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Original poster

Who is likely the father ?

253 replies

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 02:32

Hi everyone

This is a no judgement zone and I’d just like everyone’s thoughts as I am unsure and just extremely anxious and it’s causing me stress.

On January 13th 2024 I had a period that lasted until the 16th January.

On my period tracker app, it states that my ovulation date was 24th but changed to 25th (or the other way around). My fertile days were 21st Jan until the 27th Jan 2024. During this time I did an ovulation test on the 24th and 25th Jan but I still ended up having unprotected sex and ended up pregnant.

Mr A - we had unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated inside me on the 1st of Jan, 9th of Jan, 17th of Jan and 23rd of Jan at around 9/10pm.

Mr B - we had unprotected sex on the 19th of Jan and 29th of Jan but he didn’t ejacutlate inside me on the 19th of Jan.

My baby was born on 12 October 2024 due to being induced early. My EDD was 19th Jan due to period calculations and my final EDD from my first scan was the 16th of oct.

I do see a lot of similarities in the baby to Mr A and so do my friends and family.

Mr B, not at all, but I’d still just like to have a peace of mind.

me and Mr A were a thing but used to mess up so we’d make up and break up a lot in a small space of time. However, then he suddenly switched on me whereas mr B it was just a fling here and there whom I only slept with twice.

I know I am stupid for this, I feel it, but I just want to know everyone’s thoughts.

thank you

OP posts:
Ph3 · 10/12/2024 02:37

The only way to know for sure is with a paternity test. We can all speculate who is the most likely contender but it will be just that speculation. The dates from the scan and not 100 percent accurate. With my eldest the conception window I was given was when my DH was away… obviously that wasn’t right 🤣 só can’t rely on this.

QueSyrahSyrah · 10/12/2024 02:37

If you want peace of mind you'll need a DNA test I think.

heartbroken22 · 10/12/2024 02:41

Mr A. But please have a paternity test to be sure.

RogueFemale · 10/12/2024 02:42

Get the test done, then you'll know. Better to know for sure. Presume if only two contenders you'd only need to ask one of them for a DNA sample.

RogueFemale · 10/12/2024 02:44

And P.S. it's not 'stupid' as you say, it's just one of those things.

LauderSyme · 10/12/2024 02:50

I don't judge you. Life happens. Literally!

Based purely on your ovulation dates and unprotected sex dates it does seem more likely that Mr A is the father.

You say the baby bears no resemblance to Mr B. However I have watched plenty of Lauren Lake's Paternity Court, where disputed fathers do DNA tests to determine the truth, and quite often the man it seems obvious must be the father based on looks, turns out not to be.

You can only really have full peace of mind by doing your own DNA test. In case you would need the results to stand up in court, the DNA samples must follow a certified chain of custody and be processed by a licensed laboratory.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:00

heartbroken22 · 10/12/2024 02:41

Mr A. But please have a paternity test to be sure.

Hello. Thanks for the advice and your insight. Yes I will be sure to do a DNA test in my own time. Thank you !

OP posts:
zebrazoop · 10/12/2024 03:04

DNA test .

Can I suggest you use condoms if sleeping with several men. STI's can be nasty.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:07

zebrazoop · 10/12/2024 03:04

DNA test .

Can I suggest you use condoms if sleeping with several men. STI's can be nasty.

Ok Mrs perfect!!

OP posts:
MouseMama · 10/12/2024 03:15

What happened with the ovulation tests you did on 24th and 25th? Did they confirm ovulation took place then?

Once you’ve ovulated your fertile window closes so if you know you ovulated on 24th/25th you can regard the sex on 29th as largely irrelevant. The intercourse without ejaculation on 19th is also likely to be irrelevant unless he ejaculated multiple times with you so that his pre-cum could have included live sperm.

Assuming your ovulation dates are accurate (ie you tested positive) then it seems very likely that the sex you had with Mr A on 23rd got you pregnant as that was during your peak fertile window.

Does Mr A and B have any other children? My children came out looking very very similar to each other as newborns so there could be no doubt they share the same father. It might help to see photos of other children if they have any.

Congratulations!

Harshtruth1111 · 10/12/2024 03:16

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:07

Ok Mrs perfect!!

Show quote history

She's trying to protect you.
Literally.
From aids and all sorts.

zebrazoop · 10/12/2024 03:19

Exactly! HIV isn't the death sentence if used to be but it's better not to have it!

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:24

MouseMama · 10/12/2024 03:15

What happened with the ovulation tests you did on 24th and 25th? Did they confirm ovulation took place then?

Once you’ve ovulated your fertile window closes so if you know you ovulated on 24th/25th you can regard the sex on 29th as largely irrelevant. The intercourse without ejaculation on 19th is also likely to be irrelevant unless he ejaculated multiple times with you so that his pre-cum could have included live sperm.

Assuming your ovulation dates are accurate (ie you tested positive) then it seems very likely that the sex you had with Mr A on 23rd got you pregnant as that was during your peak fertile window.

Does Mr A and B have any other children? My children came out looking very very similar to each other as newborns so there could be no doubt they share the same father. It might help to see photos of other children if they have any.

Congratulations!

Hello. Thank you for your response.

Yes both tests were positive for ovulation.

Mr A has two children and one of them looks like my child.

