Dating new guy - surprise pregnancy

[Gnomie93]

I've recently started seeing this guy and he’s wonderful, and we both like each other very much but it still early days.

This morning he calls me, he’s very upset, and tells me that he has just found out a previous one night stand he had prior to us dating is now pregnant. He makes it clear he doesn't want to lose me but also understands if I make a run for it.

He doesn't know if the woman will keep the baby, she’s in her very early twenties and from what I gather they don't have any feelings for each other. What makes it worse - it is his housemate. (She is now moving out)

Im stuck on whether I should continue dating him? I know that this situation is so messy and I feel bad for them both and I don't want to sway any decision that is made but I do like him and that's very hard to find now days.

Grim. Poor girl.

Dump him OP, what a mess.

I had the same thing happen to me after 6 weeks dating I guy I was mad about. After much heart ache I learnt the hard way that he wasn’t the best guy and a bit a womaniser. I hope you’re ok but honestly just walk away I wish I had it would have saved a lot of time and hassle

Run.
Get tested for STIs.
Lucky escape for you

Are you serious ….

You don't know though, because you don't know him very well, having only been seeing each other for a short period of time

Sorry but they live together? I would be highly sceptical about this “one night stand” or whatever he’s saying to you, they could have been in a relationship with feelings involved. They’re a lot closer than your average one night stand, they regularly see each other etc.

Yeah how is she a one night stand and his flat mate? And suddenly now pregnant

I wonder why she didnt bother with morning after pill

Well - sorry, but OP doesn't know how honest he is being, what his feelings are to his 'housemate' and vice versa, or whether he has a habit of one night stands with no contraception. I'd be quite cautious about believing his version of events.

Yes and therefore her choice too not to use contraception. Shouldnt be any surprise she got pregnant. So makes me think it was deliberate on her part to get pregnant.

back off from him sharpish whilst he sorts out his mess ! Dont take it on.

Dump the W ⚓️

I don’t know OP ..
I get people get caught up in the moment & don’t use protection & then this happens !
I don’t know why people slate the shit out of people on this , He’s the worst in the world, what kind of guy does this , etc , etc ( bullshit ) 🙄, She didn’t use protection either , it’s not all his fault ffs ! ! …
It is a messy situation, I feel sorry for all concerned being honest …
I don’t know what you should do , this is one of those threads when you just can’t advise cause you don’t know those involved..
Hope it works out ok for everyone x

Just bear in mind he’s not the same guy now. He’s a dad now. He will have someone else in his life to love besides you. Sometimes you may need to come second. If you’re ok with that and able to support him in navigating all this then there’s not likely to be too much of a problem. Just he prepared to take to make any necessary concessions graciously.

Make a run for it

Maybe too hungover the morning after. Maybe the next day was a Sunday and she couldn't be arsed by then to get the one bus into town and thought it was just a quick bunk up that wouldn't amount to anything and then went to work as normal Monday and didn't think about it.
Who knows. Not everyone lives near to a pharmacy and the queue for my Boots pharmacy counter is always very long and pretty public.

It could be she risked it a bit casually and it didn't pay off. Who knows.

How gallant of the housemate shagger … to be SO understanding if YOU decide to run. Give your head a quick wobble, girl. YOU ain’t running nowhere. GET RID! Life has enough troubles without importing those of some hapless easy rider. Move on.

If you dont want to have a baby you do whatever it takes.

I would not continue

A decent man would take time out of dating and be there for the mother to be of his child..
Navigating that will take a lot of effort, even if just mentally.
Doesn't mean getting back together with her, but once things have settled, he could then pick up where he left off. If you're still available, then fine, but don't wait around for him. He'll have you stressed over his issues with her. Let them work it out first.

Wow, this is a HOT MESS and l and I feel like he's not telling you the full story...

You should ask her what happened REALLY between them. You're perfectly entitled to.
Let's be honest, he only told you about them because of the baby- up.until that point , he's happy to have you in his home around the previous chick...
Let that sink in.

Baby or not, why is he having sex with his flatmate in the first place??
Has he never heard the expression, "don't sh!t where you eat"?!

And now the poor girl has to move out...

If she keeps the baby, he has no business pursuing any new relationships. His priority should be his child and him learning how to be a father.

This happened to me, well, something similar. I had an unexpected pregnancy with my boyfriend of six months. We decided to keep the baby, and we were thrilled. We bought a house and moved in together before the baby arrived. But when the baby was just a few weeks old, I found out he had been cheating on me for months with a much younger girl. She told me that he had claimed I was just a one-night stand and that we were never really together, and she believed every word of it. She also said he told her we didn’t live together, and that he would occasionally stay at my place to help me with the baby. All of it was lies on his part.

We ended things, but they stayed together because she believed all of his deceit. They even got engaged and were together for years. Eventually, their relationship fell apart when she grew up and started seeing through all of his lies. But having her in the picture while I was dealing with a newborn made everything so much harder, it completely ruined my experience of those early months as a new mum and massively strained any potential Co-parenting relationship.

If I were you, I’d run for the hills. This relationship won’t end well. It’s no way to build a future with someone long-term.

She isn't entitled to ask the other woman anything, OP has been seeing this man a matter of weeks.

Imagine being newly pregnant, trying to navigate all of those feelings (especially unplanned), then having the "date" of the babies father coming along quizzing you. It's unhinged.

OP just needs to leave the pair of them to it.

Nothing unhinged, try using your common sense here!

I'm sure the OP is mature enough to ask the roomie if there is anything deeper to her situation with the guy she is dating.

No interrogation needed.
Just 2 grown women trying ascertain whether the man that they have in common has been lying to each of them...

He wouldn’t be a keeper for me I’m afraid - too many complications too soon into a relationship.