My partner got a fling pregnant

[Anna2025]

I met my now ex partner almost 3 months ago, we have been in a relationship almost 2 Months. Yes it does sound short however this has been the best relationship of my life and I know he is my soulmate in my heart. He’s always treated me well and wanted to build a family with me. I am 45 and he’s 43 but going through divorce and has 3 kids. Few days ago he broke up with me as he got a call from a woman he had a fling with before we met. She’s pregnant. Because he grew up on a broken family, he truly believes that when you bring a child into this world, you need to give the child a family. He has chosen to leave me eventhough our love for each other is that strong due to his beliefs. To try it out with this woman that he has no feelings for if there may be a chemistry eventually for the sake of the child. I am so heartbroken more than my past relationships that I had for years.. I don’t know how to cope. He wanted to have a child with me but with my age it hasn’t been easy. I am so sad and I don’t know what to do :( he said he wanted me to be there as a friend as he doesn’t want to lose me. Please help.. I am Praying he will change his mind and realize that his love for me is that strong that we can make this work and that he can still be a good father to the child and support for the mom :(((

Praying he will change his mind and realize that his love for me is that strong that we can make this work and that he can still be a good father to the child and support for the mom :(((

Do not pray for this. Why would you want a relationship where there is someone else involved? Someone he will give his cash and time to, organise his life around.
you deserve better OP

Your soulmate wouldn't get another woman pregnant. Move on

It's been three months!!

Wish him well and wave him goodbye.

Walk away- cut ties. Being 'friends' won't work. He obviously doesn't feel the same way about you, and you deserve someone that does.

It’s been less than 12 weeks. He is not your soulmate.

Block him and move on and slow down next time.

Sorry OP but he’s not your soulmate and all the Mills &Boon flowery language doesn’t change the fact he’s having a child with someone else and he’s chosen to be with her.

Its been 2 months - this is way too much drama and intensity for a few weeks

He got her pregnant before he met the OP

Walk away. He's not your 'soulmate' he's a sleaze that got someone else pregnant.

To be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if it was his wife and kids he was going back to and you were the fling.

He sounds a bit like a "love bomber".

He's going through a divorce. He's gotten another woman pregnant but he loves you so so much after three months that he wants a baby with you,

Lucky escape op.

Before they were together?

You may have a strong love for him but he's just not that into you.

Protect your heart and slow down on the next one.

Let him go.

You’ve been in his life for about 12 weeks. Not long at all. He’s not even divorced and has managed to get one woman pregnant and get into a relationship with another and make promises to build a family with her.

He’s a fast mover, I will say that.

Are you saying he’s still married, you’ve been together 2 months and you’ve been trying to get pregnant? Are you quite well?

OP, I have - and this isn’t even an apocryphy - things in my fridge older than your “relationship.” This man isn’t your partner and nor is he your soulmate. He’s a man you briefly dated to work out whether you were compatible enough to form a relationship, and it’s quickly turned out that you aren’t. Block his number and move on.

And for goodness’ sake, stop talking about having babies with men you’ve known a matter of weeks. If you’re saying again, take things slowly, work out what sort of behaviours are red flags, and stop thinking that a fairytale will land in your lap. You don’t “love” somebody you’ve dated for a few weeks, you’re just desperate for it to be love and are blindfolding yourself to potential blaring warning signs.

He’s not your soul mate and it’s highly likely he’s bullshitting you. It’s 3 months in, or 2, and already this has befallen your relationship. Imagine what would be happening by six, 12, 24 months in.
PS He is an adult in his 40s who needs schooling on safe sex. Not great.

Op you have only been in a relationship with him for 2 months. How long was he with this last woman ? I'm trying not to be rude but this is way too intense for a few weeks relationship . Dust yourself off and try again but with someone that has no baggage . Don't wait around for him , you don't want to be in a triangle with the ex and him. You deserve better , there's better men out there who don't sow thier wild oats

Amazing that a man with such principles and wholesome family focused values can’t make his first family work. And that having fathered three children already, he doesn’t have the wit to wear a condom.

Come on op, he’s no mills and boom hero, and this plot is full of holes.

Ltb and get sti tested...
If he is such a family man why is he divorced?

He isn't divorced yet.

"He wanted to have a child with me but with my age it hasn’t been easy."
Do you mean you've been trying for a baby with someone you've only known for three months?
What's your relationship history, OP? Because, and im trying not to be horrible here, but do you not think it would be incredibly irresponsible to bring a child into the world with someone you've known for such a short amount of time - he already has three children, he shouldn't have even been talking about this with you - he should have been thinking 'I don't know this person properly yet, and the priority needs to be my existing kids, and I can't risk bringing someone into their life who would potentially be a negative influence' - it's just not responsible parenting, he shouldn't have been talking about babies with someone he just met!

I can fall in love at the drop of a hat. I see people's redeeming qualities with crystal clear clarity yet am blind to their bad points down to the last minute so I am not mocking you when I say this.

But, he isn't your soulmate, it's barely even been a relationship at this point and he's broken it off 'for a fling'. Now, if he considered you to be his soulmate then he would be fighting tooth and nail to remain so whilst simultaneously supporting the women who is pregnant. He hasn't. He's dropped you like a stone.

Be sad for a while, absolutely feel sorry for yourself and then move on. You're only 45, you have plenty of time to build a proper real relationship with someone.

I mean, you say he's done this because of his 'beliefs' that children should be brought up in families, and yet, he's left 3 of his kids to be a single man. He's a contradiction.

He's not a partner, he's barely a boyfriend. I've got mayonnaise in my fridge longer than your 'relationship'.

You are too old to be falling for this shit. If you really believed he loved you and you were soulmates then you might benefit from some relationship and books on maintaining appropriate boundaries and love bombing.

Desperate isn’t a good look OP .