Greeting partner at the door when returns from work

[nextwed14]

Do you greet your husband/partner at the door when they return from work?? I am usually busy cooking dinner or tidying up when he comes home so I usually carry on doing what I am doing rather than meet him in the hallway. He says I am cold towards him and he would love me to leave what I am doing to greet him as he walks in the door after a busy day at work. I would never expect him to do that to me and would find it weird if he did.

I am finding him becoming very needy lately whereas I am the opposite and have never been quite as needy for affection and attention.

If I was in the kitchen/elsewhere, it would be my late DH who would find to me to say hi. And vice versa if I was the one arriving home later.

So yes, there was a greeting, but with the person arriving taking the lead on it.

If he starts later than you does he wave you off in the morning?

Dh doesn’t appreciate being ambushed at the door and needs a moment to take off his coat and put his bag away. But then he comes and finds me for a kiss and a cuddle. Never leaves without one either.

This is actually a good point.

Why is it you that is having to go and greet him at the door?

If this is something he wants like PPs parents, then why not come into the kitchen and give you a kiss and greet each other.

Why is he more important than you?

No. That’s the dogs job. Same when I’m the one returning from work.

I do tend to because we foster x2 children and have birth children at home. It's loud and busy and it's nice to give him a minute of my time to acknowledge he's home, give a quick whispered update about any behaviours, meetings with social work, kiddies needs etc etc. he wouldn't have an opinion if I didn't. But we do seek each other out throughout the day anyway to make sure everyone is ok.

….. and on weekends he paints his cave 🥴

I arrive home and I don't get any help with the kids or the bags or shopping. I don't get a cup of tea made. I might get a hello shout at me.

If I'm downstairs I always give a quick hug to family coming home, I wouldn't drop everything though if I was tied up in a job.

I work from home and DH gets in about 4 when im usually still working mostly in meetings so no I don’t

if I’m not on a call I’ll wander out of the office to say hello but generally no it has to wait till I’ve finished working

Do you acknowledge him when he comes in at all? Like- running to the door like the family dog would be weird. But surely you can call out hello from wherever you are I'm the house, 'hi, I'm in the kitchen ' or whatever and he come and find you, say hi, quick hug or whatever?
It sounds very 50s housewife expectations initially- until I think that if I went into my home and no one even acknowledged that I'd come in or acted remotely pleased to see me or that they had even noticed I wasn't there then I'd feel a bit unloved tbh.

I can’t even think what we do. I’m usually in last (I work much longer hours than him). I think I I shout “woo hoo” when I come in. DP shouts “hello darling” back. I go and take My shoes off then go and find him for a kiss or a “bloody hell what a day” or whatever works that day. There’s no set ritual.

we always kiss before one of us leaves in the morning though. No matter how irritating he is.

We always kiss and make sure we do but at the door would be weird.

I would make an exit plan. He is clearly listening to Andrew Tate crap.

😆 your husband is nuts! Has he gone back in time and thinks it’s the 1950s?

Generally if one of us comes home from somewhere the other will wander down to say hello - obviously not if we were busy/working or whatever, but when I get home from the office and shout hello upstairs he'll always come down and chat to me about my day in the kitchen and vice versa if he's been out for the afternoon or whatever.

That's generally more because we spend the majority of our time in our own office/hobby rooms at home, which are upstairs, so we would come down and say hello rather than just shouting hi. If I/he was already in the kitchen then we'd just walk in there and say hello ourselves instead of waiting for them to come to the hallway, that seems odd!!

We do. The one who’s been working at home will greet the other coming in from work at the door - the dog will rush to say hello and we all have a cuddle in the hallway . It’s a nice end to the working day.

🤣🤣

I always pop to the door/down the stairs to say hello when hubby gets home, and he does the same. Sometimes a quick hello and then back to my task, or sometimes I’ll follow him upstairs while he changes etc so we can chat. I’m a Labrador person though so it fulfils a need for me as well as him! Can’t hurt, might also put a spring in your step too to have a few minutes engaging ☺️

I will always shout hi or hello if I hear him but if I am upstairs and he has come in the back door - I sometimes don't hear him. Likewise if he uses the front door and I am in the kitchen with the fan and oven on I don't always hear him.

Some mornings he does wave me off - he tries to wave the teens off to school and they hate it. I think he is lot more insecure than me and needs to feel loved. He would love me to spend more time with him and shower him with love and affection but I do have hobbies and friends which means he is not constantly my number one priority 24/7 and I think he struggles with this because I think maybe I am his. I am able to do a food shop alone, go to bed at a different time to him, read a book on my own instead of maybe sitting and watching TV with him. He definitely needs me more than I need him. I can't work out of this is a good thing or not . He has started asking me if I miss him when he is at work as well and the other day I said "no" because I am so busy after I've finished work dealing with admin etc, housework, talking to the kids etc I don't really think about him.

According to a somewhat flawed study in the 1980s research, men who kiss their wives goodbye each day lived on average 5 years longer than men who don’t, and earned more money than their non kissing counterparts.

Nope and nor would he expect me to, same if I've been in the office and he's been at home i don't expect to be greeted

Jesus Christ this level of neediness would drive me mad / irritate me / make me love him less / make my vagina clamp shut / all of the above.

I really love my DP. I think he’s the absolute best. If I needed to demonstrate it 24/7 that love would wane for sure. He knows I love him. I show it regularly in grown up ways. I tell him regularly. I don’t need to pant at his side like a puppy.

I usually go to the entrance hall to hug and kiss DP when he arrives. He unlocks the door and calls as he arrives, we look forward to seeing each other, no hug and kiss would feel odd.

We also sit and watch TV together, go to bed together etc. We have times apart, eg I go for a bath and he reads, but generally we are affectionate.

In all honesty you sound quite cold towards him, but nothing wrong with that if you were both happy.

Not 100% of the time, if I am in the middle of something, like doing the washing up. But will greet from where I am and head towards where he is and kiss and greet once I have cleaned my hands. Failing that, he comes to me.