My husband punched me in the face

[Helpmetalktomeplease]

He hit me in the face into the stone floor twice my lips swollen my cheek is blue and swollen. I ran upstairs with my phone to call the police but he snatched it I yelled out the window to help and call the police but no one heard/cares. Now I'm just frozen and scared I don't know what to do.... I do but I'm too scared he pays for everything if I call the police he'll lose his job and we'll lose the house and I'm so scared the kids will be taken away. He's getting angry now that I won't watch TV with him he keeps angrily saying "I said I was sorry" but he's not he's cross I'm not over it yet. I just want someone to talk to right now, womens aid were busy, my family won't care and my friends arent very close to me, they can't help. I have no one

Chances are you have a fractured cheek bone so you are going to have to get that looked at anyway.

Could you come down and out of the house with your phone and call the police. Do it around the corner in the dark so he can't batter you further.

He may kill you one day. This is your one golden chance to stop that ever happening.

Good, they will likely look after you then. Take photos of your injuries.

OP you are likely in shock. All your responses are natural and understandable, given that you are being abused, by an abusive man.

You are not alone. There are dozens of us on here, with you. There are people in Women's Aid and good people in the police who can and will help.

Please call 999
And later, once they're gone and have taken him, call 08082000247 for the national domestic abuse helpline

Please call the police. Your lives will be so much better without the abuse.

She said "I work for the police"

I know you are scared but you have a duty of care to your children. Failure to safeguard them means that social services will see them as at risk.
There are quite a few police officers who have gone on to kill their partners.
Please make the call.

@Helpmetalktomeplease it wont be your fault if he loses his job though!! you may very well lose your life at his hands!! so what is the worse loss?? what is the first thing said to an abused woman?? "you have done the right thing by phoning us!" do it, just phone the police now! so what is everyone knows?? do you not think they will know when they seeyou with a pudding lip or a black eye?? everyone knows!

I think you probably know this, but I hope it helps to read this.

You are not ruining anything by calling the police. He has ruined everything by being violent and controlling. Your safety needs to be your priority.

You're stronger than you realise, and better days lie ahead. But you have to get yourself to a place of safety first.

Try and get the anger that you would summon if it was happening to a friend or your daughter when she grows up and then apply the anger to your own situation.
Please call 999 and press 5 and cough.

Hope you are okay, OP. Unfortunately now that it has happened it will probably happen again, especially if there aren’t any consequences. Things like that are rarely a one off. Do you want to stay in a relationship like that? Could you get your own place and go it alone with the children? 🌺

Sorry OP, I know from my own violent marriage it just gets worse. It fucks your kids up. I see now that he was close to killing me. Tell the truth, please please please. Men kill women especially at this time of the year. Think of your children. Get Police and lawyer.

That's not an excuse to let him get away with serious violence like this!
You won't be the first police staff member to have been hurt by a violent partner.

There is no shame in it- he's a violent coward.

Having a house is NOT an excuse to stay with a brute.

You will survive , even if you have to downsize. Many women do.

I wasn’t strong , I was twice in your shoes
I became strong when I left… over time
please keep talking to us
sending a big ((hug))

Yes, once a man {or woman} has crossed the Rubicon into violence, there is rarely any way back.

Once he has 'broken the seal' on violence, it becomes the new normal.

I've only read your posts, OP.

Id like to say

A) You know you're going to have to leave him at some point so sooner is better than later.

B) Even if everyone finds out, no one is really interested. They have their own problems. You'll move on and they'll talk to you about 2025 or whatever happens next in your life.

C) Make the phone call!

I say this as someone who left for a women's refuge.

You (and he) are ruining your kids lives if you stay.

He is responsible for his evil behaviour.
You are responsible for your behaviour. Staying is on you.

I’ve been in a violent relationship and I’m beyond pussyfooting on this shit. Leave or accept that your kids and you areemotionally destroyed

@Helpmetalktomeplease . Am keeping you in my thots. Hoping you quiet as result of appropriate action.
plese believe the hertfelt concern in responses is absolutely genuine.Is not sicko rubbernecking event fill a dull moment n internet.
Support for you right now is essential.
Its no secret that more than a handful of group have experience of dv. I think all/any who have been where you are right now find it any less horrendous than did at the time.
Dont look it as a choice-do i dont i,what about house kids etc.Right now- it is an absolute essential safeguarding appropriate response to call/report.
Sending hugs n love x

Nope, he is very much responsible for her fear. OP fight or flight mode is normal. But make the call so you can get somewhere safe to work the rest out.

A police officer once told me that it takes on average 3 calls to the police before a victim of domestic abuse finally leaves their abuser.
It took me 4 times.
What pushed me over the edge?
Not the black eyes, the knocked out teeth or even the window being smashed in my face...
I saw my children running around laughing and playing in the garden together, not a care in the world until their dad appeared. Their laughter instantly becoming quiet, their eyes fixing on me and wondering if today was a good day or a bad day.
Denial will not help you, thinking your children are not affected by the situation is selfish (I did it too).
They see and hear more than you realise!
You are not throwing your life away, you are gaining a new one. It's terrifying and completely unpredictable, raising 4 kids alone was a struggle at times but you learn to cope and the bonds you create with those little people along the way are worth every second of the struggles to come.
Good luck. And if you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children.
P.s- social services are not the enemy. They will help those who are willing to help themselves.

Very worrying. [For the safety of the children present in the house] Hopefully someone will quickly intervene.

@Helpmetalktomeplease Lord 'Scummerset'' {Somerset} one of the sons of one of the wealthiest 'Society' families in England was jailed for beating his wife for many years.

Domestic violence cuts across all classes.

No shame.

People won't judge, they will be ''Thank goodness his wife {edit : and Children } and any pets escaped''.

Does this mean more to you than your life does? You need to get out of this situation!

@Helpmetalktomeplease you’ve done really well. This is very hard stuff and you are likely in shock.

I know this feeling of paralysis - it is awful.

my advice:
You put 999 in your phone and just wait.
All you need is one minute where you feel strong and you just do it - you push the button and when it’s answered you say “Hello my name is … “ and it will all just flow from there.

good luck 🤞

You have nothing to feel ashamed about! So call the police, your colleagues knowing is no excuse to not call for help. You would advise the same to another abused person at work so take your own advice. Please 🙏🏼