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Original poster

Greeting partner at the door when returns from work

217 replies

nextwed14 · 20/12/2024 19:29

Do you greet your husband/partner at the door when they return from work?? I am usually busy cooking dinner or tidying up when he comes home so I usually carry on doing what I am doing rather than meet him in the hallway. He says I am cold towards him and he would love me to leave what I am doing to greet him as he walks in the door after a busy day at work. I would never expect him to do that to me and would find it weird if he did.

I am finding him becoming very needy lately whereas I am the opposite and have never been quite as needy for affection and attention.

OP posts:
Onlyvisiting · 20/12/2024 22:40

nextwed14 · 20/12/2024 22:22

I will always shout hi or hello if I hear him but if I am upstairs and he has come in the back door - I sometimes don't hear him. Likewise if he uses the front door and I am in the kitchen with the fan and oven on I don't always hear him.

Some mornings he does wave me off - he tries to wave the teens off to school and they hate it. I think he is lot more insecure than me and needs to feel loved. He would love me to spend more time with him and shower him with love and affection but I do have hobbies and friends which means he is not constantly my number one priority 24/7 and I think he struggles with this because I think maybe I am his. I am able to do a food shop alone, go to bed at a different time to him, read a book on my own instead of maybe sitting and watching TV with him. He definitely needs me more than I need him. I can't work out of this is a good thing or not . He has started asking me if I miss him when he is at work as well and the other day I said "no" because I am so busy after I've finished work dealing with admin etc, housework, talking to the kids etc I don't really think about him.

That was very ......blunt of you....
I'm trying to think of a good way to say this. But do you like him? Look forward to seeing him ever? Enjoy spending time with just the 2 of you? Because the way you describe your relationship and emotions I can see why he might be feeling a bit insecure in your affections. Now being over clingy and needy obviously isn't going to fix that, but not a astonishing reaction.
You don't want to be bothered when you are rushing around doing family stuff after work, but could you think about spending more time together alone on a regular basis? If your kids are older then could you go out 1 night a week just the 2 of you?

MissTrip82 · 20/12/2024 22:41

I don’t think it’s needy to want to be acknowledged when you get home.

We both pause what we’re doing (unless on a call or in the loo) and kiss/ask how day was etc.

I don’t think either of us is especially needy.

Lindy2 · 20/12/2024 22:45

Generally whoever is coming through the door goes into the room where the other is and we have a little conversation about our respective days.

The cat is quite good at greeting people at the door - as long as their arrival doesn't interrupt her sleep time.

I don't think I've ever greeted my husband at the door and neither has he greeted me like that. Frankly I'd find it a bit weird. Are you supposed to loiter by the door ready to jump out in greeting mode?

I'd be telling him straight to stop being so ridiculous and needy.

Shityshitybangbang · 20/12/2024 22:45

I have never done that, I find that bizarre.
but my partner works outside and in the winter if it’s been snowing and freezing, I have occasionally ran his bath for him coming home. I only work 9-1

AnyoneSomeone · 20/12/2024 22:47

If I'm watching House of Games I barely hear him come in tbh.

CitizenZ · 20/12/2024 22:48

OK, I will go against the grain... Me and the dog do a whole 'Daddy is home' thing. We all dance around and hug, and then the dog gets his toy to show him. We swapped around because I used to get home after him, either way we do it. We make a big thing about it, always will. Married 22 years. We won't always be able to do it, but for now we will.

Franjipanl8r · 20/12/2024 22:49

Some people need personal space and quiet to decompress when they get home. I definitely don’t want a hug and a kiss whilst I’m trying to take my coat and shoes off.

Franjipanl8r · 20/12/2024 22:50

@Lindy2 Love that the cat does the meet and greet 😆

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2024 22:51

The dog goes crazy, gets giddy
and brings a toy to DP.
I am more demure. If I'm downstairs, then I go and say hello, hug, kiss.
But today was in my office doing an online traiing exam and totally ignored him.