Mr b has no children.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:29

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 02:32

Hi everyone

This is a no judgement zone and I’d just like everyone’s thoughts as I am unsure and just extremely anxious and it’s causing me stress.

On January 13th 2024 I had a period that lasted until the 16th January.

On my period tracker app, it states that my ovulation date was 24th but changed to 25th (or the other way around). My fertile days were 21st Jan until the 27th Jan 2024. During this time I did an ovulation test on the 24th and 25th Jan but I still ended up having unprotected sex and ended up pregnant.

Mr A - we had unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated inside me on the 1st of Jan, 9th of Jan, 17th of Jan and 23rd of Jan at around 9/10pm.

Mr B - we had unprotected sex on the 19th of Jan and 29th of Jan but he didn’t ejacutlate inside me on the 19th of Jan.

My baby was born on 12 October 2024 due to being induced early. My EDD was 19th Jan due to period calculations and my final EDD from my first scan was the 16th of oct.

I do see a lot of similarities in the baby to Mr A and so do my friends and family.

Mr B, not at all, but I’d still just like to have a peace of mind.

me and Mr A were a thing but used to mess up so we’d make up and break up a lot in a small space of time. However, then he suddenly switched on me whereas mr B it was just a fling here and there whom I only slept with twice.

I know I am stupid for this, I feel it, but I just want to know everyone’s thoughts.

thank you

Hello everyone. Thank you to those responding to my query and for those who are mentioning that I should

  1. do a DNA test - yes. I plan to do this but in my own time. I guess I posted this to get some sort of idea of who the father could be. Regardless, either one would be a good father but it's just upsetting that I would probably not get back with mr a due to my own reasons and mr b was simply a fling.
  2. I am aware that there are STD's and STI's floating about in the world. I get tested regularly and I am very serious about these sort of things. But please, as the post mentions, this is a no judgement zone!

Thanks again all

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 10/12/2024 03:30

Whoever you are asking for child maintenance is surely going to want a dna test, even if he doesn’t know about the other potential father. Since you weren’t in a long term, stable relationship, either man would be foolish not to get one.

when you say you will get one “in my own time” does that mean neither man even knows about the baby?

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:31

Ponderingwindow · 10/12/2024 03:30

Whoever you are asking for child maintenance is surely going to want a dna test, even if he doesn’t know about the other potential father. Since you weren’t in a long term, stable relationship, either man would be foolish not to get one.

when you say you will get one “in my own time” does that mean neither man even knows about the baby?

They both know I've had the baby.

OP posts:
Ph3 · 10/12/2024 03:32

I hope this is not too blunt - don’t want to be rude but you have mentioned twice that you will be doing a DNA test in your own time… so the possible father (s) have no contact with the child? I think it’s important for you to do one ASAP so they can develop bond with baby…

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:36

Ph3 · 10/12/2024 03:32

I hope this is not too blunt - don’t want to be rude but you have mentioned twice that you will be doing a DNA test in your own time… so the possible father (s) have no contact with the child? I think it’s important for you to do one ASAP so they can develop bond with baby…

Edited

Hello, I will be doing one in my own time meaning In the next few weeks. I am currently going through a lot right now and just need to get my head straight. I do wish for whomever the father is to have a bond hence why I am not leaving this too long.

OP posts:
TwinklyNight · 10/12/2024 03:36

I agree, do a dna test quickly so the father can bond with the baby as well as pay maintenance.
You should also know in case of family medical history for your little one.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:37

Ph3 · 10/12/2024 03:32

I hope this is not too blunt - don’t want to be rude but you have mentioned twice that you will be doing a DNA test in your own time… so the possible father (s) have no contact with the child? I think it’s important for you to do one ASAP so they can develop bond with baby…

Edited

None have contact with the child so far. Mr a is being ignored by me as we had an argument and he was extremely disrespectful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:38

TwinklyNight · 10/12/2024 03:36

I agree, do a dna test quickly so the father can bond with the baby as well as pay maintenance.
You should also know in case of family medical history for your little one.

Edited

Thank you!

OP posts:
Dodgyshoulder · 10/12/2024 03:43

It would point to Mr A. But as PP have said, only way to find out for sure would be to do a DNA test. How do both men feel about having one done? I’m sorry that you’re going through this, congratulations on your lovely baby and good luck, I hope you get the outcome you want.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:47

Dodgyshoulder · 10/12/2024 03:43

It would point to Mr A. But as PP have said, only way to find out for sure would be to do a DNA test. How do both men feel about having one done? I’m sorry that you’re going through this, congratulations on your lovely baby and good luck, I hope you get the outcome you want.

I have spoken to Mr A about it he's ok with doing it. Mr B, I haven't mentioned it as of yet. I feel like he may be a little annoyed/doesn't care that I've had a baby as he's seen it on my social media. I will be seeing him at an event next week through mutuals so it may be good to speak to him privately or say that i need to speak to him privately and then bring it up?

OP posts:
marmia1234 · 10/12/2024 03:49

I mrA is agreeable then just do his. Don't worry about mr b unless its not mrA

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:50

Dodgyshoulder · 10/12/2024 03:43

It would point to Mr A. But as PP have said, only way to find out for sure would be to do a DNA test. How do both men feel about having one done? I’m sorry that you’re going through this, congratulations on your lovely baby and good luck, I hope you get the outcome you want.

Thank you!

OP posts: