Earrings found and they aren’t mine! WWYD?

[Strugglingmama1]

In brief, I found a pair of earrings behind my air fryer when I was cleaning and they aren’t mine. I’ve asked all my children and they are adamant they aren’t theirs and haven’t seen them.

my husband works away. I’m a SAHM so always here.

If this was you, what would you be thinking? Because my mind is in a mess

Thanks!

Furthermore my brain is thinking he’s been with someone when he has been away in his truck, hastily grabbed these earrings in case someone else uses the truck, forgot he had them and chucked them behind the fryer at home. it sounds mad. I am mad

Could they have been in a christmas cracker?

I wouldn’t suspect DH if that’s what you’re thinking. If he works away and you’re always home then if he were to have an affair then surely he’d do it out of the house given you’re always home because you’re a SAHP and he has a perfect cover story because he works away…

I’d be thinking more along the lines of your eldest shoplifted them from Claires, left them somewhere around the house, they were picked up by a younger sibling who then got distracted when offered a snack and dropped them near where they were stood in the kitchen not wanting to give up something they knew they shouldn’t have.

Husband has been getting his sex elsewhere, his GF left them behind where they meet so he picked them up.
Didn't want them found in his pocket so he hid them until he could return them to GF.

He would've had to have had a woman round, and she was in the kitchen. Why would she take her earrings off in the kitchen even if she were going to sleep with him? Is there any timeframe where this realistically could happen?
Even so, it seems more likely they are owned by a female friend or aquaintance of you or the kids.

I don't think the earrings are the issue here. Your worries about them are a symptom of whatever else is going on in your relationship.

I think you are right. It’s like I want it to have been him. But also I don’t! :(

I'd assume they belong to older child's friend rather than anything else

You need to address this one way or the other because if you don’t he will very likely be looking elsewhere. Relationships cannot survive where one really wants sex and the other doesn’t. It won’t be without resentment.

Unless you’re hoping he has met someone else?

I’m going to talk to the kids again. Just in case. If we really are going down the affair route, the only opportunity is that while out in his lorry, a woman spent the night with him in there, took out earrings, left them behind. He’s picked them up when coming home in case a colleague uses the lorry and finds them; and has lobbed them somewhere when emptying pockets for the wash. Far fetched even for me!

@Strugglingmama1 if he had any sense in that circumstance he'd have just thrown them away. You say he drives a lorry, has he ever cheated or used sex workers on the road? If not then I'd say it's not him.

It's pretty weird. If you have literally no sex then it wouldn't be a big stretch of the imagination to think he's finding it elsewhere.

I think you need to address the deeper issue. You don’t wish sex, which is fair, but also seem to feel this means he needs to be celibate. I don’t know if he’s cheating, I doubt the earrings are a sign of that. But you need to discuss this, as not many people will accept enforced celibacy.

What's your plan to deal with the issue around sex? Because just not having any clearly isn't working for your husband, and if your marriage breaks up you are going to be in a vulnerable position. Are you hoping he sees someone for sex on the side? Because it's that or he leaves you, probably. I think you need to start thinking about how not to be a SAHM soon.

Husband was vigorously banging other woman from behind in the kitchen over the air fryer and they fell off.
Or it’s the kids.

Are you going to get a job? The marriage is surely over since he doesn't want to be celibate.
You're very vulnerable, being financially dependent on him.

Why aren't you having sex?

Maybe a stocking filler type gift or secret Santa for your daughter that she forgot about or doesn’t like?

Did you have people over at Xmas / NY?

I have read back through your comments, I think it was odd of him to say he didn't know whose they were but DD can just keep them, and then you said about him being a lorry driver, and the no sex thing. I would ask him again.

Can you post a picture of the earrings?

Does your daughter have mates come over?

Why would he hide them behind the air fryer rather than in the depths of the bin?

I don’t find that an odd thing to say. I find wanting to see the earrings odd though.

I'd guess a friend of one of your children. Probably your oldest. Was she showing off the new air fryer to someone?

What is there to show off about an air fryer? How would that involve someone removing their earrings and putting them behind the appliance?

do you have a cat? mine loves hair bobbles & steals mine to carry about all the time