StormingNorman · 20/12/2024 22:52

I do quite often greet him at the door because he forgets his key 😂

NoIdeaWhatsHappeningHere · 20/12/2024 22:53

I'll usually text DH to say I'm home. He never tells me he's home.

I'm wondering now if that's odd and we should be kissing and saying hello...

Daisybuttercup12345 · 20/12/2024 23:09

Well Mum used to tidy herself and put a clean apron on. Toys tidied away and children ready for bed. Dad greeted at the door and tea ready. Early 60s.
All that changed when she started working. He had to help around the house, look after kids and have her tea ready instead lol

rebelrun · 20/12/2024 23:09

My DH also gets a bit moody sometimes if noone takes much notice when he comes home. We have 2 DS and sometimes they are mid watching something on TV etc . However he also gets moody if he comes home and then gets bombarded with us wanting to show and tell our days.🙄
And…it really annoys me when he rings the bell instead of using his keys. I am often cooking me then the dog goes troppo and I have to wash hands etc to go and open the bloody door. I always use my keys , I wouldn’t expect him to drop everything and answer the door just because I can’t be bothered to use my keys (and because I know that the doorbell sets the dog off) 🙄🙄.

PlopSofa · 20/12/2024 23:15

That’s quite sad OP.

does he have any outside interests or hobbies?

He loves you and wants to be loved in a certain kind of way.

you could read the 5 love languages, maybe his love language is acts of affection.

yours might be something else.

Pottingup · 20/12/2024 23:23

I think I’d take it as an invitation to stage Closeau v Cato type elaborate ambushes on him when he comes in.

NewName24 · 20/12/2024 23:24

Lindy2 · 20/12/2024 22:45

Generally whoever is coming through the door goes into the room where the other is and we have a little conversation about our respective days.

The cat is quite good at greeting people at the door - as long as their arrival doesn't interrupt her sleep time.

I don't think I've ever greeted my husband at the door and neither has he greeted me like that. Frankly I'd find it a bit weird. Are you supposed to loiter by the door ready to jump out in greeting mode?

I'd be telling him straight to stop being so ridiculous and needy.

Same.
I'd be a bit creeped out if dh leapt out into the hall the minute my key went into the lock Hmm

I laughed when I read your title - I assumed it was going to be a joke / funny thread. Am really shocked there are a a couple of people who do do this.

mumda · 20/12/2024 23:32

You need a fifties outfit to wear. Maybe that's what he wants.

Isatis · 20/12/2024 23:35

For us, whoever comes in last usually goes to find the other to say hallo. But that may be after a loo visit or something similar. DH doesn't come to greet me if I'm in last, and vice versa - unless one of use has been away overnight or longer.

Orders76 · 20/12/2024 23:42

I generally would if not in the middle of something else, as I love him and happy to see him home.
But if stuck into something, no and he wouldn't think anything of it.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 20/12/2024 23:54

Er, no! That's the dogs job!

Lossyfloss · 20/12/2024 23:57

Yes I do unless I'm right in the middle of something I can't leave. Which isn't often.

I'd find it really odd not to. We haven't seen each other all day, it's nice to have a kiss hello. We even had a family hug in the hall when my husband got home today! We do have an excited 4 year old however.

If we've just popped out shopping etc we'll say hello and offer to help the other bring it in but wouldn't be the same greeting as after work.

If I'd been out all day and was the last one home I'd think it a bit off if my husband just carried on and didn't come to say hi while I'm coming in. (Unless he was indisposed obviously).

Whatwouldnanado · 20/12/2024 23:59

Dh routinely comes in when I am cooking. I shout hi, he comes into the kitchen and we kiss hello. Then he puts the kettle on. Suited us for 34 years.

crumblingschools · 21/12/2024 00:03

He needs a dog!

AcrossthePond55 · 21/12/2024 00:05

We're retired now, but no, not as a rule did either of us run to the door when the other came home. My housewife mum (born 1922) didn't even do that back in the day for my dad (born 1914). She would be in the kitchen cooking and he'd go into the kitchen give her a kiss on the cheek and they'd chat for a minute before he headed off for a shower. I guess she was a failure as a 1950s housewife.

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