Earrings found and they aren’t mine! WWYD?

[Strugglingmama1]

In brief, I found a pair of earrings behind my air fryer when I was cleaning and they aren’t mine. I’ve asked all my children and they are adamant they aren’t theirs and haven’t seen them.

my husband works away. I’m a SAHM so always here.

If this was you, what would you be thinking? Because my mind is in a mess

Thanks!

you don't need him to have an affair for you to split up. you can be single without justifying it to him, or anyone.

You can't just passively wait as a SAHM for your marriage to decisively fall apart. Are all your DC school age at least? You need to start working on getting back to work.

I’m so sorry x can you get help or advice x

Why are so many people taking this so seriously? Earrings ‘hidden’ behind an Airfryer? Who would even do that? A very unlikely hiding place, especially if it is the husband hiding an affair. In his position, surely he would hide them somewhere his wife won’t go? The kitchen wouldn’t be my first choice in his position, regardless of how little she cleans it. She’s in there a lot.
I can’t get my head around this post at all and can see no way that the husband, who’s in and out like a fart in a colander, would even have the chance to hide them there, let alone want to! The whole garbled story sounds unlikely and there’s something very fishy about all this!

could they be you daughter's friend. Maybe she took them off, put them on top of the air fryer and they fell down the back.

Honestly if it was me I'd think they belonged to a friend/relative etc who took them out and put them on the air fryer and forgot about them. Thinking DH was having an affair would be way down the list of things because tbh I'd expect him to find a better way of disposing of the evidence.

Why are you waiting for an affair to give you an “excuse” to end things? You’re both miserable and the writing’s on the wall for your marriage even if the earrings are nothing to do with him this time. Don’t be a passenger in your life. And if you don’t want sex with him then presumably you don’t think sex is very important, so why is it such an issue if he has it with somebody else?

I doubt any colleagues would be remotely bothered about finding earrings in a cab

My teenage daughter and friends are always swapping stuff or leaving things laying around. I wouldn’t even think twice about finding a pair of earrings in my house.
You must be feeling suspicious of your husband already to jump to conclusions of him cheating.

Op MN mantra….you can leave any relationship at any time for any or no reason. You are in a financially vulnerable position as a sahm so even if you continue to stay in this marriage you need to keep that thought in your forefront of decision making. I hope your family is complete. I was a sahm frantically looking for affair evidence becuse I knew it but couldn’t prove it and it’s a terrible way to live. Alternatively my DS asked his uni GF if a red tank top he found in his uni housing belonged to her but neither could identify where it came from. My DS randomly mentioned it to me and I said….its mine and I have been looking for it. The difference is transparency My DS knew it didn’t belong to any “secret” female so he felt comfortable talking about it asking about it
ask your DH again about earrings and I personally would put them in a drawer until I identified the owner.

Op is it possible that he's put them there, knowing you'd find them in order to gaslight you?

Seems like a strange place to hide them to be honest. Why would he not bin them. I'd do some digging and try to check phone and statements and phone bills.

Given your updates OP it's not beyond the bounds of possibility he left the earrings there on purpose to upset and worry you and make you look as though you were mentally unstable.

The poster comes from Hull. 😉

You have the right to be happy and not left in a sexless - loveless marriage.

You don't need him to have an affair for you to act.

As the mother - you are likely to get much blame for the break-up at first anyway ...but even if your children believe his side alone, (and they probably know you both better than that) they are likely to forgive you in the end.

If you found earing then maybe he should find a tie clip

There is 2 sides to every story

That did occur to me actually, but after I had posted. 🙂

You don’t need a reason to separate. But you can’t expect him to be the one to leave. You need to leave not him.

Do you think he could possibly have planted them there to make you jealous/play mind games?

The fact they sound tacky make me think they're something a man would choose.

Such an odd place to put them too - why would a child hide them there? Someone has wanted you to find them.

I'm not saying this is the case, but sometimes women leave clues for the wife to find, as a way of letting her know her man is not faithful

This was my other thought but op says she never leaves the house.

I reckon he's playing mind games personally, especially given OP's update that she's told him she wants to leave etc.

This kind of thing happened with dh and I once. I was very unhappy and wanted to leave and told him so. He started going out all dressed up and coming back late but I saw straight through it - it was laughable! We ended up working things out and he changed a lot of his past behaviour but men will totally pull shit like this if they think they're losing their woman.

Maybe they're his. Are they the clip on type? My mates a tranny and pink plastic bling is just the sort of thing he'd wear. He's also partial to lorry drivers!

I wouldn’t accuse an affair on this alone. Has your daughter not had friends round, could she have borrowed a bag from a friend they were in?
my earrings ended up on the floor of my friends house as they borrowed moving boxes from us.

My dc often claim they’ve never seen something before, that turns out to be theirs. They forget.

That or a dc friend took them off, plonked them on top of the air fryer or somewhere else on the worktop and then they got accidentally flicked behind it.

@Strugglingmama1

Why do you think you need some kind of external reason/excuse/justification to leave him?

Being unhappy is completely sufficient.