Dating Thread 51 - 2025. New year, new start

[TwistedWonder]

The Rules:
• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

I have bitten the bullet and joined Breeze after having no luck on hinge.

I have my first date tomorrow and have just had the location sent through... it's in Lewisham which for anyone who knows London is not exactly central!

I'll need to take two buses and two trains to get there and I'm really pissed off 😂 anyone else using breeze in London - is it always this bad?

Just thought I’d say I threw the rule book out a few months back. I’m dating someone 30’s I’m 40’s quite a large age gap. He isn’t tall neither am I. He may not stay in the country long term as his job may lead him elsewhere but it works. The only thing I was set on was a no smoker. I didn’t think I would date someone younger but he has been more emotionally available than men my age. It has raised a few eyebrows so to speak but I don’t care! Good luck everyone!

It’s a nonsense comparison. If someone has a full length body photo and the person they match with is attracted to them, what difference does it matter if they’re 8 stone or 11 if there’s an attraction? And as @Crushed23 said, two people could weigh exactly the same but have totally different body shapes and sizes.

He’s lying into. I’m in my 50’s and never in my life had a man asked me my weight.

A very nice thread so far. Needs to continue. Thank you!

I've never been asked my weight before on a dating website, and have both headshots and full-length recent pictures so men know exactly who they are meeting.

I'm a solid size 16, big boobs, big bum, curvy, and I've not had anyone say anything about my size, in fact it's quite the opposite 🤣🤣🤣 I don't have any filters on my pictures.

Lots of men in OLD are hugely sensitive about their heights. I generally only click on those that have their height already written, as on occasions where I've clicked on those who don't, then I've asked the question fmduring conversation, they get really silly about it ("I'm 4'1" etc).

As you can't see each other in real-life initially, how you match up in terms of height is important for a lot of people, myself included. I'm 5'7", and as I said a size 16, so I'm not small. I like a taller larger man, which in reality means 5'11" plus, and men who lie about their height are annoying because you've just wasted both of our time!

@Datesandprunes I've been on a Breeze date, it was fun.

We are supposed to be going on a second, however due to childcare I'm only going to be able to meet him a week on Sunday, and he says he can't because Sundays are his "reset day".

I can tell scheduling is going to be an issue with him, and as I don't actually fancy him yet, I am going to knock this on the head tomorrow.

following!

@Crushed23 I really don't want to sleepwalk into another relationship where I spend all my free time with them and experience the inevitable (inevitable in my case anyway) decline from hot sex to 'what do you want for dinner?' being the main topic of conversation.

Perhaps this is naive or impossible. But I have the idea that if I had someone (or more than one) that I met up with occasionally it could preserve the 'hot phase' indefinitely. So I was disappointed when he said he was having fun for now but wants to settle into a relationship in a years time.

@Crushed23 I think the very best way to get over one guy is to go straight out with another! Keep us posted as this sounds promising, Me Rave is obviously up for a good night out if nothing else!

Thanks for the new thread @TwistedWonder

Good luck on your dates those who have them lined up for the weekend.

I had a 3rd date last night with the guy I met last week. He's lovely but I think he's too keen. He cooked again, we had a great time in bed. But he's wanting to be a couple and I'm fresh out of a 32 year relationship and don't want to be tied down again.

So I've gone on Hinge, matched with quite a few. Got a couple of dates lined up over the next few days. It's quite addictive really chatting to new people isn't it?

@Starseeking I'm the same height and solidly built so I also need a decent sized man. Like you say, they've wasted my time if they've lied about their height.

@Starsandall I have been enjoying chatting to younger men as well. I have no issues with an age gap at all. A guy I was chatting to last night said to me how he sees it is we are adults, once we are past 25 just some have been on the earth longer than others.

sorry @Mountainormolehills I didn't mean to stereotype, i just tend to find smaller woman less body confident and therefore I'm more attracted to a few sizes larger - Vain was probably the wrong word to use,.

I guess my point re the height is, I know for a fact, that because i've 'massaged' my height by 1.5 inches i've talked and matched with more woman , and met woman that I almost certainly wouldn't have met had i put my true height.

