My partner got a fling pregnant

[Anna2025]

I met my now ex partner almost 3 months ago, we have been in a relationship almost 2 Months. Yes it does sound short however this has been the best relationship of my life and I know he is my soulmate in my heart. He’s always treated me well and wanted to build a family with me. I am 45 and he’s 43 but going through divorce and has 3 kids. Few days ago he broke up with me as he got a call from a woman he had a fling with before we met. She’s pregnant. Because he grew up on a broken family, he truly believes that when you bring a child into this world, you need to give the child a family. He has chosen to leave me eventhough our love for each other is that strong due to his beliefs. To try it out with this woman that he has no feelings for if there may be a chemistry eventually for the sake of the child. I am so heartbroken more than my past relationships that I had for years.. I don’t know how to cope. He wanted to have a child with me but with my age it hasn’t been easy. I am so sad and I don’t know what to do :( he said he wanted me to be there as a friend as he doesn’t want to lose me. Please help.. I am Praying he will change his mind and realize that his love for me is that strong that we can make this work and that he can still be a good father to the child and support for the mom :(((

Haven’t read all the replies so forgive me for any repetition.
Op, are you sure that he even got anyone pregnant or is he just using this as an excuse to dump you ?

He's come up with a great way of dumping you for another woman while pretending he's a good guy.

Move on.

It was fun it was short, but it’s over

OP, you can't try to have a baby with someone who've known for 2 months, that's madness..

This is very similar to a thread a couple of weeks back.

There, the man said his ex had revealed she was 7 months pregnant. Supposedly it was a surprise to him.

And despite the OP (of that thread) being madly in love with him, he was going back to the 'ex' because he wanted to be a father.

The OP hoped they would split up and he would come back to her.

There seem to be a lot of these men around.

Right. Doesn't even sound like an ex-wife. In MN terms more like a STBEXW. He's bouncing all over the place.

What's your situation OP? Do you have any DC?

You’ve known him 3 months , too soon to be calling anyone your soulmate . You need to accept that this one is not a keeper and raise your standards in future . If he’s that concerned about children living in ‘broken homes’ he likely wouldn’t be getting divorced . He is telling you a crock of shite and sadly you’ve fallen for it , there may actually not be a pregnant woman - have you met her ?

well he was spinning you a story make no mistake. You’ve had a luck escape.

I think you are a fling for him as well, nothing more than that. Don't be fooled by twats like him.

You are delusional. You will always come last, after his child. You don’t even know him! 3 months!!

Also this. Keeping in mind he’s not even fully divorced yet, maybe he realised he doesn’t want to be locked into another long term monogamous soulmate mate situation. He’s barely caught his breath since leaving his wife! He may have found this all too suddenly intense and taken the noble exit of “doing the right thing” for what is an unfortunate accident, no fault of his.

And he even said he wants to remain friends. What a good man.

Whole thing is quite sickening really. Wouldn’t trust a word. Work on yourself OP and raise your bar considerably

He's not even divorced yet and he's got another woman pregnant and was trying to get you pregnant.

Try to reflect objectively on that and ask yourself if that is the behaviour of someone that is partner material.

There was something very special about your feelings for this man, no doubt about that. But you didn't have much time to get to know him as a real person, and now there is no way of continuing with the relationship and finding out more. He's made it clear that he doesn't want to carry on seeing you, whatever his reasons are.
You can treasure the way he made you feel at the same time as acknowledging that it turned out to be no more than an intense couple of months in your life with someone you never to got to know well.

He wanted a baby with you after being together SEVEN WEEKS?

How is he your partner?

Nor want a child with you after 2 months....

Gently OP, if you hadn't included the ages and details about children this post sounds like it could have been written by a 15 year old. You don't need the chaos and drama of soulmates and one true love. He's made his decision so just distance yourself from him. It's not a situation that will improve your life in any way.

Sorry OP, but it really does sound like you have been love-bombed. And this line “he said he wanted me to be there as a friend as he doesn’t want to lose me” - can you not see that this is a way to keep you dangling? And to have someone to have an affair with? If he is as honourable as he made out, then he would cut ties with you for the sake of his unborn child.

Additionally - why on earth would you want to settle for a relationship with a man who already has 3 children and will now be raising a fourth as a newborn (if he really does pitch in properly)? And then you hope to have a child with him? Even on a completely practical level, you would have a very difficult life if you did this. Surely you want more for yourself than that?

. He wanted to have a child with me but with my age it hasn’t been easy.

I don't know if you mean what this says- that you've been trying to become pregnant.

I hope it means you wouldn't find it easy to conceive at 45. Not that you've already started trying.

Please don't say you've been trying already- with a man you've known for a few weeks and has a trail of other children in his life.

He is not your soul mate.......you are simply infatuated! Walk away, don't look back, you are worth better than him.

YOU don't know him the way you think you do! How could you?? By your own admission - you met him THREE months ago and have been in a 'relationship' for TWO months. Can hardly have been a real relationship when he has a wife and pregnant 2nd girlfriend!
There's no 'mean' responses but there are responses shocked you could be so delusional!

You've known him 12 weeks!! he's not even divorced yet and he's got someone pregnant, honestly walk away and take the rose tinted specs off!
You're 45 not 15.

If he was any kind of decent man, he would be putting the needs and emotional wellbeing of his 3 existing children first.

If he was doing that, he would not be actively trying to have another baby with someone who he has known for 12 weeks and who probably hasn't even met them.