I made a mistake - is he overreacting

[Frenchvanilla1991]

We started dinner for new years Day and I was opening a bottle of fizz. I have often been moaned at for not opening the bottle of fizz over the sink so I realised after standing at the bin and removing the foil etc I need to open it over the sink. Did this in a rush as the cork worked it's way up and ended up hitting the edge of the bottle off the composite sink and taking a tiny chip out of it. He went mad at me and had me in tears, telling me I have no respect for our things. I was trying to be respectful by moving to the sink. I felt honestly very upset and scared as there was nothing I could do to calm him down from the damage I'd done and he kept berating me for not taking care of the house (i really try to) . AIBU? I'll attach a photo of the damage for context.

Well that was a great New Year’s dinner.

Time for him to learn that people matter more than a composite sink. It was an accident. I really hope you didn’t spend the next hour pleading and apologising.

He sounds completely controlling is this normal behaviour?

Yes he is overreacting. You didn’t purposely damage the sink, this was an accident. Accidents happen and people might initially swear a bit about something that is annoying/ costly, but making you feel scared is abusive. Did he apologise when he calmed down? If not, you need to have a serious talk with him about behaviour, respect and anger management.

Sorry don't know how to share without it being really outing and linking to my Google Account but it's a tiny chip. The conversation ended when I said I'd pay for damages agter being upset and spoken down to for a good half hour. Horrible NY lunch

If this is his normal behaviour you need to end this relationship - unless you think he will learn a lesson from receiving a bollocking which is what he would have got from me.

Presumably there can be some sort of repair done? If not, it wasn’t the best choice of fitting.

Dear God, OP you need to have a hard think about this. He needs to apologise and be very aware that if he ever speaks to you like that again, you’re done.

Thanks. Yes it can be repaired and at end of the day I looked online and it's about £250 for a new one. It is barely noticeable but he said, he will notice it. There was no Policy for me being upset at all and just absolute frustration at how shit I am

Do you break many things being careless and not paying attention?

If you do then I can understand his reaction.

However - your post does not seem to be saying you do. What I am getting from your post is a scared and tired woman, who feels mentally battered.

This is not going to get better, its time to move on

You are not shit - you are better than this, you deserve better

You need to speak calmly and briefly - no tears. You need to be very serious. It probably needs to wait until tomorrow. But he needs to know in no uncertain terms that there must never be a repeat of this.

Is it your house? His house? Joint? Have you damaged lots of things before?

In what way did he get mad at you?

Do you often damage things opening bottles?

Unless you're perpetually walking round his house smashing bottles into things, it seems very OTT!

Is thos a DH or DP? Are there children or a joint mortgage involved?

The undertone here is a little worrying OP. A simple and genuine mistake doesn't deserve that type of reaction

His reaction is waaAAaaaaaAAaaaYyyy too much.

Are you chaotic, however? Both of these things can be true, it's not one or the other.

I don't think I have broken things often. He tried to say I have ruined other things in the new kitchen and the example I gave him turned out to be his sister that did it. I asked him for examples and he couldn't give me any but just kept ranting that I don't look affer stuff but maybe I don't. It's always one sided I know so I don't think I have but maybe I have

LTB and his shit, chipped composite sink. Those things always look horrendous after a couple of years anyway.

Its a fucking chip. He's being ridiculous. Accidents happen. Is it his home or your home together? I think you've got a bigger issue than a little chip if he carries on like that.

You're in an abusive relationship. I'm sorry.

Should also say it's our kitchen we both paid for , not just me going round ruining his house

Sorry figured out how to post a photo too

Are you a clumsy person? Do you break / damage things all the time? I'm just wondering where the anger and frustration is coming from, not that it makes it okay, it seems very extreme.

Had you been drinking? Is this part of a pattern

Cause honestly I would be angry if I had asked you several times to do it over the sink

Calm conversation tomorrow once you have both calmed down

OMG it was an accident.

You can barely notice it.

Leave him.

Well that was as clear as mud.

I would notice it. I have that sort of eye. I think it's super human, OCD related,gift. However, it was an accident. Are you often walking on eggshell and worrying about what you are doing and how you are doing it?