Greeting partner at the door when returns from work

[nextwed14]

Do you greet your husband/partner at the door when they return from work?? I am usually busy cooking dinner or tidying up when he comes home so I usually carry on doing what I am doing rather than meet him in the hallway. He says I am cold towards him and he would love me to leave what I am doing to greet him as he walks in the door after a busy day at work. I would never expect him to do that to me and would find it weird if he did.

I am finding him becoming very needy lately whereas I am the opposite and have never been quite as needy for affection and attention.

My exh wanted my undivided attention immediately on his arrival home. It was bizarre. So I did as he requested. But then he has annoyed, said I was hassling him and said he needed time to decompress.

Couldn't fucking win with that bloke.

Good luck to his new wife doormat.

Hmmm. I think it’s a bit sad but at the same time, don’t you want to make him happy?

I don’t think you need to greet him at the door but equally if he walks into the kitchen it would be nice for you to look at him, smile, say hello and give him a kiss. It takes seconds, makes him feel good and will bring you closer?

It sounds a bit needy (much like my own lovely DH) but after some of the ways I hear men treat women on here, I think I'd just run to hug him when he came in a couple of times per week, just to make him happy.

My dad actually said he was heartbroken the first time I didn't run and leap at him when he got home. And he's a big, manly, very un-needy man.

We often do that especially if the other has had a very long day, it started as a bit of a joke, after a very stressful experience I said I’m going to pout a huge glass of wine when I get in, as I opened the front door their he stood with my glass of wine and a happy face. But if either of us are in the middle of something then we don’t do it, although a hug and kiss greeting is always made once we see each other. Right now I am out walking the dogs, he’ll keep an eye on where I am and as I walk in he will be standing with a coffee in one hand and a bacon sarnie in the other. Yes we both have find my on our phones, we have hobbies that we do alone (horse ride/mountain bike) so installed originally in case of an accident

If I see him coming, I sometimes do it precisely to freak him out 😆.

DD will often greet us at the door though - she's 3 and still excited to see us if we've been out all day.

It depends what I'm doing. I never go to the door though. Normally I'm busy doing something and he'll come and give me a kiss on the cheek.

Get a dog. Then he will have an enthusiastic greeting everytime 😁

If your fella is asking you to do that, as someone has just said above, tell them to get a dog.

Sometimes I catch myself doing it - but only because I was bought up very strictly and even though we had a servant opening the door, it would have been considered the height of rudeness not to come forward to greet them (after my parents did).

Worked in reverse too, we were expected to escort visitors to the front door when they left. And not to close the front door until they were out of sight. 40 years later I still find that training hard to undo!

Most of the time our two cats greet him at the door. I think he enjoys that more!

🤣🤣🤣

No, I do not greet H at the door! Sometimes if he sees me walking down the path, he'll open the door to save me from rummaging around in my pigsty of a bag for my keys but if he consistently opened the door to greet me, I'd ask what he's done wrong/what's happened!

Well, he's showing you what he wants. Sounds like you need to have a talk about your relationship, if he is happy, and how he can improve his life to fill the gap that the growing children has left him with.

I can understand how he's feeling, although he's not putting it very well. You clearly have your life sorted and he's feeling a bit out of place and uncertain of his role now that the kids have grown.

❤️

I would imagine doing every day would feel like a duty and not really provide whatever feeling he is seeking; but as he's been open about this perhaps if you're downstairs and hear him come in now and again make an effort to hug him as he comes in?

DH does shifts, so comes and goes at funny times.

Either, he gets home and I'm still working (usually on a Teams call) so he leaves me be till I finish work a couple of hours later.

Or I'm already in bed and asleep before he gets home, or working when he leaves for work so he just slips out without trying to disturb me..

If I'm working in the office, and he's home before me he will come outside, meet me at my car and take my laptop bag etc off me.

I would say, generally DH is more needy than me.

I do the total opposite. When I see his car pull up I run upstairs.

Checks date to make sure I’m not back in 1930s….. !!!
id suggest to him that you’re happy to see him home, but it’s a busy time in the family home!
try calling out hello when he comes in, but definitely don’t pander to his huge ego by greeting him at the door!! He sounds like a spoilt child to be honest!!

I find men become easily hurt by little things but most are able to reason themselves into understanding it's not personal it's business. It's a courtesy to be met at the door, nice not to have to reach into pockets to get keys to open the door. It's how I now meet my DP and they now do the same for me when they see me outside. The difference is we are now empty nesters. It wasn't like this when we had our hands full with kids, homework, supper and baths.

It reminds me of the lyrics to 'Wives and Lovers':

Hey! Little Girl
Comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger
You needn't try anymore
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you

This was written in the 1960s. Tell your DH that we have moved on since then.

I’d feel suffocated if I was met at the door. Let me shuck off my coat, bag, shoes, have a wee, etc, then come and find you. Equally I let people be when they come in, they can find me. And why should I stop whatever task or thought I’m in the middle of just because this is the time you’re coming home? Weird.

Because it's old fashioned and needy to want your wife to drop everything as soon as she hears the key in the door to rush to greet you at the front door.

He can come into the kitchen where she is cooking dinner after a full day's work and greet her and offer to help.

My husband has a few things to bring into the house on his return from work so if I hear him outside I will unlock the door and take some stuff out of his hands.

He would do the same for me if he knew I was coming back with shopping.
But its not expected.

Just because OP doesn't stop her dinner preparations to rush to greet her DH at the front door as soon as she hears his key in the door doesn't mean that he has permission to cheat on her and it will serve her right.

I WFH 4 days a week, so I'm actually busy working when he gets back home. So no, I don't drop everything to greet him (I'm also two floors up from the front door, so sod that!). I say hello when he brings me a cup of tea (if I'm not on the phone).

The dog goes to say hello to him, so he does get a greeting.

The day I'm in the office, he picks me up from the station, so doesn't greet me either (the dog does though!).

I'd find it weird if he wanted me to drop everything to greet him.

Are you a Labrador?

If yes then YABU

If no then YANBU