Anyone else have no friends?

[Lostworlds]

I’m in my early 30’s and have absolutely no friends. I don’t really know how it happened as I used to have friends but everyone drifted away from me. I put in a lot of effort and still people aren’t interested.
I had 2 close friends but turns out they weren’t my friends at all.

I’ve tried meeting people at baby and toddler groups, I’ve suggested meeting up with people I’m friendly with at work. I’ve gone out with my dh’s friends partners but nothing sticks. I’m on mat leave which means I’m at home a lot more than I’d like to be so I take the kids out a lot and do things otherwise I spend the day alone with my kids which is great but I don’t hear from any adults at all. No one ever makes the effort to contact me.

Sounds so pathetic and I have no idea what I’m asking here other than is anyone else like me?

Fabulous 😎

I’ve gone through periods of not having many friends. This has been due to a number of things- moving jobs and locations fairly frequently.

id say the worst time for me was my mid- late 20’s as it isn’t a great time to make friends. I currently feel like I have too many friends now because I struggle to fit in seeing people with also seeing my DP, working ft and kids.

I say this not to gloat, but to say feeling friendless is often temporary. It is often down to luck too. it just needs you to change something and it can open up new friendships - like doing a new hobby, or changing jobs.

i have a friend i made at work recently ( both in 40’s) - we agree that it can be hard to make friends as many other our age are spending their time with their young families, and ageing parents.

Persevere. And don’t take it too personally

Agree people are working full time then elder parents at wends. So time is tight for catchups.

I'm 33, friendless and in Glasgow 👋👋

Thrive isn’t religious. Maybe there’s another one?

I’m in Warwickshire. Have a few lovely friends (different groups) that I see fairly regularly and all but 1 are people whom I’ve worked with. The one is my hairdresser.

I would love a good friend who was quite local and wanted to chat nonsense over a cuppa every so often with me. It’s not that I don’t have friends (I’m pretty lucky that I do) but I don’t have that person to go to a Zumba class (or whatever) with regularly.

Wish MN could set up something that matched people as friends.

I literally could have wrote your post word for word 😞

Im going through this exact scenario so I understand how you're feeling ❤️

It’s a horrible thing to be feeling. My DH tonight has asked why I’m so bothered as we have a good life and I agree we do, I love our family unit but to have someone else to chat to would be great too.

Same here. Not one friend.

If anyone around Glasgow wants added to a WhatsApp group feel free to DM me your number.

DH is putting DS to bed and we're gonna binge watch the traitors so will set it up tomorrow 😊

I'm not far from hull. I'm 33

Me! I'm early 30s too and sound much like you. I was hoping I'd meet friends at toddler groups but I find it hard! I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety. I like being with people, but I feel like I'm constantly worried that they'll find what I say weird, or judge me in some way! I find it hard to just be myself and relax. I had friends growing up throughout school, then college. We drifted as I wouldn't be the first to make contact, it would always be their effort. I think it's a self confidence thing - like why would they want to hear from me or see me? And it's just got worse!
But no, you are clearly not alone in this!

Have been inspired by this thread so today I've signed up to a ballet taster session tomorrow, been to see a new gym and emailed two WI groups local to me to see what they're about. Thanks all and I hope you find what you're looking for.

Lovely, im Hessle area x

@Lostworlds the way you are feeling is not uncommon - loneliness is an epidemic now! i'm part of a few groups in glasgow/paisley if you don't mind me PMing you (one through discord, others through whatsapp)

I'm in the same position I moved 15 yes ago to live with my now husband and haven't made any real friends in that time. I went to toddler groups and invited people for play dates but once the kids started school that all stopped. I went back to work because I was so depressed and lonely and this helps to a point but I still feel like I am on the outside watching life and feel like their is something wrong with me as everyone else has friends. It doesn't help that I work 30 miles away from where I live and can't really socialise outside of work much as my husband works long hours and I have mum guilt when I am away from the kids as I work ft and have a 2 hour commute every day. This thread as made feel less alone and I do hope my situation will change when the kids are older.

Anyone in oxfordshire?

I am wondering if this is a modern phenomenon as we all seem to be in same boat. And I think about this too that when I’m older apart from dp and kids / immediate family, I will have no one :(

I only have two friends of the type I could message asking if they want to meet up. One is a genuine friend but very busy and unfortunately going through a lot at the moment so meeting seems to be an emotion dump which I'm not always able to cope with. The other is very self centred but really likes me and is free any time and has some decent conversation so a once weekly meet up works.

I have friends at work who'd happily go for lunch with me but don't need more friends outside of work. I have a hobby which involves superficial relationships with a fair number of people, I can chat to them for hours but none of us ever become outside friends.

I do think I am genuinely busy and enjoy my own company but it'd be nice to be part of a larger group that I could join when time and energy allow.

This post has really resonated with me, thanks so much OP for your braveness in sharing.
Birmingham, 45 if there’s anyone nearby.

Do you think it's worth joining Bumble?

My friend met a few through park runs and her choir. I agree with other posters its difficult. We have put ourselves out there too. I meet a few through my daughters sport the odd coffee

I find that too some dont want new women in the group. Hard to fit in then

I can’t believe the response I’ve had to this thread, I fully expected only one or two comments and for them to tell me to toughen up.

It makes me feel a bit better knowing I’m not alone in how I’m feeling but also saddens me that there are so many of us just wanting some companionship.

Love that so many of you are suggesting meet ups and joining new clubs! @SharpWriter please keep us updated on the ballet class tomorrow!

I’ve pm’d a few people who said they are close to Glasgow but I’m also always up for a chat so if anyone else wants to message for a general chat then please feel free to reach out to me!

I have one real friend I could message to meet up but since Covid she’s changed and I don’t feel we have anything in common anymore. I have a friend in Australia and that is it. I spend all my time with OH and feel very lonely. It’s hard to find people you really gel with in later life. I am 63.

We moved around a lot and it was hard to keep friendships going . Also moved a lot as a child, so really I have had very little stability and it’s been hard to put down roots and work at friendships. I have made friends in most of the places I’ve lived but once we moved on it was hard to maintain them.
If anyone is in a similar situation I would be happy to message.

@Pankoberry I'm in bedfordshire.

I'd like to make friends but find it hard to meet people.