Dating new guy - surprise pregnancy

[Gnomie93]

I've recently started seeing this guy and he’s wonderful, and we both like each other very much but it still early days.

This morning he calls me, he’s very upset, and tells me that he has just found out a previous one night stand he had prior to us dating is now pregnant. He makes it clear he doesn't want to lose me but also understands if I make a run for it.

He doesn't know if the woman will keep the baby, she’s in her very early twenties and from what I gather they don't have any feelings for each other. What makes it worse - it is his housemate. (She is now moving out)

Im stuck on whether I should continue dating him? I know that this situation is so messy and I feel bad for them both and I don't want to sway any decision that is made but I do like him and that's very hard to find now days.

Housemate eh?

Have you been to his place and met her?

If she keeps the pregnancy then I would run a mile. Tell him to contact you when the baby is 6 months old and he has a decent contact and maintenance schedule in place. If he's a good one, he will. If he's a dickhead he will either screw up contact and/or install a new girlfriend in place and he will be no loss to you.

Yikes. How old are you and him?

I would stop contact and tell him to be in touch with you once they have got their situation sorted, if he wants to. Then you can decide at that point if you want to deal with whatever situation has come to pass.

I really wouldn't get involved in this potential mess.

Noooo. Life's too short. Assuming your username is the year of your birth, you're only 30 - move on.

At least he is being honest, that is a good sign

I’d be wary of someone having unprotected one night stands tbh

So he had sex with a "housemate" who is in her "very early 20s" and whom he "has no feelings for."
How old is he out of interest?
OP - you can do so much better than this waste of space.

I mean you can't have been seeing him more than a few weeks surely if someone he was just sleeping with has only just found out they're pregnant - honestly I'd run for the hills!

It sounds like he’s actually got a live in girlfriend and he’s lying to you.

Why would you even think of getting involved in this?

Doubtful it's his housemate.

It’s a very personal decision, but I wouldn’t stay with someone in this situation. In a few months he might have a newborn. That needs to be his focus. Maybe take a step back while he focuses on next steps first himself. Bluntly, if he is a man worthy of you, the pregnancy should be his focus and priority, not you. Any man who would prioritise a new relationship over his potential child is not worth being with anyway.

Run for the hills.

I’d end it.

Yes, how old is he? It's troubling that she's so young and he didn't use a condom.

@LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta Clearly he did but it broke(!!!) Well, that's the next story...

Who else has he had unprotected sex with?

It's a shame but I would call it a day while he sorts his life out. If you stay with him and deepen your feelings then it will be even worse when the baby comes and all the rest of your life... What if they decide to make a go of it as a family, as people sometimes do in these situations. Don't put yourself through it. Run now.

First Post nailed it !

Housemate indeed - hmmm

Ask to meet her, see if her side matches.
Id still run for the hills, but then I’d really know why !

Had you ever been to his place? Or met the, umm, "housemate"?

I wouldn't stick around for any of this.

Just bin. He's an irresponsible twat.

Don't be the person who comes back here 12 months from now complaining about her boyfriend spending time and money on his baby and ex shagging partner.

Hi, yeah I have - she’s always been very quiet

Like you say, that is very messy. I would run a mile.

you’d have to be desperate to get involved with this

Hi, yeah I have - she’s always been very quiet

No wonder OP. He was shagging her only a matter of weeks ago.

One off or not, what kind of bloke would bring the new woman he's dating around so quickly in that situation. Must be awkward for her.

Back to your question. A decent man, upon finding out he is potentially going to be a father, will spend his time preparing for that and supporting the mother of his child whether they are in a relationship or not. He won't be spending time pursuing new relationships.

That you've been there and met her kind of rules out the live in gf.

But this is just way, way too complicated for a relationship of weeks. I think this has also exposed an unattractive side to this guy, that he'll complicate his life for an orgasm.

I feel kind of bad for her that she has to move out.