Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Who is likely the father ?

253 replies

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 02:32

Hi everyone

This is a no judgement zone and I’d just like everyone’s thoughts as I am unsure and just extremely anxious and it’s causing me stress.

On January 13th 2024 I had a period that lasted until the 16th January.

On my period tracker app, it states that my ovulation date was 24th but changed to 25th (or the other way around). My fertile days were 21st Jan until the 27th Jan 2024. During this time I did an ovulation test on the 24th and 25th Jan but I still ended up having unprotected sex and ended up pregnant.

Mr A - we had unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated inside me on the 1st of Jan, 9th of Jan, 17th of Jan and 23rd of Jan at around 9/10pm.

Mr B - we had unprotected sex on the 19th of Jan and 29th of Jan but he didn’t ejacutlate inside me on the 19th of Jan.

My baby was born on 12 October 2024 due to being induced early. My EDD was 19th Jan due to period calculations and my final EDD from my first scan was the 16th of oct.

I do see a lot of similarities in the baby to Mr A and so do my friends and family.

Mr B, not at all, but I’d still just like to have a peace of mind.

me and Mr A were a thing but used to mess up so we’d make up and break up a lot in a small space of time. However, then he suddenly switched on me whereas mr B it was just a fling here and there whom I only slept with twice.

I know I am stupid for this, I feel it, but I just want to know everyone’s thoughts.

thank you

OP posts:
Workingthroughit · 10/12/2024 16:02

Given that you want a relationship with neither, and they don't want one with you, not do they want to be involved with the baby, why do you want to know so badly other than curiosity?
Raise your child, bring him up well. Why does he need a 'bond' with someone else who doesn't really want him? Stay away from drama.

mathanxiety · 10/12/2024 16:10

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:29

Hello everyone. Thank you to those responding to my query and for those who are mentioning that I should

  1. do a DNA test - yes. I plan to do this but in my own time. I guess I posted this to get some sort of idea of who the father could be. Regardless, either one would be a good father but it's just upsetting that I would probably not get back with mr a due to my own reasons and mr b was simply a fling.
  2. I am aware that there are STD's and STI's floating about in the world. I get tested regularly and I am very serious about these sort of things. But please, as the post mentions, this is a no judgement zone!

Thanks again all

Show quote history

Suggesting condoms as a precaution against STIs isn't "judgement".

Unprotected sex carries with it the risk of some STIs that are not curable, that will complicate your life and also any future pregnancy.

Please don't squander your health - your baby needs a healthy mum Flowers

And congratulations - hope all is going well.

SoupDragon · 10/12/2024 16:13

Did the two men know you were actively trying to get pregnant?

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:14

SoupDragon · 10/12/2024 16:13

Did the two men know you were actively trying to get pregnant?

Girl read or mind your business !

OP posts:
IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 10/12/2024 16:15

Workingthroughit · 10/12/2024 16:02

Given that you want a relationship with neither, and they don't want one with you, not do they want to be involved with the baby, why do you want to know so badly other than curiosity?
Raise your child, bring him up well. Why does he need a 'bond' with someone else who doesn't really want him? Stay away from drama.

Because she needs to know who should be paying child maintenance. I'm sure you're not suggesting that men who father children they don't want to be involved with should be exempt from paying for those children?

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:15

Wheelyfast · 10/12/2024 14:59

What happened to your "no judgement" you've been stroppy with several people.
You track your ovulation , you choose to sleep with what at least two different ppl without protection had a baby weeks ago and neither possible father has been in touch with you (one argument one not interested according to you).
This could have been sorted weeks ago by a DNA test, Mr A, if no match then DNA test Mr B and so on until you do find the father . Not sure what is so difficult .

You didn't have to comment babe. Dont concern yourself where you're not needed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:16

Normallynumb · 10/12/2024 14:49

I would ask Mr A to do the DNA test then if it's his you don't need to ask Mr B
It really does need sorting asap because your DC is missing out on maintenance payments which you can pursue once you have the results.

Sure will get this done, thanks!Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:17

Jazzjazzjazz · 10/12/2024 14:23

They probably both believe they are the father at present, she’s unlikely to have told them she was shagging someone else

No.. incorrect

OP posts:
Wheelyfast · 10/12/2024 16:17

@Coolbabygirl2 you are actively being rude. You say you track your ovulation you then have unprotected sex more than once. It doesn't sound like you were not trying to get pregnant.

'girl' 'babe' snippy comments make you sound like a teenager, not a fully functioning adult

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 10/12/2024 16:18

@Coolbabygirl2, you keep telling people to mind their business. The same people who know every single date on which you had sex last January. Because you told us.

If you want people to mind their own business, you'll need to stop sharing so much of yours.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:20

Ludovico · 10/12/2024 14:45

Either one could be the dad. Just because he didn’t ejaculate fully doesn’t mean pre ejaculate didn’t enter you.