Like I said in the previous thread, I don't see it any differently than wearing a padded bra or a face full of makeup. ( not me! )

@Bionicman women know that men lie about their height, and detract few inches off. So yes, if you put 5'9, I would assume you're around 5'6. But that's not women's fault that you have to do that, it's all the men that exaggerate their height. I'm 5'6 and the number of 5'11 guys that I've been on a first dates that are just about bit taller than me...

I think it would be rather rude to assume that anyone slim is obsessed with their weight. I am 5'4 and thanks to IBD trying, and struggling, to maintain my weight at 9 stone but keep slipping under because lots of foods cause me issues and severe stomach pain. I feel great if I don't eat anything at all, and often only have a proper meal at dinner. I know lots of middle-age women would probably love to have it this way around, but I hate it and would love be healthy and be able to just eat what I want. It's also an extra challenge when dating anyone new!

On the dating side have been on the apps on and off since September, had one brief thing with someone which left me feeling quite burned so probably not ready for anything serious. Have one potential FWB lined up.
Rejoined Hinge this week and seem to be getting lots more likes from very young men, didn't have that before. The youngest so far was only 19!😧 On balance the oldest has been 68, never had this sort of range in likes before!😄

Argh I didn't realise that myself and it's an awkward question to ask before you meet up "are you genuinely the height you say on your profile". I now will ask though as it's a deal breaker for me really.

@Bionicman it is different actually.

I'd be annoyed with a man saying he's 5'11" when he's actually around 5'9" because on a date I'd be taller than him (me at 5'7" plus 3 inch heels). No amount of him insisting he's 5'11" and it's me who's confused about my own height would get me to go on another date with such a person.

It's a bit like those 54 year olds who claim to be 49 in their headline, then write "oh the system got it wrong, can't change it", when what they really mean is "I want to be seen by those who limit their filters to age 50".

Neither of those actions indicate a man who is confident in himself, and again a man who is comfortable with himself is attractive to me.

I dislike the deception, and prefer men to just be who they are. Either a woman will like that, if they won't.

@DrinkingTooMuchPinot it has surprised me too all this interest from younger and older men. I've had to adjust my age range. Put 30 to 57 (I'm 55 😉)

I want some good sex, older men are not very attractive to me personally. I've got lots of offers from 30 somethings.

@PeachyKeane I have set my age range ro 39-51 (I'm 47) but think at least 30% of the likes this time round have been from 20-somethings! I never had that before, wonder if there's some social media Mrs Robinson dare going on or something!
I also find most men my age quite unappealing. My potential FWB is six years younger, and clearly on the rebound but that could work for me as I am not after anything serious right now.

@PeachyKeane I would only match with someone with a full body picture and from that I can normally guess their height (approximately). I'm also on an app where height isn't a filter so people either put it (or not) in the profile, so had to adapt 😅

We are on the same page 😉

I just want some fun sex really with a good looking (preferably tall 😅) man.

@Day99 I've even resorted to sending pics to my friends to see if they can work out height. One friend is 5 10 so she's very adept at calculations. One guy she sussed from the forearm to bottle of Jack Daniels ratio in one of his pictures 😅

Yes this would be perfect!😄

I won't have time to see my FWB candidate now until next month due to conflicting schedules, but have met him already and he's very promising (good-looking, fairly tall, emotionally unavailable). Hoping it works out but of course he is likely dating others as well now that I can't fit him in for the time-being. We'll see.

Another one told he he was just under 6 foot - seems 3/4 inches can be described as ‘just under’ apparently.

Did my due diligence before meeting and found his fb profile. One of his pics was with a very well known footballer and he literally came up to his shoulder. I googled the footballer and he’s 6’2 🤔

I did go on the date and he was a nice enough bloke but I couldn’t get past this initial dishonesty

PeachyKeane My friend is 5'9 & likes to wear heels. Her favourite OLD photos are when a man has a door/doorframe in the shot, then she can work out if he's tall enough for her!

And can I just say, why are so many men terrible at selfies? I can’t believe the amount of dreadful mirror selfies with the phone covering up half of their face or the full face pic with the phone almost touching their nose.