Dating Thread 51 - 2025. New year, new start

[TwistedWonder]

The Rules:
• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Continued from thread 50 - not a single person has ever put their weight on their dating profile, unlike height.
And any man asking a woman her weight before a date would be told to fuck off

So I don’t believe this guys comments.

I do think at least one recent full length photo should be included, and that’s for men and women.

@TwistedWonder in some European countries it's quite common to put weight on profile, at least I've seen a lot of men do it. Can't imagine women doing it

Thanks for the new thread!

Posting so I get notifications! I would never put my weight on my profile (I don't even know what it is) and if I read someone's weight on their profile I wouldn't have a clue how it corresponded with their body. Plus weight can change so it seems a bit pointless.

Am off out for my date soon. I feel like he's lost interest but at least I will know soon

Thanks for the new thread, @TwistedWonder

Good luck on your date @oldernotwiserffs Is this with Mr Tradie? What's the plan for the date?

Can we stop the lazy stereotypes please?
Jojo on the last thread said he prefers a size 12-14 woman (fine, no problem with this) rather than a size 6-8 who is incredibly vain and obsessed with watching her weight.
Firstly size is not an indicator of vanity. Secondly, not all women who are a small dress size are obsessed with diet and fitness. I don’t go to the gym, I enjoy eating and a good glass of wine, and I couldn’t tell you the last time I weighed myself.
As for height/age ‘massaging’ or the use of filters, just no. It’s the deception for me. Just be yourself, it gets rid of the wrong ones quicker.

I have been using a relationship coach which has been great and has stopped me overthinking, putting up with crap behaviour and really focused me on what I actually want.
I have also learned to always have a fun, ready to go ‘B plan’ when dates cancel so I don’t get hung up on it.
I’m now 3 dates down with someone who has deleted their dating app (I haven’t) and we have dates 4 and 5 planned and booked.

All of you that want to date tall guys, we can team up and I’ll take your scraps - 5ft 11 is the absolute max height I’d go for 😆

So maybe being yourself on a profile has something to it - if someone says they are 6ft 1 I’d swipe past, for example!

Never ever in my adult life has a man asked what I weigh! Surely that’s rude? Does anyone other than a medical professional ask your weight?

I think also asking age is unusual outside dating apps, from women anyway. I did ask my latest guy his age but only because I thought he was really young and I was being sneaky. We know each other 6 months now and he still doesn’t know my exact age!

So if anyone feels like they need to disclose their age to a younger guy - why, what’s the purpose? Especially if you’re not planning a serious relationship. If he wants to know he’ll ask, or it’ll come up in conversation.

So… anyone got dates lined up this weekend?

@PeachyKeane glad to hear your Wednesday night was a winner! Are you meeting again?

@ElleintheWoods I have no dates this weekend - out with friends instead. Also, yes you can join my generation no problem. You lot already listen to our music and watch Friends, so all you need do is put the smart phones down once in a while, and relax. Frankie says so!

@Crushed23 I'm keen to hear more about Mr Rave. Love that you met him in 'the wild'! 🤣

@TwistedWonder have you been starting all these 51 threads? Or do people drop in here for a while, then leave when they enter a long term relationship and pass the thread-starting-baton to someone new?!

No I only joined a few months ago. It seems whoever either makes the last post on the previous one or tries to post and can’t then starts the next one.

I might actually now search back for thread 1 see if anyone still around

I need a nickname for my OLD date who I slept with earlier this week. I'm going to call him Mr Irish. Not because he's Irish, but because he has the gift of the gab. If gab means tongue 🤣🤣 Sorry, couldn't help myself! Forgive me father for I have sinned etc etc 🤣🤣

Ok, calm down! So what I'd quite like from Mr Irish is for him to be available occasionally for dates, and sex obviously. Maybe go on a weekend away a couple of times a year. But I don't want to see him more than once every couple of months. I don’t care who else he sleeps with or what he does in between. He seems to be doing this already but has said he would like to move into a relationship with someone in 6 months to a year's time.

Any advice on how to manage this and make sure it doesn't either fizzle out too quickly or become a full on relationship?

@TwistedWonder oooh it would be interesting to hear 'what are they doing now' type updates!

@TwistedWonder @OchreHedgehog - I wouldn’t be surprised if a fair few have just given up on dating like me and just read the thread out of interest but with no real updates. All my single friends have pretty much given up on trying to date in London so I don’t have any updates or stories from them, either. But I love reading everyone else’s updates because there at least someone else is hopefully having fun!

@occhiazzurri

Im one of those who has given up. Been back on the apps a couple of times in the last year or so but absolutely zero dates. Last date I had was June 2024!
I can’t even get past the first few days of messaging so it just seems a waste of time.

I think OLD isn’t right for me tbh. I don’t do casual sex - I just can’t even kiss someone until I feel a connection - so the fast paced quick turnover of OLD doesn't really fit with how I am.

Ive got a great group of friends and all of the single ones feel the same way. Most are long term single and pretty much at stage of thinking it’s just not worth the effort.

@TwistedWonder - your date is more recent than my last date or those of my friends! But yes, I feel the same.

I am taking up a few sports this year so we shall see if this could change. I recently saw a promotional video for drinks on Instagram which involves a wing man trying to set up single people on dates in central London so I might resort to something as ridiculous one day!

TwistedWonder Weight is listed on the 'free' site that I'm on. Obviously you don't have to fill all of the questions in though!

@Crushed23

Just responding to your comment at the very end of the last thread when you couldn't work out how he knew their (claimed) weight- he asked them.

Thanks for the new thread! Here's to sharing the lows & highs of OLD in 2025!

I suspect there will be more lows than highs 😂

@TwistedWonder perhaps there is a gap in the market for an OLD site which is specifically for people who want a long term relationship and are prepared to sign up to a sort of code of conduct- ie must meet matches within 2 weeks or you get a black mark. No touching at the first date, no sex until after the third etc. Would put off people like me who are looking for casual and all the men who are just after sex

I can’t imagine many women who would respond to that question without their answer ending in ‘off’

My response would be to ask them for length and girth measurements. Imperial only.

Not saying I agree with him!
Just pointing out that women lie too when it comes to dating!

I can’t imagine many women who would respond to that question without their answer ending in ‘off’

@TwistedWonder

Quite.

I stand by my original assessment. The neighbour was most probably talking shit.

Also, weight is not at all equivalent to height as a metric. Someone's weight tells you very little about exactly how they will look. Two people weighing the same can look vastly different due to distribution of weight, body composition - muscle vs fat, their general build / bone structure. It's almost meaningless as a fact about someone. Whereas everyone who is the same height is exactly the same length to head to toe, obviously.

This is tricky. Any reason you only want to see him once every 2 months? Sounds like he showed you a good time haha. Things are in danger of fizzling out if you're going to see each other that infrequently. Maybe just plan to see him every few weeks (or whatever works for you) without telling him upfront what the frequency is going to be. I mean, you might change your mind and find you crave him more than once every 2 months. See how it goes, no need to lay down rules at this point.

He may well.be talking rubbish, but that is what he said.

It does show a point though. Women can set very precise criteria about men's height right men off instantly if they fall just below a set height and talk about men's height openly. But if a man mentions a women's weight...

Mr Rave and I are going for drinks tomorrow night! I suggested hanging out after some flirty messages from him, and he said let's go 'bar hopping' and suggested a cool area that I haven't explored yet. He's so fun and cute and just what I need right now.

The self care weekend I had planned to get over Mr HK has been pared back. I'm trying the 'getting over one guy by getting under another' approach, it seems. 😂