DP has been left an estate in a will ...

[spidersnope]

First off I've got no interest in anyone else's money , I'm just questioning what future complications this could throw up for a couple.

Between leaving his ex and meeting myself my dp has been left an estate , around £500k

Good for him. However the will stipulates that should he marry the spouse is to receive no benefit from the estate .

We're only a few years in and I've got no intention of moving in together or marriage just yet but this kind of puts me off.

So A. How would this work realistically and B, how would you feel about this?

The person with the will is still very much with us so this would be something far down the line hopefully

It's interesting that people have said this is controlling and the first post about setting him up for a life on his own

To drip feed

This person is his female friend who in my opinion is obsessed with him

When I first met him I found their friendship to be overbearing

I ignored the 100 texts a day , daily phone calls and him having to see her twice a week every week.

It came to a head when he cancelled plans with me 3 times in quick succession to go do something for her. Asking me to take annual leave for example to spend a day with him and then spending the best part of the day with her as she had yet another issue that needed sorting .

He's now dialled this friendship right back but I still feel uncomfortable about the whole thing.

These are obviously separate issues to the legality and technical issues the will leaves but like I say it's interesting other people have said this is 'controlling' without knowing who the person was .

This is your DPs mother or father right? And they are still alive.
They have witnessed your DP going through one divorce, possibly losing a lot of money. So they want to protect the inheritance they plan on leaving your DP.
Not unreasonable in the least.

Firstly are you sure he's not just saying this for his own benefit so you don't get any of it. Seriously consider this.

Why the drip feed. Seriously

Walk away, OP.

You don't need this shit in your life.

She's staking her claim on him. And he's letting her....

It sounds as though the person is not actually dead, ie your boyfriend has not been left an estate. It might be years until you have to deal with this, if ever. But, it does open up some important conversations about finances.

Edit - it took me a while to write this and I missed the drip feed.

Well, that update changes things!
An uncomfortable dynamic....

I didn't want these other issues to cloud opinions
It was the technicality of this particular aspect I wanted opinions on

I'm sorry I am very confused why you are even thinking about this.
Someone who is very much alive has written in their will your partner will get a house. This was done before this your partner had started seeing you and there was a stipulation no future partners can benefit from the house. .
Just why does this affect you?

It sounds like a novel or a film. I would just ignore the whole leaving an estate thing and focus on this other lady who seems overly attached. Telling your partner she's leaving him stuff on her will sounds melodramatic and a bit creepy. Is she's the same age as him it will be ages before it, if ever, becomes a reality. It just sounds like a way for her to maintain a sort of connection with him. Id be a bit bemused by that tbh. For bemused read thinking she's a stalker.

Shes said it to cause drama and you are letting her. You have already said you have plenty of cash between you, just ignore her.

So if this person dies he will inherit the money/house. If it is his he can do with it as he pleases. If he dies before his friend then presumably she would give her estate to someone else. I don't really see an issue .

The technicality almost fades into nothing following the spectacular drip feed, tbh. I was going to say how would you feel if the situation was reversed and it was you who stood to inherit - would you ring fence the inheritance? However, unless your DP has pulled back from the relationship with this woman to the extent that he never sees her again, you should be running. I can't understand why you put up with it in the first place. .

This is not about money. Walk away.

@Gorgonemilezola oh trust me this has been a bone of contention and caused me many sleepless nights
He has massively dialled back the friendship and other than that issue our relationship is great
I am kind of hoping she meets someone else or decides to leave it to dogs trust of something
But for now obviously I'm staying very much put in my own home
Just wanted opinions on how this would work if we ever moved forward

I advise you not to take anything on this thread seriously. There are people for example here saying 'once it's left to him he can do with it as he likes' and 'this will is not enforcible'. Neither of these things are true. Someone even said 'walk away' which is literally crazy, your partner hasn't done anything wrong!

Take this advice:

If you love your partner, then just sit tight, carry on with him as if this hasn't happened, then if and when the inheritance takes place, he can seek legal advice on what the conditions actually mean in reality.

Agree with this! Why would he run his life around what someone has told him who may live for another 10/20/30 etc years? Also this person could change their minds and leave everything to someone else, whenever they fancied! Just ignore them and get on with your lives.

It sounds like a pretty pathetic attempt to control him - "don't marry her and I'll give you everything when I die". I would guess there is a good chance that she grows up and remakes the will before she dies anyway. Ignore it and live your lives.

As she is a friend are they similar ages? If so, unless she has a terminal illness there is a good chance they will die around the same time or he will predecease her so the will is pretty pointless.

I think you have more to be worrying about that a potential inheritance on your DPs side.
Dialling back isn't enough. He needs to reevaluate this friendship, it can't come with conditions, it's 100% controlling. But maybe he is enjoying the attention?

Potentially everything if he intends to follow the stipulations in the will. OP would be living with him in a home she doesn’t own and if he died first she would be homeless.

She's about 15 years older than us
So mid 50ish

Also to add

I've never met this woman

You can’t leave money, with instructions on how you spend it. Once it’s your money, you get to decide, no one else not even the deceased.

Does your partner see her much? How does he feel about all this?