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Original poster

Discarded and blocked by my husband after he ended our relationship just before Christmas

320 replies

Ria23 · 09/02/2025 16:21

My husband finished with me just before Christmas over an argument over his delinquent 13 year old daughter. His ex wife couldn't cope so she wanted us to have her full time .he asked what I thought and I gave my opinion..he didn't like it.Hes got me out of our marital home ..I spend Xmas and new year at my mums. He's pushing for a divorce and he's also blocked me on everything and I've had no contact at all from him .I also think he's a narcissist.any similar stories I'm really struggling 😫

OP posts:
Bestthriller · 09/02/2025 16:23

I’m guessing he’s focused on parenting his teen daughter. He prioritised her over you. And good for him

Dror · 09/02/2025 16:23

Why did you leave the house? It's a marital asset.
It sounds like divorce is the best option since he needs to focus on parenting his child and you (presumably?) don't want him to.
Plan where you'll live once the assets are divided.

EmmaMaria · 09/02/2025 16:23

What was your opinion?

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/02/2025 16:24

What opinion did you give?

DiscoBaIIs · 09/02/2025 16:25

The child comes first. You know that. If you can't put the child first, don't marry a man with kids.

purpleme12 · 09/02/2025 16:27

Is the reason you haven't said what your opinion was, because that would shed a different light on it all?

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 09/02/2025 16:28

From what you've said, it doesn't sound to me as though he actually wants a divorce.

It sounds as though he is punishing you for saying no to him and he's issued a load of threats to try to control you and make you do what HE wants. The thing is, he hasn't followed through with those threats though has he?

Dror · 09/02/2025 16:30

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 09/02/2025 16:28

From what you've said, it doesn't sound to me as though he actually wants a divorce.

It sounds as though he is punishing you for saying no to him and he's issued a load of threats to try to control you and make you do what HE wants. The thing is, he hasn't followed through with those threats though has he?

Edited

I can't understand how you got that from the OP.
It sounds crystal clear that he is done. He booted OP out, blocked her, and is divorcing her. 🤷‍♀️

Bestthriller · 09/02/2025 16:30

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 09/02/2025 16:28

From what you've said, it doesn't sound to me as though he actually wants a divorce.

It sounds as though he is punishing you for saying no to him and he's issued a load of threats to try to control you and make you do what HE wants. The thing is, he hasn't followed through with those threats though has he?

Edited

Did you… read the short OP?

Pickandmixusername · 09/02/2025 16:31

No similar stories from me, no. He doesn't sound like a good partner for you though, so I'd move on with divorcing him. Blocking you, unless you are harassing him, is extremely childish

Bestthriller · 09/02/2025 16:31

purpleme12 · 09/02/2025 16:27

Is the reason you haven't said what your opinion was, because that would shed a different light on it all?

Given she describes the 13 year old as a delinquent… I’m guessing it was so bloody awful whatever the Op said that this parent simply couldn’t imagine spending another moment with such a person

purpleme12 · 09/02/2025 16:32

Bestthriller · 09/02/2025 16:31

Given she describes the 13 year old as a delinquent… I’m guessing it was so bloody awful whatever the Op said that this parent simply couldn’t imagine spending another moment with such a person

Edited
Show quote history

Well yes that's what I was saying

Bestthriller · 09/02/2025 16:32

He's pushing for a divorce and he's also blocked me on everything and I've had no contact at all from him

sensible man

perfectcolourfound · 09/02/2025 16:33

Calling a child 'delinquent' is awful.

Maybe she has some problems. At 13, it is for her parents to support her and get all the help they can to make things better for her. That responsibility falls as much on her father as her mother. I know it's hard if she won't engage (don't know the circumstances) but no decent or loving parent would ever give up on their child.

You don't say what your opinion was, so it could be that you agree with all of the above, or it could be that you wanted him to turn his back on his child.

If he is a half decent he will move his daughter in and do all he can to help her. If he doesn't want to do that - I wouldn't want to be married to such a man.

Whoyoutakingto · 09/02/2025 16:34

My DD1 at 13 to 15 was a royal pain. Up until having her own child she couldn’t see the problem. It was really hard for me as a single parent with 3 other children youngest was about 2. My ex, her Dad completely washed his hands of her, no unconditional love from him! It’s difficult as a parent to acknowledge your child has gone off the rails, perhaps he is struggling with this, and depending on what your opinion was he could have taken it as criticism. My ex certainly blamed me 100%.
If the shoe was on the other foot knowing what I know now I wouldn’t entertain a child coming to live with me in a similar situation, but your kids are your kids and always should come first. You DP is probably all over the place and has taken the decision to cut you out of the situation, I would be very upset too, hope you get everything sorted out.Flowers

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/02/2025 16:35

He is right to prioritise his daughter. However if you don’t want to live with her full time I can understand that too. Blocking you etc is no way to behave though. Either way it sounds like the marriage is over. Get a lawyer. If the house is owned it’s a marital asset and you need to know where you stand financially.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 09/02/2025 16:36

This is hard op but I think if you were a man on here you would be getting a short shift. I can only imagine the outrage if a man posted that his wife wanted her child to live with her full time and he told her the child was a delinquent and he gave her a piece of his mind. He would be told that he was massively out of order and the wife was right for blocking him. I think you need to move on now and seek legal advice regarding any marital assets

Youarenotthecentreoftheuniverse · 09/02/2025 16:37

DiscoBaIIs · 09/02/2025 16:25

The child comes first. You know that. If you can't put the child first, don't marry a man with kids.

Actually, there's lots of compelling evidence that children should NOT come first, in nuclear families or step. Prioritising your spouse creates a stronger family unit, relationships are more stable and everyone is happier, including the children.

People use 'the child come first' as a way to silence opinions you don't want to hear or to deflect from your responsibilities to address any issues with said child.

In this instance if you were to really put the child first I'd suggest addressing their behaviour, which might be difficult or uncomfortable, to enable a situation where everyone living together is possible - instead of threatening your spouse with divorce.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 09/02/2025 16:37

I think you've had a narrow escape from him and his daughter. Time to see a solicitor now.

TheMeasure · 09/02/2025 16:41

I think this "the child always comes first" trope is responsible for quite a lot of the ills we are currently seeing in society.
Adults ought to be capable of making loving and caring decisions based in the best interests of their kids but that doesn't necessarily mean putting them ahead of everyone else in the family.
Benevolent dictatorship and all that.

Ponderingwindow · 09/02/2025 16:42

What contact do you need?

the time in your relationship came that the focus needed to shift to his child and you weren’t on board. He had to leave the relationship so he could take care of his child. There isn’t anything to talk about.

Hire a solicitor and let them take care of the legal issues.

Floralnomad · 09/02/2025 16:43

What did you actually expect him to say ? You are an adult , his child is his responsibility and he is being responsible .

buffyajp · 09/02/2025 16:43

TheMeasure · 09/02/2025 16:41

I think this "the child always comes first" trope is responsible for quite a lot of the ills we are currently seeing in society.
Adults ought to be capable of making loving and caring decisions based in the best interests of their kids but that doesn't necessarily mean putting them ahead of everyone else in the family.
Benevolent dictatorship and all that.

Rubbish and I bet it would be a different story if the sexes were reversed. The child is 13 not an adult and has already been rejected by her mum. Of course she should come first.

DaringLion · 09/02/2025 16:43

Top man putting his daughter first👏

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 09/02/2025 16:45

Prioritising your spouse creates a stronger family unit, relationships are more stable and everyone is happier, including the children.

What if prioritising the spouse means a child has nowhere to live? I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t make the child happier (or a half-decent parent happier)