DP has been left an estate in a will ...

[spidersnope]

First off I've got no interest in anyone else's money , I'm just questioning what future complications this could throw up for a couple.

Between leaving his ex and meeting myself my dp has been left an estate , around £500k

Good for him. However the will stipulates that should he marry the spouse is to receive no benefit from the estate .

We're only a few years in and I've got no intention of moving in together or marriage just yet but this kind of puts me off.

So A. How would this work realistically and B, how would you feel about this?

The person with the will is still very much with us so this would be something far down the line hopefully

Only a couple of years
Yes he told me early on
The issue with their codependent friendship was mainly in the first 6 months

Why have you never met her?! She's his best friend and you're the person he's in love with..... that's really odd.

He hasn't inherited anything. No one has died. There might not even be a will. For all he's knows the money could be left to a cats home or it could be all gone by the time the person dies. Maybe there's no money, just a lot of outstanding debt.

Ignore it and crack on.

This will is irrelevant surely. The only way it has any bearing on your relationship is if your DP is influenced by it, would the threat of being disinherited bother him for instance?

Yes
I have asked
He made excuses

The more I read the more I'm thinking we've got a bit of a real life Miss Havisham here 😂

@OneTaupePoster what are you on about? When I say technicalities I mean the technicalities of the will and living with someone who inherits a vast sum if you're going to live with them too

IMHO this is totally controlling and also a total non event.

shes roughly the same age and you all sound “older” ie 40+
she is statistically going to outlive him unless she’s a lot younger
no one is inheriting anything for a while
care home fees could eat it all up … she might just spend it… who knows

if you stay together and she dies AND he inherits… just don’t use it for property.
if he is keen to “respect her wishes” 😵‍💫🙄 he can put the money in investments via an IFA and draw down interest or capital to buy non property based things for you guys to enjoy ie cars / holidays and bluntly she’ll be dead so there is nothing she can do.

also the money is legally his once inherited so he could will it to you if you bought a house

i agree with others despite how scaled back it is, both this woman and your DPs relationship with her are messed up - that’s the problem not the imaginary inheritance

Why are you giving this headspace? This woman is clearly manipulating him with money and I doubt very much if your DP has seen said 'will' or any evidence to back up her claim.

She is trying to sabotage your relationship and you are helping her by even thinking about this. Your DP needs to cut her off, it is a very unhealthy 'friendship'.

It sounds like it's being left in a trust fund to him perhaps but I really don't see what your big drama is about it to be honest. If you make a big deal out of it he might just think you are indeed after his money and make his decision about your relationship easier for him. It sounds like a kind gift to him and you will still very likely still indirectly benefit from it from being in a relationship with him. Don't make a drama out of it.

I've just seen she's in her mid 50s. This imaginary inheritance could be 40 years away. If you stay together you'll already have a house and hopefully have your mortgage paid off by then.

This is a total non issue. She's probably not actually leaving him anything anyway.

She sounds like a bit of a baby reindeer.

Sorry OP but it seems likely either the person who told your DP this is playing some kind of controlling game with him, or DP is lying to you. In the UK a solicitor would not put this in a will, and if the individual put it in, it would have no legal force.

If you are both financially secure then it’s not even worth thinking about. It might not be true, it might be used up in care home fees. If you own two mortgage fee houses between you and have good incomes it would be a bonus but not exactly life changing. Certainly not worth making any plans around. The think you should be thinking about is the odd relationship they have 🚩 . If it is a plot for a novel I think the sum involved needs to 10 times bigger and the people poor to start with.

1. This is all very theoretical and over dramatic as no one has died or is close to it. The will is the least of your worries.
2. I expect the friend is more than a friend or at least always was, if he has pulled back on the friendship, I think he doesn't want to

All this will business is a red herring. Weird too as you don't even know if it's true.

OP, this clause is more common than you think. It's more about "if he inherited it and then we divorced it wouldn't be part of the pot" or "if he died while the Will was going through probate it wouldn't be yours".
You haven't said how the money is set up and that is key. Lots of PP have assumed it's a house. Is it or is it money sat in a trust?
If it's money then there will be safeguards around that - ie he may not be able to draw it all out and give it straight to you. But he can use the money he draws to eg go on holiday together.
The fact you're worrying about this now, honestly, does feel very grabby and entitled.
He has someone in his life who is trying to control him but does her let her?

He hasn’t inherited anything since the person is still alive.

Anything can happen before the person passes. They may go into care, remarry themselves, disinherit your DP, or leave it to the cats home.

You’re being ridiculous even thinking about this money. You’re not married and haven’t got children with him (or even want them).

Live your life now and take things as they come.

^ this.

Especially the bit about the red flag relationship.

And the novel plot, like I said already it all sounds a bit Dickensian !

This. I can’t believe you’re wasting time giving this any thought.