Who is likely the father ?

[Coolbabygirl2]

Hi everyone

This is a no judgement zone and I’d just like everyone’s thoughts as I am unsure and just extremely anxious and it’s causing me stress.

On January 13th 2024 I had a period that lasted until the 16th January.

On my period tracker app, it states that my ovulation date was 24th but changed to 25th (or the other way around). My fertile days were 21st Jan until the 27th Jan 2024. During this time I did an ovulation test on the 24th and 25th Jan but I still ended up having unprotected sex and ended up pregnant.

Mr A - we had unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated inside me on the 1st of Jan, 9th of Jan, 17th of Jan and 23rd of Jan at around 9/10pm.

Mr B - we had unprotected sex on the 19th of Jan and 29th of Jan but he didn’t ejacutlate inside me on the 19th of Jan.

My baby was born on 12 October 2024 due to being induced early. My EDD was 19th Jan due to period calculations and my final EDD from my first scan was the 16th of oct.

I do see a lot of similarities in the baby to Mr A and so do my friends and family.

Mr B, not at all, but I’d still just like to have a peace of mind.

me and Mr A were a thing but used to mess up so we’d make up and break up a lot in a small space of time. However, then he suddenly switched on me whereas mr B it was just a fling here and there whom I only slept with twice.

I know I am stupid for this, I feel it, but I just want to know everyone’s thoughts.

thank you

Do you? The father will be one of the men you had unprotected sex with. What are you hoping to get from this thread, a round of applause?

You can get pregnant up to 3 days after sex so there is definitely a lap over. You can be pregnant full term 38 - 42 weeks, which is never definitely accurate, there is no easy way to work this out.

Do you know your and either of the fathers blood type, as that can be a way to trywork it out. Did you have the rhesus neg injection after baby was born?

If not, DNA, do one, just to put your mind at rest, it will eventually eat you up inside. Been through something similar and not the end result I expected or wanted and lived with a secret for a long time, still living with it. Not proud but did what I did to protect my baby so no negative comments please

Expected levels of selfishness judging by the original post

Were you actively trying to get knocked up?

They probably both believe they are the father at present, she’s unlikely to have told them she was shagging someone else

I can't remember what I did yesterday, let alone exact dates and times I had sex this year 🤔

There's nothing to suggest she wasn't. Made sure she was ovulating and then had sex with two guys without protection.

You don’t like being asked why you were doing an ovulation test? It’s obvious really. You did one and then had unprotected sex where he ejaculated into you during your fertile window multiple times.

No need to be rude, it was good advice plus they were only trying to help you

Why start a thread looking for advice and then behave so rudely to those offering advice. Wondering if this is a wind up or you are just that childish.

You need to grow up- quickly. You don’t get to put in parameters of no judgment zones- you’ve put your (numerous) mistake out there for others to read and yes, make judgements about.

Mistakes happen but this isn’t one mistake that you’re talking about it’s a series of bad decisions and a fatherless child who’s paying the consequences.

I was thinking the same... perhaps OP is rather young.

It's anybody guess. Have a DNA test if you are desperate to know.

Where does it say that? I read edd was Oct 16th and baby was born 12th October. She was talking about conceiving in January. Or have I missed something?

Ah yes you’re right I think there’s a typo.

Born 12th induced early
EDD 19th Oct
final EDS from scan 16th Oct

“My baby was born on 12 October 2024 due to being induced early. My EDD was 19th Jan due to period calculations and my final EDD from my first scan was the 16th of oct.”

Either one could be the dad. Just because he didn’t ejaculate fully doesn’t mean pre ejaculate didn’t enter you.

I actually see this a lot in work so you’re not the only one.

Why was you using ovulation tests? Was you trying to get pregnant or using it as birth control? If birth control - don’t. They are only an estimation. You can ovulate late.

You need to get the DNA test done ASAP because you are denying your son vital time with his father. This isn’t about you anymore

I would ask Mr A to do the DNA test then if it's his you don't need to ask Mr B
It really does need sorting asap because your DC is missing out on maintenance payments which you can pursue once you have the results.

What happened to your "no judgement" you've been stroppy with several people.
You track your ovulation , you choose to sleep with what at least two different ppl without protection had a baby weeks ago and neither possible father has been in touch with you (one argument one not interested according to you).
This could have been sorted weeks ago by a DNA test, Mr A, if no match then DNA test Mr B and so on until you do find the father . Not sure what is so difficult .

You are clearly not 'very serious about these sorts of things'- you had unprotected sex six times, with two different men, in January alone! You are being unbelievably cavalier with your own health and the health of others. Some STDs, such as HIV, can be passed onto your children, so you and your baby had a very lucky escape.

Also, online forums are not, and have never been, judgement free zones.

Seems much more likely to be Mr A (specifically the sex on 23rd Jan) going on your OP plus detail on similarities with Mr A.

The egg should have been already fertilised on 29th Jan assuming ovulation actually happened after the LH surge on 24/25th Jan. I believe sometimes there's a LH surge but ovulation doesn't actually happen and then there's a second surge later that does result in ovulation.

It's more likely A but you need a DNA test to be sure.
Not fair on A, B or the baby not to do one really

Judgement has been rather unfairly demonised the last few decades or so. It used to be aimed at some who didnt deserve it at all (single mothers) but it also used to protect some people from themselves (and innocent children from the consequences).

Like most things, the pendulum swung too far in the other direction.

You can get pregnant up to 3 days after sex so there is definitely a lap over. This isn’t strictly true by the way you’re suggesting it.

Sperm typically live up to three days after being released into the reproductive system, correct. But she would have had to have ovulated within those three days to conceive.

Her ovulation tests show that her two fertile days were the 24th and 25th of Jan. The three day rule would be applied if someone were to ejaculate two to three days before ovulation but three days is typically the maximum so 21st or 22nd. It’s incredibly rare for sperm to last any longer than this. So this would rule out man B at this point. Judging by the ovulation tests it’s likely that she conceived from man A from his sperm on the 23rd when she ovulated on the 24th or 25th. Eggs only have a very small 12-24 hour window to be fertilised before they break down which happens very quickly so chances are she was already pregnant when she slept with man B on the 29th as the 19th would be too early.

This theory assumes that the ovulation tests are in fact accurate and that she didn’t ovulate later that month which is where man B could fall into paternity territory.

Obviously the OP knows she needs to get a paternity test.

Definitely need a DNA test. Depending on your relationship with Mr B I would start there and ask him to consent to a test. Tell him you do not think he is the father but cannot rule it out 100%. Hopefully he agrees and then you can find out either way.
I think asking Mr A will be adding fuel to a fire and causing more damage if it does turn out to be him.