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Original poster

He never replied

388 replies

SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 11:20

26F. He’s 30.

Vibing recently through a new friend group. I can tell he might be interested.

anyway, I texted him to see if he wants dinner at the weekend (so yes I initiated it) He immediately replied ‘Yes!’ within 30 seconds and suggested a restaurant.

ended up texting back and forth every 30 mins because the first restaurant is closed and trying to come up with another restaurant but either fully booked or closed or waitlisted. He tried to book one of them and waitlisted.

he then suggested another restaurant, which as always happy with whatever really. He then never replied after that. This was last night at 9pm.

im sitting here thinking-

  • Does he want me to book this?
  • why hasn’t he replied?
  • Does he still want to go tomorrow?
  • does he want me to suggest a restaurant? Bc I have a few restaurants in mind.
  • I don’t want to double text him… but should I say- what about X restaurant?
any advice would be great!
OP posts:
Doggymummar · 01/02/2025 11:21

Well your just going to ask him. Quick question,we still doing this?

Original poster
SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 11:24

Doggymummar · 01/02/2025 11:21

Well your just going to ask him. Quick question,we still doing this?

That’s double texting him, no? (because he didn’t reply to my last text).

My last text I said ‘sounds great, let’s try it’ and he didn’t reply.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 01/02/2025 11:27

Chill, it's only been a few hours, maybe he was out.

Zonder · 01/02/2025 11:28

I would wait til this afternoon and then say hey, still on for this?

Vibing recently through a new friend group
What does this even mean?

sonjadog · 01/02/2025 11:31

I would message him and ask if you are still on for tonight. Yes, it is double-texting, but I don't think that is the sin of the year as long as you don't make a habit of always being the one to make contact. It would save you spending you day wondering if you are going to meet or not. I personally would rather double-text and have an answer than waste a weekend day. If he doesn't answer or says no, then you can get on with your day and make other plans.

Original poster
SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 11:32

Zonder · 01/02/2025 11:28

I would wait til this afternoon and then say hey, still on for this?

Vibing recently through a new friend group
What does this even mean?

I recently met a new friend who’s a girl and she hangs out with a group of friends. She invited me a few times to her house for dinner and I met him through her.

he always chats to me everytime we meet up that’s all. He messaged me happy new year on the 1/1/25 and stuff.

OP posts:
Zonder · 01/02/2025 11:46

Thanks was just trying to understand the use of vibing and what it means. Does it mean hanging out? Or connecting with someone in particular?

I know that's not relevant to the OP!

Original poster
SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 11:48

Zonder · 01/02/2025 11:46

Thanks was just trying to understand the use of vibing and what it means. Does it mean hanging out? Or connecting with someone in particular?

I know that's not relevant to the OP!

When we meet up as a group, we can talk continuously and don’t want convo to end at the end of the night (well at least that’s how I feel) that’s why I texted him for good.

and when we talk, it’s full of dry humour and inside jokes.

OP posts:
Original poster
SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 11:49

SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 11:48

When we meet up as a group, we can talk continuously and don’t want convo to end at the end of the night (well at least that’s how I feel) that’s why I texted him for good.

and when we talk, it’s full of dry humour and inside jokes.

Show quote history

“Food” not good.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 01/02/2025 11:51

Vibing recently through a new friend group

Gosh, I must be getting old....

nfkl · 01/02/2025 11:52

He was probably out, it was Friday night.
Don’t text, you have done enough.
Let him show you his consideration and interest, give him the space, don’t fill the void, don’t be the cheerleader

JulianFawcettMP · 01/02/2025 12:07

Oh honestly, these perceived rules are ridiculous. Just ask. You don't have to sit back and it's hardly desperate. If it goes well you will have plenty of chances to play stupid games of that's what you want..

namechangeGOT · 01/02/2025 12:11

What's all this 'vibing', double texting nonsense?

Just message the lad and say 'are we still on for this or what? Shall I book it'?

Young people must be torturing themselves over what's what, unspoken made up rules and regulations, what you can and can't say! I couldn't be doing with this! Straight to the point, no rule adhering and cutting to the chase.

Just ask him.

JudgeBread · 01/02/2025 12:21

Has anyone in the history of the universe ever actually cared about a double text? Because I see people fretting about it all the time but have never actually met someone who would care if they received two texts in a row, especially when trying to make plans or arrange to meet?

vandel · 01/02/2025 12:24

I usually phone people. If they don't answer they usually ring or text back. If they want to. Can't be bothered with all this non verbal communication now. But I'm older so I suppose I'm backward or something.

Gone12 · 01/02/2025 12:25

Call him?

