DP has been left an estate in a will ...

[spidersnope]

First off I've got no interest in anyone else's money , I'm just questioning what future complications this could throw up for a couple.

Between leaving his ex and meeting myself my dp has been left an estate , around £500k

Good for him. However the will stipulates that should he marry the spouse is to receive no benefit from the estate .

We're only a few years in and I've got no intention of moving in together or marriage just yet but this kind of puts me off.

So A. How would this work realistically and B, how would you feel about this?

The person with the will is still very much with us so this would be something far down the line hopefully

Yep
I'm glad I saw the messages with the pair of them slagging me off
No going back from that

Hi op,

you would really need to seek legal advice. This is perfectly possible that you wouldn’t see a penny of it and knowing that up front…that you are ok with it.

there are more and more stuff like that going around for the estate to stay within the family of origin 🤷🏼‍♀️

Now of course your situation is not really family but weirdo friend. That applies too and it is to protect that specific relationship of origin. You can’t change that.

if that puts you off, you should separate now… if it is clear to him that he will ever never ever live in it then just rent it and use the money together to pay your own mortgage with your name on the deed? If you’d separate you’d have half of that.

Good luck 🌺

This woman ‘won’ and got rid of you.

I wonder what your bf thinks about this situation now? He could have played it much better. I doubt the money was guaranteed to him, not even close.

Yeah I was thinking she's got what she wanted but then he was as much to blame as her and it's him I was in the relationship with
Seeing the pair of them slagging me off and calling me 'a dick ' has very much cemented my decision .

I think you have very much ‘won’. You took control of the situation, and have your life back.

I prefer to think that OP has the better deal, ridding herself of this ridiculous specimen and his peculiar ‘friend’!
Well done OP, he’s never going to change, he’s under her control and a somewhat pathetic individual unable to act for himself let alone anyone else.

What? Missed that…

they both called you names…

yeap. Bye bye.

I had similar when my dh client 15 years older found out that I existed
and we were engaged, she had been subtly flashing all her wealth to him but he didn’t notice and thought she was a bit weird but was polite and she ramped it up in desperation close to the wedding date. He then had a light bulb moment and realised she didn’t just want his professional services, thought it hilarous, and was a bit insulted tbh, palmed her off to a colleague. Most men aren’t interested in women 15 years older in that way.

I do not think your bf was interested in her like that, probably just friends but likes the idea of getting the money.

He was joining in with the slagging off?

He was the one calling me a 'a dick' yes

I'm not going to lie I am quite proud of myself
I've taken a lot of shit in relationships and I let a lot slid in this one but I've finally stood my ground and clearly it was the right thing to do
And looking at thier messages I actually think this was always a him issue more than a her issue all along

Good riddance @spidersnope !
May not seem like a good outcome now, but it's for the best.
Fresh start for a new year! Out with the old and all that 😜

Actually the perfect time to end it.

i noticed you were spending Christmas Day with his parents. Get up early and do a lovely Christmas food shop and toast your new much less complicated life.

Thanks
I've already changed plans to be with my dad and then with 'my single male friend' funnily enough

Well done!

You've done the hardest part. Now enjoy what's left of 24 and start making plans for 25.

I should point out that when I say I'm spending Xmas day with my 'single male friend' this is in fact a 30 year friendship that has never crossed any boundaries
Im not jumping into something else already 😂

Well done for being decisive and not letting this drag on. I suspect he has been playing you one against the other. Why else would he be being complicit in calling you names etc. with her?!
Have a lovely Christmas with your dad and with your pal. You deserve it after this caper!

It's so weird though
I think I got her all wrong
From the messages I managed to read it was her trying to rationalise the situation whilst he's just like 'she's being a dick' etc

You might find that if you had ever met her the two of you would have had an illuminating conversation!

@Justkeepingplatesspinning probably would have got on like a house on fire to be fair
Which is what he's said before
So why not let me meet her after 2 years
Oh well
Over now

My PIL will stated that if my husband died before me I'd get his share, but not if I'd remarried. H took great delight in telling me this. I just rolled my eyes as I'd have given the money to the kids anyway.., I've divorced him since.

Work out what the issue is for you then you'll be able to work out the solution. If you're not planning marrying him then ..

Is she of a similar age to him? He hasn't "been left" anything at all, there's no reason to suppose she'll die before him. What a storm in a bloody teacup!

Well done @spidersnope not what you were expecting at the start of all this but I think you have done the right thing. And yes, it’s likely more him than her: he seems obsessed. Although God knows what the Will stuff is about. But him bad-mouthing you to someone else is the last straw!

Yes that was quite the 'twist' wasn't it
Just goes to show you never really know someone

Blocked him on all avenues now
I actually felt sorry for him when I left
But you make your bed and all that