Dating Thread 51 - 2025. New year, new start

[TwistedWonder]

The Rules:
• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Also why so many take theirs at gents'? Do they not have clean mirrors in their homes? At least crop out the urinals, I don't need to see them!

@TwistedWonder I know!! Just take the effort. Show me no chins. I'm sure a lot of them would scrub up just fine with a decent pic.

I do the doorframe thing as well 🤣🤣🤣

@NervesOfCotton another top tip! I need to be more on it, I think. The guy I'm seeing atm is too short really so won't be a long term thing. But he thinks it will be. It's his own fault he'd put 5 10 on his profile, he's perhaps 5 7. He's a sweet guy as well.

But would you have matched with him / messaged him if he had said he was 5'7?

Maybe, but now I'm worried that he'd actually be 5 4 if he said 5 7.... 😆

I did ask one guy who hadn't put his height, and he was honest that he was shorter than me. So we met anyway and had a really lovely date. As long as they're honest I prefer that. It's the deceit that puts me off.

PeachyKeane It's just the dishonesty isn't it. I'm 5'4 & have dated several men who were 5'6 & it was lovely.

But it's personal preference & there's nothing wrong with that.

I get it that it's a 'thing' that men are worried about, but it seems to be 9/10 profiles there's sarky comments 'I am 6 foot, since that seems to matter to you lot'/'I am only 5'5 so none of you will give me the time of day, so don't know why I'm bothering'.

I HATE negativity, of any kind on a profile.

I'm extremely self conscious about my weight & how I look, but I'd never write on my profile 'I am fat & wobble like a jelly so none of you will bother with me'. (Even though I may think it sometimes)

@NervesOfCotton exactly that. It's the bitter attitude. You can then expect them to be grumpy and resentful about other things. An unattractive quality.

I also don't like profiles where they look moody in every photo. I think you'll be a grumpy bastard.

Equally grinning like a loon or crazy I'm mad me faces. Just be normal, with a sense of humour.

PeachyKeane Aah yes, the old 'My face will crack if I smile' Or 'Sticking my tongue out in every photo shows that I'm a funny guy' Ones.

Also when you get a chat started & it's just 'I expect you get loads of interest, being a woman, it's easy for you. Always going to be hard for a man. Women don't even have to try. I'm surprised you answered at all, they usually don't'. Really hard to get a chat going as a man'.

It's like 'Ok, Are you done? Do you actually want to talk to me? Because I'd like to talk to you, I'm here. Or do you just want to tell me how nobody wants to talk to you?!'

Although, to be fair, I don't tend to bother anymore. If they start that 'Poor me' stuff now I just unmatch/block. Once they've gone over to the 'Poor me' side, I can't get them back!

Such hard work, and this is them supposedly trying to impress you. Imagine how they'd be after years together 😁😆 I've just untangled myself from one miserable bastard, not taking on another one. I want someone fun and positive who's going to add value to my already pretty fabulous life ✨️

Oh I hate the ones sticking their tongue out - am I supposed to think ‘ooh you’re so crazy and fun.?’

I've also noticed quite a few post selfies in their pants 🤢 or close ups of their chests - why???

It's baffling.... it's like they don't want to get any likes 😆

@NervesOfCotton

Oh I get that a lot. ‘You’re a good looking woman I bet you’re getting lots of attention on here so I won’t get a look in’ type of thing. They might be decent blokes but it’s already putting me off with the negativity.

I chatted to one once and he asked what I was up to the weekend. I said ‘I’m out meeting friends later in London and he replied ‘oh I bet you’ll pull and forget about me’ WTAF????

For me that's an instant no, even if their other photos are ok. Same with the middle-finger photos, why would anyone find those appealing?

I might still have pic on my phone (I admit screenshotting and sending to mates ) of one guy who was obviously on holiday, l among over his hotel balcony with his shorts pulled down showing his bare white arse - as his main pic 😩

Probably thinking ‘hey I'm so wacky they’ll live this’ whereas 99.9% of women think ‘twat’ and swipe left very quickly

I'm with you Peachy. I want the fun part of being with a man but not the drag part. Why do people want to be in couples anyway? Unless you're rearing children it has far more downsides than upsides!

There are apps that can accurately predict a persons height from a photo using AI. Can't remember name but I heard about it on radio 1 😂 it worked on the DJs they tried it out on!

popping over to hang with you guys - working up the courage to get back out there.
Last guy I met was on FEELD, had a lovely 19months together, then he dumped me by text before Xmas. I was (am) devastated.
He would spend ages talking about the bad break-ups he’s had, and now I can see why. He’s bloody awful at it.

Anyway, as a tall girl of 5 11 who lifts big heavy weights in the gym, I would crush a small guy with my thighs. Which might be his fantasy but it’s def not mine.

I don’t mind being taller, but not too much taller? I’m dunno what to set hight too if men lie.

TwistedWonder Yes, it gets on my nerves.
It's the whole 'There are so many more men than women doing OLD' thing.
That may be true, but it certainly doesn't mean that it's 'easy' for us though.

Newyeargymwanker Honestly, I think it's a given that men lie by a couple of inches so just be aware of that. (Obviously if they haven't lied then it will be good either way!)

I managed to get my breeze date moved to soho, much better than Lewisham!

Anyone got a good line for leaving after one drink if there's no chemistry?

Can you tell I'm half dreading this 😂

I generally say something like "this has been so lovely, but (then excuse about distance perhaps 🤔) are there any possible downsides to the match that you can exaggerate if need be?

I just leave and say something like "I should get going".

I'm never rude, but I don't go out of my way not to hurt their feelings. If a date is dreadful, I get out of there.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Sounds like there are a couple of us here just after some fun dates and hopefully some good sex! After finally getting rid of my useless, abusive ex and moving to my own place last summer I'm in no hurry for anything that serious anytime soon. Hopefully one day though, but not right now.

I've only been dating for a few months and so far my dates haven't been that bad, even if I knew there was no chemistry and it wasn't going to go anywhere have always stayed for a couple of drinks and a chat. If he's truly unbearable would just make my excuses and leave after one.

Yeh I wouldn't leave after one drink unless he says something like "Hilter wasn't all bad" (this has happened to me 😱 so it is possible). The spark might not be immediate so give it a chance.

And to fellow casual daters, anyone been able to maintain a casual 'little black book' type contact/ contacts for a prolonged period of time (but only actually meeting occasionally), or do these things always fizzle out after a while?