ThatMerryReader · 01/02/2025 12:27

You are getting rubbish advise here, sorry to report.
This is clearly a "he's not that into you" kind of scenario, older than the hills.
If he was, he'd have been in touch with all the date specifics.
Under not circumstances text again or you will feel even worse after that when he ignores you again (or ghosts you).

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 01/02/2025 12:28

Don’t play games. If you ‘double-texting’ is the difference between a relationship being good or bad, spoiler alert, its bad.

A good guy who likes you will not be put off by your perceived keenness, nor take it as a sign he can walk all over you, from you asking him a very innocuous question.

He was keen to meet, he’s suggested places, just text and say “right, what’s the plan for tonight then?!”

Then if you don’t hear back within a couple of hours make other plans so you’re not a back up option if he has other things he’s waiting to hear about first.

JulianFawcettMP · 01/02/2025 12:31

ThatMerryReader · 01/02/2025 12:27

You are getting rubbish advise here, sorry to report.
This is clearly a "he's not that into you" kind of scenario, older than the hills.
If he was, he'd have been in touch with all the date specifics.
Under not circumstances text again or you will feel even worse after that when he ignores you again (or ghosts you).

Edited

Absolute nonsense. There is no need to be a passive wallflower and let opportunities pass you by. And if he isn't interested you will find out for certain and can move on without wondering 'what if?' if he says no.

Oh and it's advice not advise.

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 01/02/2025 12:31

You’re the one who asked him out so he might not want to tread on your toes with the actual booking etc but honestly, trying to get into places with a ‘wait list’ for a first date is too much pressure. I’m not suggesting KFC, but pick a low key place you can talk without the pressure of all this “where’s the perfect restaurant?” stuff. The place isn’t that important.

teaandbiscuitskittles · 01/02/2025 12:34

If you can't be arsed to double text and arrange then you've killed any 'vibes'.

BumpandBounce · 01/02/2025 12:35

Ridiculous to assume you can’t “double text”! What a stupid rule.

Just ask. “Still on for tonight?”

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 01/02/2025 12:39

SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 11:20

26F. He’s 30.

Vibing recently through a new friend group. I can tell he might be interested.

anyway, I texted him to see if he wants dinner at the weekend (so yes I initiated it) He immediately replied ‘Yes!’ within 30 seconds and suggested a restaurant.

ended up texting back and forth every 30 mins because the first restaurant is closed and trying to come up with another restaurant but either fully booked or closed or waitlisted. He tried to book one of them and waitlisted.

he then suggested another restaurant, which as always happy with whatever really. He then never replied after that. This was last night at 9pm.

im sitting here thinking-

  • Does he want me to book this?
  • why hasn’t he replied?
  • Does he still want to go tomorrow?
  • does he want me to suggest a restaurant? Bc I have a few restaurants in mind.
  • I don’t want to double text him… but should I say- what about X restaurant?
any advice would be great!

He’s 30. You’re 26. You’re both adults now. Fck it any texting games.

Book a (the?) restaurant - text him the booking and say see you there!

(If he makes excuses, go with a friend and forget this 30yr old man child).

ThatMerryReader · 01/02/2025 12:41

JulianFawcettMP · 01/02/2025 12:31

Absolute nonsense. There is no need to be a passive wallflower and let opportunities pass you by. And if he isn't interested you will find out for certain and can move on without wondering 'what if?' if he says no.

Oh and it's advice not advise.

Show quote history

How on earth is OP being a passive wallflower when she was the last one to text suggesting another location?
When it comes to relationships, It is crucial that from the get-go you show in really clear terms that you don't muck about and will be not taking any bullshit.
She proposed something. He has not replied, which is rude.
She needs now to hold her ground and demonstrate that she won't be jumping through no hoops.
If he is interested, he will reply. No doubt. And when he does, he must apologise for the slack reply. Any other scenario, he is not that into her. Simples.

Original poster
SerenaVanDerW · 01/02/2025 12:50

Ok thanks everyone. took everyone’s advice and I texted him.

I texted him “ are we still on for tomorrow for dinner? Shall we try Y or Z restaurant instead?”

no response yet. It’s only been 1.5 hour. I’ll keep you all posted.

thanks for all your advice. I personally wouldnt care if a guy double texted me, I welcome it actually. However, I was told guys don’t like when a girl does that as it’s ‘needy’ or ‘desperate’

However I hardly ever ask a guy out. Not because a guy has to ask a girl out non sense but I have literally no success ever if I initiate. When guys ask me out, I have more success in securing a date (or subsequent dates after that).

OP posts: