Who is likely the father ?

[Coolbabygirl2]

Hi everyone

This is a no judgement zone and I’d just like everyone’s thoughts as I am unsure and just extremely anxious and it’s causing me stress.

On January 13th 2024 I had a period that lasted until the 16th January.

On my period tracker app, it states that my ovulation date was 24th but changed to 25th (or the other way around). My fertile days were 21st Jan until the 27th Jan 2024. During this time I did an ovulation test on the 24th and 25th Jan but I still ended up having unprotected sex and ended up pregnant.

Mr A - we had unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated inside me on the 1st of Jan, 9th of Jan, 17th of Jan and 23rd of Jan at around 9/10pm.

Mr B - we had unprotected sex on the 19th of Jan and 29th of Jan but he didn’t ejacutlate inside me on the 19th of Jan.

My baby was born on 12 October 2024 due to being induced early. My EDD was 19th Jan due to period calculations and my final EDD from my first scan was the 16th of oct.

I do see a lot of similarities in the baby to Mr A and so do my friends and family.

Mr B, not at all, but I’d still just like to have a peace of mind.

me and Mr A were a thing but used to mess up so we’d make up and break up a lot in a small space of time. However, then he suddenly switched on me whereas mr B it was just a fling here and there whom I only slept with twice.

I know I am stupid for this, I feel it, but I just want to know everyone’s thoughts.

thank you

Ah yes sorry I didn’t mean you said it @Pinkbonbon it was the OP.

some of these comments are just vile. feeling sorry for the baby? what do you know about how OP parents? honestly shameful.

Well unless its blatently obvious due to say the child being mixed race, you wont know for sure. Its too close together. Even looks wise, there could be genetics that mean two children from different dads look very similar. You cant call it without paternity. My youngest was conceived a week my partner was on holiday according to the charts, but we actually had sex 4 days after he came back so the charts were about 8 days out.

I think the OP has shown enough of her character to show she’s not mature enough to be a very good parent.

I appreciate you’re going through a lot right now but if both men know they are possibly the father, they will be going through a lot too. It’s only fair you do a DNA test ASAP, not in a few weeks. It’s not fair that the father has to miss out on the first few weeks while you’re trying to guess who is more likely to be the dad

They really don't if you use the mountains of options out there to prevent it.

No judgement but your posts are exceptionally naive, immature and lacking in any responsibility for the outcome of unprotected sex.

Both chaps could be the father, precum contains sperm so the fact they didn't fully ejaculate is absolute no guarantee that you disd not conceive on those dates.

As for creating a bond with the father, you have waited over 8 weeks before thinking about a DNA test and don't plan to do it for a few more weeks...that isn't conducive to them forming a bond.

You don't know me

Oh, OP, I think we do.

Were either of the ovulation tests positive? Because if they were then there is a chance you were fertile on the 19th and B is the father.

disgusting.

for everyone else who wants to comment can you please spare a thought for OP and the damage that some of these comments may be causing. she already feels like crap about it. also bear in mind that shes 2 months post partum. @CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair

The OP hasn’t posted anything that suggests she feels crap about it. And your right she’s 2 months post partum which means she’s had at least 10
months to do something about it and so far has has done fuck all apart from wanting people to guess for her. Sometimes people need to see the truth reflected from other people. Gently, gently doesn’t do anything to help resolve the situation for the poor child having to live with the consequences of immature adults’ behaviour.

Being post partum doesn't mean you lose all accountability. Most of us manage to get by perfectly OK, with or without partners. I don't think anyone has been unnecessarily nasty. If they have appeared that way, it's been in refection to the OP's posts.

I disgree. Paternity can be determined with cheek swabs but several STIs are incurable.

I'm not judging you. I am judging whoever taught you sex ed at school, as they clearly are not fit for the job if you left school thinking you could rely on ovulation tests and pulling out for contraception.

Ovulation tracking is unreliable even when the woman is using daily body temperature measurements and cervical mucus assessments together. Ovulation tests alone won't even come close to protecting you. Sperm can live in your body for up to five days so if you ovulate a couple of days after sex, you are at risk of pregnancy. That's why women who track ovulation take their temperature and check their mucus daily: to get the advance warning from temperature and mucus changes.

I always ovulated 10-14 days after the first day of my period

That puts Mr A out front. Given the similarities as well is say it's him.

No one cares if you shag Robin Hood and his whole band of Merry Men. It's not about how many people you shag. You need to be sensible about it. Have your fun but don't get left holding the baby. You need to be more responsible.

You can’t use random men as sperm donators against their will.

When men choose not to wear condoms, they are not sperm donors against their will.

I would normally say that, but OP has also stated she was tracking her ovulation and knew she was fertile when she had unprotected sex. If she had disclosed that fact to the man she slept with, I am sure he would of worn 3.

A man who barebacks takes the risk of barebacking a woman who is trying for a baby, as well as one who is on contraception but is unlucky. Men need to think before they dip their wicks.

I think it would be most sensible to also say, as a woman who isn’t on the pill, who is knowingly in her fertile window, would abstain from unprotected sex or use contraceptives herself too. The OP wasn’t SA’d she knowingly had unprotected sex, whilst knowing she was fertile, and not just once with mr A, over repeated days.

I usually give women the benefit of the doubt in these scenarios - but the OP has shown a complete lack of accountability throughout the thread and sounds like a naive fool

OP, do you have any support for the concern for your safety?

That sound worrying when you are on your own with a small baby.

I hate it when people say they are confused, as an opening gambit to a bitchy comment.

Poor kid, either way it's not exactly a great gene pool you've saddled them with, you don't sound mature or intelligent enough to be reproducing.

Lashing out rudely at people you've asked for help isn't a good look.

Do any of the people involved work, or indeed have any sort of plan for bringing up this child in a stable, loving environment?! (I'm including you in that!)

Ovulation can vary a lot, anything from 10 days to 16 days after first day of period is normal. I usually ovulate day 10 or 11.

No one in this drama comes out looking clever.