Anyone else have no friends?

[Lostworlds]

I’m in my early 30’s and have absolutely no friends. I don’t really know how it happened as I used to have friends but everyone drifted away from me. I put in a lot of effort and still people aren’t interested.
I had 2 close friends but turns out they weren’t my friends at all.

I’ve tried meeting people at baby and toddler groups, I’ve suggested meeting up with people I’m friendly with at work. I’ve gone out with my dh’s friends partners but nothing sticks. I’m on mat leave which means I’m at home a lot more than I’d like to be so I take the kids out a lot and do things otherwise I spend the day alone with my kids which is great but I don’t hear from any adults at all. No one ever makes the effort to contact me.

Sounds so pathetic and I have no idea what I’m asking here other than is anyone else like me?

Hi hope you’re all doing okay! I’ve been added to a group lovely people from about Glasgow and it’s nice chatting to check in.

The majority of my friends have fully drifted away now. I’ve not seen the two people who I really believed to be my best friends since last year. After a bit of thinking, ot dawned on me that one moment i stopped suggesting my house for play dates is when they stopped inviting me places. It seems like my house was the best place for the children to trash and to eat all my food etc but i’m not good enough to be invited to their homes. I didn’t do it to have a return invite but when I suggested meeting up at parks or even a coffee/ night out etc it was constantly met with- yeah we’ll sort something.

I’ve reached out to some people I was friendly with a long time ago so trying to establish friendships elsewhere and it’s helping. Focusing on my hobbies and children just now though and trying to put my phone away so i’m not doom scrolling.

Hope you’re all less lonely 🤍

I'm so sorry it's like that. I have heard about such things and I fail to understand ir, when you are friends you are, you don't stop like that if you have a problem you talk simple as that. You don't invite to gain that's selfish, you give, and it's natural when you are friends you give back. But you don't expect. In my country it's common to visit at home so I don't get that either

Im really lonely. And no matter what I always seem to get taken advantage of.. no one invites me anywhere, no one calls me. I've been alone my whole life.. it sucks

This is so interesting. I haven't seen by closest uni friends since I stopped hosting them, their partners and their kids. Just couldn't be bothered with it and as such not heard from them in several months. When it was time for someone else to take it up, plans were never firmed up and subsequently withered away. I don't care though and I wouldn't go back to hosting either. Can't be bothered to clear the mess after or to deal with rude kids..I have your DHs mindset, happy with my little unit.

Hope you find your people OP :)

Im aggressive about meeting friends and do all the work and connect people when I can. 99.99% of people never do the work so I have to and its lead to a few friendships but after a while you realize people have a lot of limitations so meeting a few good friends can still leave you to fend for yourself. We usd to have multi generational community but its all gone.

I'm so sorry, that sounds really hard, @Sudhir82. I think loneliness can definitely stem from childhood experiences. How you are treated influences how you see yourself and how you relate to others later on. There's a coach on Instagram who I find really helpful: www.instagram.com/nickwerber_?igsh=eWZ6cjcwYTN6bnM3

I have friends but a fair few live far away. I still keep in touch though and they are quite inspiring ones.

It is female friends I am starved of somewhat. Not in the mood to join any group and although finding a female on facebook is a possibility I am a bit put off as a local one I did bother to meet up with locally could only chat 90 per cent about herself and I barely got a look in.

I have two new male platonic friends which is useful in itself but independent women I am keen to hook up with. Even one local one would do these days. People often fail to offer two way conversations these days.

Im in a school mums app 5 us so I messaged last week. One has check her rota. Otherwise its chasing people up to meet. Im 50s. Def finding people gone flakier now