Crushing so badly on my sons primary school teacher.

[93Queen]

Ok so before anyone jumps on me for this, I KNOW how wrong and inappropriate this is. My son started in his class in September and from the moment I first clapped eyes on this man, I couldn’t help but find him extremely attractive. I’m not with anyone by the way and haven’t been for a few years now. Just recently, I think I’m seeing things that just aren’t there and it won’t go away. We had a meeting in school recently, and I’m not joking when I say the chemistry is real! For me obviously, not him. It’s all one sided. Anyway, as I walked to the school, my heart was racing and I’ve never felt ‘butterflies’ as bad as that before. As I waited in the reception area of the school, I could see him staring at me through the glass whilst he was quickly getting himself a drink. I also saw him give me a quick stare as he walked into the office. As I said, I know this is wrong but I can’t help the way this man makes me feel. I’m not sure if he’s in a relationship, all I know is, he’s the same age as me but doesn’t yet have any children. How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine? It’s an embarrassment feeling this way in my 30s! He has also invited me in for an additional parents evening, that was just before Christmas, but again, I know all of these things are just him being nice and a lovely teacher. Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too. Thank you for reading if you got to the end and sorry for rambling on.

Definitely won’t be his teacher next year as they change every year. I’d absolutely love to ask him something like that but it’s the embarrassment for me. I have no confidence and I’d die if he said no I can’t or don’t want to, or no I’m not single etc. I was going to follow him on Instagram at the end of the year because at least that way I can hide behind my phone and I won’t have to face him again

FFS why encourage this nonsense?

Maybe he does fancy her. So what? It won’t progress unless he actively wants a relationship with her. NOTHING Op can do will influence that.
She needs to be out and about getting as much as she can out of real life. Nothing to stop her finding him attractive and being open to the possibility but understanding her feelings aren’t going to make the difference.

@Overhaul54 Why are you being such a misery guts? And why is it nonsense?

If he is a good looking man, I can't imagine you're the only Mum, who is attracted to him, half of the Mum's in your son's class will be! There's nothing wrong in having a bit of a crush but as your son is in his class it's unlikely, even if he did like you, he would attempt to take it further. Once your child has moved up to Year 1, and he's no longer teaching your child, then I don't see an issue. It depends on school policy, to be honest. Teachers in the school I work at, aren't allowed to teach their own child, so I can't see the school being happy if a teacher were having a relationship with a parent of a child in their class! Enjoy it for what it is, a crush but personally I would leave well alone - if you found out he is single and your son has moved to Year 1, then no harm in asking him out.

can you arrange another meeting? Be like ‘well I’ll let you get home to the misses’ and see if w corrects you! If he does then I’d say he’s game and you can ask him out.

Seriously though, I agree with a pp that you need to be the one to ask if you want to find out. Is he likely to be your son’s teacher next year?

Love that suggestion. See how he reacts (think the next parents evening is coming up?).

It's a day dream for you. You know absolutely nothing about this man except he 'might' have been looking at you. You are fantasising about his motivation. The man is your son's teacher. Possibly he was confirming which child you were parent to. Possibly he was looking through the glass but not necessarily aware of looking at you, but thinking about your son. He is a professional and it would be inappropriate to go into a relationship with a child's parent. Please don't try to find out if he's single etc.

The difference is you weren’t the interested party …. the Op is.

Why put the Op is the position of asking the bloke out when most likely it will be a rejection.
Why not just wait until he asks her out because then she’ll know he actually likes her enough to make it work.
Believe me Op if a bloke wants to go out with you he’ll find a way to let you know.

I cannot imagine anything more awful than the parent of a child I teach trying to flirt with me, or asking me out.

If you get yourself a really hot toy boy, perhaps a gardener studying for a PhD in microbiology type, the teacher will realise you are the woman for him.

Meanwhile, have a cold shower, don't embarass yourself and stop trying to be Bridget Jones.

as I said in the post, I’m in my 30s and I’m well aware I can’t influence anything. I was just simply asking if there’s any ways for me to find out if he did like me as well, because that way when my son leaves the class, I could possibly ask him 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can’t be seriously asking us that question? Aside from asking outright, there’s no way of finding out

Different, though, if you’re attracted to the parent, isn’t it? Which seems to be the case here.

Would it not be considered inappropriate and unethical for him to date one of his pupil's parents??!!

How is he supposed to be seen to be neutral if he's romantically & sexually involved with one pupils mother?

And if it goes tits up, equally so.

And how is your son supposed to feel about his teacher being his Mum's boyfriend?? It totally changes the dynamic.

I honestly don't think - even if there are no school rules against it - that any wise, sensible, responsible teacher would be dating their pupils parents.

I therefore don't think he'd date you even if he is attracted back.

And that would be wise.
By both of you.

I want to try and say something like that at the upcoming parents evening. I’m sure there’s another one soon!

No. Just no. If he's not interested, the staffroom will likely be regaled.

He's your son's teacher. Observe the boundary and behave yourself.

No it won’t.

I want the Op to be happy. Find a lovely relationship that suits her and her child.

You can waste a lot time and mental energy on these fantasy relationships.

Body language and that sort of thing. Which I’ve never been any good at but some people are

Parents evening is to support your child’s education and development, not for you to chat up the teachers.

And what if he is 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would be surprised if the school didn't have a policy of strongly discouraging teacher - parent relationships.

I know I would, if I was a head teacher.

It's a minefield in so many ways.

I wouldn't think it's right that a child has to be taught by someone/has someone in an official position of authority and mentorship over them - who's also being intimate with their parents, and perhaps popping up in their home life.

Maybe after they have finished teaching them, maybe.....that would be a lot better.

Doesn’t seem like a fantasy, that’s what I’m getting at here.

again, something I am well aware of. And me simply saying something along the lines of ‘any Easter plans with the misses’ isn’t exactly ‘chatting him up’. Because he’s asked me similar questions in the past which again, isn’t what I’d say chatting someone up

In fairness it was like 7 years ago and I was out at a bar. Wasn’t in school!