DP has been left an estate in a will ...

[spidersnope]

First off I've got no interest in anyone else's money , I'm just questioning what future complications this could throw up for a couple.

Between leaving his ex and meeting myself my dp has been left an estate , around £500k

Good for him. However the will stipulates that should he marry the spouse is to receive no benefit from the estate .

We're only a few years in and I've got no intention of moving in together or marriage just yet but this kind of puts me off.

So A. How would this work realistically and B, how would you feel about this?

The person with the will is still very much with us so this would be something far down the line hopefully

I wonder if this is one of those things someone could choose to put in a will but which doesn't have to be heeded. It's like consigning the recipient to a life on their own, otherwise.

Sorry, you're saying the person is still alive, your husband hasn't actually received this yet? So he's been told this by the person who's money it is, right?

We're not married or cohabiting yet
This may decide if we do or don't tbh
So as far as I know , he's been told this.
Im not sure if he's seen any official documents

Given the amount of money it's very sensible to not want a future spouse to benefit who could waltz off with half in a divorce.

Unless it goes into a trust though don't think it's legally enforceable? As if you marry your assets become marital assets

Surely you can live there with him, you just can't inherit it, or benefit from its sale?

This is my dilemma
I don't want that
If we marry and cohabit I want the house to be ours jointly like a normal couple and not to be turfed out of my home if he died
We both have decent jobs and I have quite a bit of capital myself . We could buy somewhere nice without this other money .

DP should disregard all talk from this benefactor.
It is controlling. Your DP should decide if and who to marry based on other things.
You and your DP could be well advised to take out a prenup on each other before marriage - to safeguard assets you already own and to safeguard any family inheritance.

I am not sure how enforceable stipulations like that are. I think it comes down to whether you want kids together. If you do then I would leave now. But if you don’t want kids then just live together, contribute towards the bills but not upkeep of the house. Buy your own place and rent it out.

I wouldn't move into that particular property anyway and neither would he
I imagine if he did inherit it he would sell it or rent it out rather than live in it

That will isn't legally enforceable.

Just buy your own place - no need to tie up your finances with him.

Luckily I already own my own place almost mortgage free
Currently we are pretty much on an even level when it comes to assets and finances

Currently

My gut is telling me just to stay put he makes tell about living together

Deffo not having any kids with him .

This does sound controlling.
I have a relative who has been disinherited. His sibling will get everything...a lot. However, for his sanity he is placing that fact to back of his mind. His father is a controlling arse and his sibling incredibly manipulative. It drives them mad he is ignoring the disinheritance.
My point is that this relative of your partner is still alive. They sound controlling. Anything could happen between now and death to inheritance. Live your life without this as a concern.

If the person is still alive who knows if there'll even be an estate to inherit - what if they require care fees etc.

Once Dh has taken ownership of the estate it will be in his name then it’s his to do with as he wants, if you do get married it would probably be best to buy somewhere else together anyway, maybe rent that one out for income. I’m not a lawyer but from my limited knowledge can see no way that would be work long term as once he owns it he owns it.

The main thing you would need to worry about is what your partners attitude to it is. If he’s uncle Fred specified this, it’s rubbish let’s sell it and buy somewhere lovely together. He’s a keeper. If he said uncle Fred said this, you can move in with me but it’s mine, all mine. Then you need to run.

Get on with your relationship .... ignore all this stuff ... you can't let it influence the development of your relationship.

If you are still together when this person dies you will probably have life ticking along ... house bought etc ... and this money will be over and above and he can do what he wants with it.

Hopefully his decisions about the money will benefit both of you.

In practice none of this matters until said person dies.
Even then, it becomes his money to do as he sees fit. The most the deceased can do is haunt him.
If you get married, without a pre-nup, usual divorce laws would apply.
If you don’t divorce and he dies before you, and you’re married, you’d inherit as his spouse. If you’re not married, and he has no will, you’ll get nothing. If he does have a will, it would go to the beneficiary in there.
This person could change their will tomorrow and write him out if they want. I wouldn’t worry about it in the context of your relationship.

There is a facility - like a bloodline trust - that means that you could not touch that money in a future divorce and that yes, should your DP (future DH predecease you it would not be your house / money). But it would be your children’s. So your DP could stipulate in his will, for example, that you should stay in the house until death or until you needed a care home and your children could release the money then.

Also bear in mind that this is money you would not otherwise have had, and you could arrange your finances so, for example, a property you currently own is rented out, so you jointly or singly own that one…

Having read threads on MN where the children of first marriages find their fathers estate will now pass to the children of their stepmother, I do think there is a place for trusts such as these.

I would speak to a solicitor because I am not sure that the condition stated in the will is legal or enforceable. How do you prevent a spouse from benefiting?

There are lots of questions.

From reading between the lines the OP is 'over 40' so not going to have children anyway.

The 'Estate' isnt a Country House, its a sum of money and/or a property.

The real question that only the executors can answer is what are the stipulations in the will and are they enforceable

Don't listen to the legal opinions of random people on the internet; get proper legal advice from a lawyer. If you must discuss it on Mumsnet, put the thread in Legal so you have a better chance of getting a reply from someone qualifies

Sorry I don't understand the issue (perhaps lack of sleep!) Your current partner stands to inherit an estate but potentially with a clause (that may be enforceable but might not be) that you don't benefit from this inheritance? Neither of you would want to live in that property and you both have the means to purchase a property together without this inheritance? Outside of this the other person is still alive so there's no current issue?

Can't you just set the potential inheritance aside in your mind and continue the relationship see where it goes?

ETA: can't you plan for your future without this money? Pension, savings, purchase a property together if that's where the relationship goes without using any of the potential inheritance so if the relationship ends it would be divided equally with no unusual contentious issues?

This may be his way of telling you that if you do marry, he’s not willing to share finances with you…
A bit of a red flag, IMO

I don't believe you can specify things like this.

I was disappointed to find that I could not stipulate that my will should be read out to all the family, at midnight, during a howling storm, on a remote island. (Bloody lawyers poking their nose in, mucking up one of my better ideas.)

Why would this decide? What's it got to do with you?