment feeling this way in my 30s! He has also invited me in for an additional parents evening, that was just before Christmas, but again, I know all of these things are just him being nice and a lovely teacher. Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too. Thank you for reading if you got to the end and sorry for rambling on.

OP posts:
Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:50

what makes you say that if you don’t mind me asking? I just feel like a fruit cake wondering if this is all in my head

OP posts:
Ki0612 · 30/03/2025 09:51

Please don't say anything to him. Teachers need to keep professional boundaries. It's on our code if conduct to not have parents numbers etc. This will just be really ackward for both of you.

StrawberryDream24 · 30/03/2025 09:52

Ki0612 · 30/03/2025 09:51

Please don't say anything to him. Teachers need to keep professional boundaries. It's on our code if conduct to not have parents numbers etc. This will just be really ackward for both of you.

Thats what I was wondering.

There are so many ways it could get complicated and problematic.

I would have thought it would be against policy/conduct for teachers to get involved with the parents of current pupils.

Flipslop · 30/03/2025 09:53

93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:16

That’s the problem, trying to find out. Honestly the first time I met him last year how I didn’t melt when he walked into that classroom I don’t know! I met him 1:1 with my little boy and honestly that first time I just thought woah what a beautiful man!🫣 we had a 2 hour meeting last week (sons on an ehcp) and that’s the day I noticed him staring at me a couple of times. During that meeting even my watch notified me my heart rate was 120🫣 I was sooo nervous going to school for it but in a good way. I can’t even explain the way he makes me feel, I know it’s cringy and embarrassing at my age but I can’t help it. Just wish I knew if he liked me too

Jesus you’re not dead yet why is it cringe??! Enjoy that feeling and try and find a way of seeing if he’s single xx

westisbest1982 · 30/03/2025 09:55

93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:49

again, something I am well aware of. And me simply saying something along the lines of ‘any Easter plans with the misses’ isn’t exactly ‘chatting him up’. Because he’s asked me similar questions in the past which again, isn’t what I’d say chatting someone up

Oh he’s definitely interested, OP!

SmileEachDay · 30/03/2025 09:55

westisbest1982 · 30/03/2025 09:44

Different, though, if you’re attracted to the parent, isn’t it? Which seems to be the case here.

Show quote history

No, it really isn’t.

Please, OP, do not use the next parent eve to try and ask him out.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:56

How do you know🫣🤣

OP posts:
StrawberryDream24 · 30/03/2025 09:57

My little boy is on an ehcp

Maybe your son has enough on his plate, without his Mum dating his teacher (?)

You have no idea if it would work out.

And it looks like this man would be going against conduct rules to date you anyway.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:57

I just think some of the comments here have made me feel a bit silly if I’m honest. I didn’t set out for this to happen, it came from no where and just smacked me in the face when I wasn’t expecting it. I guess they do say the 3rd love is the one you’re not looking for and comes from no where. Been single now since my little boys first birthday so it’s been a while

OP posts:
Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:58

He wouldn’t even realise, he’s 6 with no understanding and he’s wayyyy behind other children so he wouldn’t have any idea

OP posts:
WonderingWanda · 30/03/2025 09:59

I'm cringing for you op, you sound like a schoolgirl. It will be in his contractual terms and conditions not to form relationships with parents. You find him attractive, that's fine. He's being nice to you because he is your child's teacher and it sounds like the additional parents evenings are likely due to your sons echp. Nothing you have described suggests this man fancies you.....he looked at you through a glass door is not a sign of mutual attraction. Please get a grip and recognise that you have an unmet need.....a grown up sexual relationship....then go and try and fix it by starting to date appropriate men not your child's teacher.

westisbest1982 · 30/03/2025 10:00

He's being nice to you because he is your child's teacher and it sounds like the additional parents evenings are likely due to your sons echp. Nothing you have described suggests this man fancies you....

This has to be a piss take, right?

StrawberryDream24 · 30/03/2025 10:00

How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine?

Crushes can be very intense, but they pass.

Focus on other things.

Try to start a new hobby, it could be one you do with kids ... If you have trouble getting baby sitters.

I don't think he could date you even if he's single and even if he'd want to.