I actually see this a lot in work so you’re not the only one.

Why was you using ovulation tests? Was you trying to get pregnant or using it as birth control? If birth control - don’t. They are only an estimation. You can ovulate late.

You need to get the DNA test done ASAP because you are denying your son vital time with his father. This isn’t about you anymore

Hello. Thank you. Yes I used it as a method of contraception which I will never do again, I will be doing the dna test it's in the works. Thanks again x

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:20

Normallynumb · 10/12/2024 14:49

I would ask Mr A to do the DNA test then if it's his you don't need to ask Mr B
It really does need sorting asap because your DC is missing out on maintenance payments which you can pursue once you have the results.

Very true. Thanks hun.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:22

Wheelyfast · 10/12/2024 14:59

What happened to your "no judgement" you've been stroppy with several people.
You track your ovulation , you choose to sleep with what at least two different ppl without protection had a baby weeks ago and neither possible father has been in touch with you (one argument one not interested according to you).
This could have been sorted weeks ago by a DNA test, Mr A, if no match then DNA test Mr B and so on until you do find the father . Not sure what is so difficult .

Girl bye you don't know what I've been through the situation isn't as simple as that not because both are unaware I slept with either but because of things much deeper regarding the situation that I don't wish to disclose on here for my safety. You don't know me. I didn't explain every single detail you are just choosing to assume certain things which is fine but don't think you're right. Have a good day.

OP posts:
TwigletsAndRadishes · 10/12/2024 16:24

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:47

I have spoken to Mr A about it he's ok with doing it. Mr B, I haven't mentioned it as of yet. I feel like he may be a little annoyed/doesn't care that I've had a baby as he's seen it on my social media. I will be seeing him at an event next week through mutuals so it may be good to speak to him privately or say that i need to speak to him privately and then bring it up?

Show quote history

I'd get Mr A to do the DNA test first. I'd not be bothering Mr B with anything at this stage. If Mr A's comes back negative then you can have a conversation with Mr B. Tell him you already know he is the father but understand if he wants to do a DNA test for his own reassurance.

SoupDragon · 10/12/2024 16:25

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:14

Girl read or mind your business !

Show quote history

So, yes then.

Wheelyfast · 10/12/2024 16:26

You could cause drama in an empty room. You asked ona public forum.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:26

Wheelyfast · 10/12/2024 16:17

@Coolbabygirl2 you are actively being rude. You say you track your ovulation you then have unprotected sex more than once. It doesn't sound like you were not trying to get pregnant.

'girl' 'babe' snippy comments make you sound like a teenager, not a fully functioning adult

Edited

Ok

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:26

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 10/12/2024 16:18

@Coolbabygirl2, you keep telling people to mind their business. The same people who know every single date on which you had sex last January. Because you told us.

If you want people to mind their own business, you'll need to stop sharing so much of yours.

Once again hun you don't have to be here!

OP posts:
adviceneeded1990 · 10/12/2024 16:27

Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 03:07

Ok Mrs perfect!!

Show quote history

That’s a bit uncalled for when the poster is offering sensible advice! Sleep with as many people as you want if you're single - it’s your body and no one else’s business. However I would imagine HIV would be a bit of a pain in the arse! And if these men believe you are exclusive when they are sleeping with you without a condom then that’s ethically questionable too.

Scutterbug · 10/12/2024 16:29

Goodness, you are quite rude to anyone who challenges you which was always going to happen in a public forum.
I agree that you need to get A to do the DNA first. If he is the father he can then step up and provide for his child.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:29

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 10/12/2024 16:18

@Coolbabygirl2, you keep telling people to mind their business. The same people who know every single date on which you had sex last January. Because you told us.

If you want people to mind their own business, you'll need to stop sharing so much of yours.

.. you done?

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:30

Scutterbug · 10/12/2024 16:29

Goodness, you are quite rude to anyone who challenges you which was always going to happen in a public forum.
I agree that you need to get A to do the DNA first. If he is the father he can then step up and provide for his child.

Thank you for your opinion

OP posts:
GroovyChick87 · 10/12/2024 16:32

You track your ovulation so you must have been trying to get pregnant. You have to own that and make it your priority to find out who's the father. You say it's no one's business but you made it their business by posting and asking for advice! You sound very immature with the " girl bye" stuff too. Grow up and become responsible for yourself and your child.

Original poster
Coolbabygirl2 · 10/12/2024 16:32

GroovyChick87 · 10/12/2024 16:32

You track your ovulation so you must have been trying to get pregnant. You have to own that and make it your priority to find out who's the father. You say it's no one's business but you made it their business by posting and asking for advice! You sound very immature with the " girl bye" stuff too. Grow up and become responsible for yourself and your child.

Read through the forum effectively then comment back babe

OP posts:
Wheelyfast · 10/12/2024 16:33

I'm embarrassed for you, your attitude is shocking