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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Earrings found and they aren’t mine! WWYD?

209 replies

Strugglingmama1 · 31/01/2025 09:46

In brief, I found a pair of earrings behind my air fryer when I was cleaning and they aren’t mine. I’ve asked all my children and they are adamant they aren’t theirs and haven’t seen them.

my husband works away. I’m a SAHM so always here.

If this was you, what would you be thinking? Because my mind is in a mess

Thanks!

OP posts:
chargeitup · 16/02/2025 19:08

@chargeitup
Christ your post was so mental I had to re-comment

I'd love to see your world where no one once married or in a ltr works as a pilot or documentary or film maker or actor or senior level in finance or reporter covering world events or academic or politician or high level sports or in senior fields of science or or or or.

It seems a 'real proper' job to you is working in the corner shop or local chippie.

GreyScroller · 17/02/2025 11:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SollySuffolk · 17/02/2025 11:27

I think a well thought out and planned exit will be better anyway so after DD's exams will be perfect. It's only a few months and you can have everything clear in your mind. Now that you are on to what he is up to, you can look out for yourself and DD. Smiling inwardly that his vile gaslighting will not be working on you.
Keeping notes will probably help as he will try and twist everything.

Good luck to you brave, strong women ! x

Original poster
Strugglingmama1 · 18/02/2025 22:20

Thank you all. Genuinely. Currently looking to clear debts and contacting estate agents. GP already has records from before, and going to book a legal consultation. A few months I can manage, as I’ve ignored red flags for many years! xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Strugglingmama1 · 18/02/2025 22:22

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/02/2025 12:59

You call him Babe? Odd, in your circumstances.

If I don’t call him babe he will start sending me messages saying “why don’t you call me babe anymore”. So yeah that’s why

OP posts:
BoldAmberDuck · 19/02/2025 10:21

WillIEverBeOk · 16/02/2025 14:51

Never ever ever, ever EVER be with a man that 'works away'. It 100% NEVER works out well. 'working away' is ok if you're a single bachelor, but a man with a wife and family 'working away' is 1000,00000% a red flag. When a man settles down and has a family? He needs to get a real PROPER job where he doesn't 'work away'. I've come across men, a couple of them married, who 'work away'. 100%, affairs. It is NEVER conducive to family time. Never. Ever. They either get a real proper actual job where they work, or its o.v.e.r. That's how it should be. As soon as you said 'works away', well, I knew how this thread would turn out. Throw him out. Chuck him in the gutter. Never ever ever ever EVER get with a man that can't get a real actual proper job where he lives without 'working away'. 100 million times, it will always end in tears.

And I really don't care what some simpering women will come back at me with. If your man can't hold down a proper actual real job where you live? Ditch him. He's not worth it. Because nothing will ever and I mean ever good will come from a man who 'works away'. I won't even indulge any arguments from anyone on this.

Edited

Ok, calm down! Blimey!

BoldAmberDuck · 19/02/2025 10:23

Strugglingmama1 · 18/02/2025 22:20

Thank you all. Genuinely. Currently looking to clear debts and contacting estate agents. GP already has records from before, and going to book a legal consultation. A few months I can manage, as I’ve ignored red flags for many years! xx

Yes, take your time and get your daughter through her exams. It really will make a difference if you can. Then you can look forward to Christmas without him

Whatwouldyoudonext333 · 19/02/2025 13:35

BoldAmberDuck · 19/02/2025 10:21

Ok, calm down! Blimey!

Show quote history

Can’t agree more @BoldAmberDuck !

@WillIEverBeOk I think you might be projecting massively here.

My dad ‘worked away’ a lot. Always called home regularly. He never cheated - I know this mainly because he’s a bit socially awkward ( I’d say definitely on autism spectrum). He was hugely loyal ( something associated with autistic people)

in later years, he did talk about some of the people he worked with who did act like single men when working away and he was appalled.

So yes, there’s good reason to think a lot of people take advantage of this time to act single, but many don’t.

mullers1977 · 19/02/2025 17:13

My friends partner works away on a very high paid job - back for weekends- some jobs just demand it - I wouldn’t imagine he plays away at all

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