To see this guy again or not, early red flags?

[yslxx]

I've been on 3 dates with a guy, I don't really go on dates but we were talking for a few weeks beforehand and he seemed ok so I thought why not. When we've been out he comes across as a real gentleman which is something I've never come across to be honest.

I've now been questioning our last date which was Saturday and I'm not sure if I'm just looking into things too much, we had a nice evening out just a drink and dinner. He offered to give me a lift home and I accepted, we had a kiss in his car outside and chatted for a bit, before I went inside he lightly tapped me across the face like a slap it wasn't at all hard but it was just random I thought. I looked at him as if to say wtf an he's just grinning. I don't know if I'm over thinking things or if this is him testing the waters with me and could potentially be abusive in the future.

That evening he also made a comment about make up, he touched my face with one of his fingers then looked at his finger as if to see some make up on there?? Which there wasn't any, he said he doesn't really like it I ask why and he said it's just not good for your skin I do wear make up but not a great deal and I don't have bad skin so now I'm wondering if this is a red flag as well.

I know he's going to ask to meet up again and to be honest I did like him but now I'm unsure like I said it wasn't hard at all and that could be his way of being funny or messing around. Any advice would be appreciated thank you

How did he take it OP?

This nails it ^

Walk away.

Oh gosh I missed that, sorry!

Just tell him you don't think there's any future in pursuing the relationship and wish him well. Then block.

Immediately no. Immediately no. Controlling creep.
Thank him for the evening, say that you are just not feeling it but you wish him all the best for the future! Then never contact him again.

Wow, sounds like he just about managed to keep up the act of being a decent bloke for two dates and then the mask started slipping. Run for the hills.

Testing the waters.

I wouldn't expect a man to be passing comment on my makeup on a date unless I had lipstick on my teeth.

The slapping thing was odd too. I absolutely wouldn't take this further. He messaged to say he's busy today? Possibly some kind of game playing to see if you're still interested.

I would just send 'hi Bob, it's been nice to get to know you but I'm going to leave things here. All the best'. I don't always suggest this but I'd probably block this one. Whatever the intention, he slapped you, and criticised your presentation. No point giving him the opportunity to reply with something snotty. He's probably ready for it.

The saying he doesn't like makeup and testing if you are wearing it is a red flag. It's not about what he likes it is about what you like and that might change day to day.
The none slap - slap is at best weird as fuck and at worse like you suggest the precursor for more to come.
You're only 3 dates in - don't waste any more time with him.

Hi. Thanks for letting me know. It is has been nice meeting you but I don’t see this developing into something more. all the best.

You don't owe him an explanation as to why but if he was to ask you could say I just don’t feel the spark I’m looking (you face slapping weirdo) for which is subjective and unarguable with. I would then block if he pushes it.

That’s ok - excuse my last sentence!

I think I saw the first sentence and thought 'noooo, another person who thinks bdsm = Mr Grey!'

Obviously I was wrong and you know what you're talking about.

When he asks for a date, I would say that you had a really nice time, but you don’t think you are right for each other. You don’t need to elaborate.

He's testing to see what he can get away with.

Update: he text me Tuesday asking when we're next going to go out, I replied and said Ive decided I'm not ready to date right now and I've got a lot coming up at work that I won't have a lot of free time. I didn't mention the slapping or make up comment because I think he would have only tried underminding it so thought it was probably pointless. He still asked if we could meet and sent a couple of morning messages and tried FaceTiming which I ignored. I did say on here I was apprehensive about blocking him with him knowing where I live, so I didn't rush to do that just to see if he'd turn and I could see what he was thinking if that makes sense.

Now early hours this morning I've woken up to 79 missed calls, FaceTimes and phone calls in the space of 20 minutes!! 3am to 3:20. And a couple of texts telling me to answer my phone. FFS.

Obviously I've not answered or replied should I just block now even though he knows where I live? I'm such a f'n idiot. I've just ordered a ring door bell!

I wouldn't be blocking

For my safety, I'd want to know what he was trying
It's just so worrying because he has your address.

Can you send some details to a friend, his photo/name and number in case he does try something?

I'm sorry, not trying to scare you, I would feel extremely apprehensive given how you've described him and the fact he knows where you live. And his crazy behaviour just now. That's not rational behaviour.

How far away does he live? Is there someone you can call to be with you or keep an eye on the situation with you, a friend or neighbour?

You need to tell him not to try and contact you again. Be very clear that he is not to contact you because if he keeps trying them you have clear evidence for the police.

@yslxx do not reply to this man at this time of the morning .
Who does he think he is “telling you” to answer .

I would wait until a reasonable time and send a message saying .
Please do not contact me again!

If he messages again . Reply “Do not contact me again or I am reporting to the police”

Hopefully he's been pissed and that's the reason for the missed calls and moves on to go back to old and leave you alone so you get peace.

Tbh given how insane his behaviour is and how unsafe you feel, I'm inclined to say call the police non emergency number and tell them about it / ask for their advice. A couple of officers popping round to tell him to cease & desist might be just the ticket.

I wouldn’t bother seeing him again. Give him the reason why then block.

“Now early hours this morning I've woken up to 79 missed calls, FaceTimes and phone calls in the space of 20 minutes!! 3am to 3:20. And a couple of texts telling me to answer my phone. FFS.”

If you get anymore I’d ring the police in the morning personally, he sounds unhinged.He could be out/drunk and trying his luck but living alone that would worry me. Can you tell a friend or parent?

Don't block but do contact the police first thing. Not blocking, as horrible as it is, gives you evidence of harrassment.

Send one message (and only one) "I do not want any further contact with you, do not contact me in any way again. I will be reporting this to the police".