You could perhaps pursue things in future, after he's stopped teaching your child.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 10:01

He won’t be his teacher anymore after July

OP posts:
StrawberryDream24 · 30/03/2025 10:02

Been single now since my little boys first birthday so it’s been a while

Sound like you need to prioritise getting a decent baby sitter and do some social things and some dating.

Overhaul54 · 30/03/2025 10:03

Doesn’t seem like a fantasy, that’s what I’m getting at here.

He’s not asked her out.
He’s not talked to her about anything outside of school.
They’ve not been on a date.

Yes it’s a fantasy. Finding someone attractive is not a relationship. I fancy Matt Dillon - I am not expecting anything to happen.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 10:03

Actually no, it was nothing to do with the ehcp. I missed what they call their ‘book look’ as I was at work myself. He went out of his way to invite me in on the last Friday of term to look at his books then. That’s the same day he asked me if I had any plans for half term etc. also, there was one time where he came out and asked if I wanted to speak to him, apparently the TA had told him I was the mum that wanted a word with him. I was very confused by this and said no definitely wasn’t me then he just brushed it off and said oh maybe she’s got her wires crossed (the ta)

OP posts:
StrawberryDream24 · 30/03/2025 10:05

93Queen · 30/03/2025 10:01

He won’t be his teacher anymore after July

Well, I would put this crush on ice until after July.

I would try to date and build up more of a social life.

If you're still interested in him later in the year, you could do more to try to find out if he's single and make an overture to him.

However he may still not be able to date a school parent, even if he wanted to

SmileEachDay · 30/03/2025 10:05

93Queen · 30/03/2025 10:03

Actually no, it was nothing to do with the ehcp. I missed what they call their ‘book look’ as I was at work myself. He went out of his way to invite me in on the last Friday of term to look at his books then. That’s the same day he asked me if I had any plans for half term etc. also, there was one time where he came out and asked if I wanted to speak to him, apparently the TA had told him I was the mum that wanted a word with him. I was very confused by this and said no definitely wasn’t me then he just brushed it off and said oh maybe she’s got her wires crossed (the ta)

None of this is evidence that he is anything other than a decent teacher.

Duh · 30/03/2025 10:06

As he is your son’s teacher it’s difficult for him to so unless you ask him out you’ll be at a stalemate.

I think you need to bite the bullet and be a bit braver. Nobody gains a thing in life by being timid and waiting for things to happen to just happen to them. Take a risk.

Moveoverdarlin · 30/03/2025 10:06

You won’t know if he likes you or not, just enjoy it at the moment for what it is. Whilst I don’t think it’s forbidden, it’s highly unprofessional for a teacher to have a relationship with a parent of one of the kids he’s teaching.

If anything were to happen my guess is he would wait until your son moves up to the next class in September. That puts a little bit of professional distance between the two of you.

I wouldn’t mention this crush to anyone. Other Mums can be bitchy and will stitch you up. In the meantime just enjoy the fanny flutters and ask him a few questions to suss him out.

tigerlady14 · 30/03/2025 10:07

it’s fun and healthy to have a crush! u should watch the new bridget jones movie as there’s a romance with her sons teacher lol

Sofiewoo · 30/03/2025 10:08

93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:57

I just think some of the comments here have made me feel a bit silly if I’m honest. I didn’t set out for this to happen, it came from no where and just smacked me in the face when I wasn’t expecting it. I guess they do say the 3rd love is the one you’re not looking for and comes from no where. Been single now since my little boys first birthday so it’s been a while

You should feel silly! You’re planning out ways to chat up your child’s teacher at a parent teacher meeting for god sake, have a bit of dignity and let the man get on with his job!

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 10:09

I wouldn’t dream of ever telling any of the other mums, or anyone else for that matter as it would be all over the school before I knew it

OP posts:
westisbest1982 · 30/03/2025 10:09

I fancy Matt Dillon - I am not expecting anything to happen.

Completely different because you haven’t him (or have you?) and if you have he maybe hasn’t done certain things / said stuff that the OP has described. Maybe he did, though, when you met him? (Loved him in The Saint of Fort Washington, btw).

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